Never been loved and very depressed?

Question

Just wanted to know if theres anyone else with my problem, I'm 30 years old and never had a girlfriend a day in my life, not even been on a single date and life is getting to be so depressing for me. I find drinking to the point where I'm numb is the only escape I have on my off days. I've been told my whole life I was never good looking enough to have a girlfriend even though I have a great job and never been in any trouble or ever did drugs and always tryed to live right with god but no matter how hard I try I'm always told it's not good enough. I never emagend how lonely life would be when I was young and even thought why bother living the next day why bother because nothing you do is ever good enough. I have no friends at all or any family. The only thing I find that eases the stress and depression is getting drunk to the point where I feel nothing like I am now. I don't even remember how I drove home tonight but I surly missed the drive way my car is in the front yard.

Answer 1

I drink, enjoy it too, even over-indulge from time to time.

Having said the above, my advice is to give up booze for the next few months. If it's not a problem, then go from there. If it is, you're FIRST problem will be to conquer the alcohol.

Next, get out of the house, join organizations, SPEAK to people as often as possible, and ASK the ladies to dinner, a show, a ball game or a concert. ASK, stop waiting for them to ask you (which I'd bet is your biggest problem).

If all else fails, seek counseling.

Good luck!

Answer 2

snap out of it! i know that's easier said than done. stop believing what others have told you...get away from the negative people, be they family, so called friends or whomever. you are probably just shy and haven't felt self confident.

that could be because of the way you were nurtured or the environments that you don't feel at ease in. it's going to be harder for you to deal with and appeal to people if you continue to drink so heavily. try to get a handle on the drinking and seek some treatment for the depression anyway.
don't give up hope and don't settle for just anybody.

Answer 3

Have you tried finding a hobby where you can meet girls at? I am sure if you just relax and be yourself a girl will find that she likes you just the way you are...just be patient (nobody likes a guy who is drunk all the time) and in time you will find someone who wants to be with you, don't listen to people who tell you that you are not good looking enough because those people are shallow and don't care about you or your feelings...hope this has helped you

Answer 4

Stop drinking, get busy, work out, look happy and BE happy with what you have then the right girl will come. Remember never find the perfect love coz it'll never come like that. Be a loving person and everyone would want to be near you.

Answer 5

hey relax,
maybe u are trying so hard to look for love
while u dont have to, because u just need to wait.
or maybe its just around the corner,..

i can be ur fren, all of us here at this site can be ur fren.

and also dont u think that maybe because u drink too much girls that are interested on u that u dont even notice or know can be turn off by that.

instead of drinking too much y not do execise go to the gym.

u can msg me and i can be ur fren....

by the way where u from?

goy myspace account? mine is [e-mail]
u can check my profile

Answer 6

OK first....the drinking and driving has got to stop. You know what a hard life is because you've had one. You don't want to end someone's life and make somebody else's life harder by killing someone they love and need around because you were in pain and had to drink. Drink at home.

Regarding your loneliness, it was painful just reading your what you wrote, so I can only imagine how bad you must feel everyday. Life isn't fair, and some people get way more than their fair share of crap, and unfortunately you seem to be one of them. Being single is one thing, but not having any family or friends is on a whole other level of loneliness.

Have you made efforts in the past to make friends and date? Volunteer in your community so that you can meet people. You meet one, they introduce you to another, etc. Mentor a kid, find a literacy project somewhere in the vicinity you live or work in and teach adults how to read. There are lots of things to do that will not only help you meet people, but will prove to you that you truly, truly are a valuable human being and that lots of people out there need and would love your help. You said you've got a good job - how about working with troubled teens to motivate them or help them into adulthood?

Throw out all those negative thoughts that people in the past have put in your head. To hell with them. Seriously. It's been damaging enough. Don't you think you've been through enough already? Don't make yourself relive it.

If you're shy or unsure of how to approach women, check out the self-help book section of your local bookstore and see how many books there are for that issue. It's because millions of men have problems with that, so don't feel like you're alone. You do have to overcome that though. Keep working on it. And buy some clothes that make you feel good about yourself (they don't have to be expensive) and walk with confidence. Take pride in your looks, your job, your home. Smile, be pleasant and approachable. Consider on-line dating. You see a woman you like, approach her and strike up a conversation. Just be a gentleman and if she rejects you, dust it off your shoulders and try again. Don't wait for life to happen to you. You have to go out there and make it happen. I know you've done that when it comes to your job, but you've got to do it for your personal life, no matter how difficult that may be.

And please find a therapist. You can really benefit from a professional who you can talk to regularly and who can help you with your depression, your problems and your sense of shame for never feeling good enough that people instilled in you. Also, try not to stay at home too much. Don't spend too much time on the computer. Join a gym, take a language class. Just keep growing. Contact your local YMCA and see what group activities they have this summer. They’ve got great nature walks, hikes, etc. and you’re bound to meet people that way. Think of life as an adventure and go out there and live it. Plus you don't know who you'll meet around the corner. Start taking better care of yourself. Act confident and you'll eventually become more confident. Fake it till you make it. Do everything you can to shut this painful chapter in your life. You're welcome to email me if you'd like (check my profile). I hope everything works out for you. Good luck. -:)

Answer 7

If your in America... it's because all of our women are shallow vain wh*res who have no values, morales, and are just plain evil....... you have to look like Brad Pitt to even get a girl.... Join the club man!!!! F*ck American Women.... try to find a woman from another country where they haven't been raised to be shallow sl*ts !!!

Answer 8

your just around the wrong people man, and about looks, you'll meet a girl that will like you for who you are sooner or later and will not think your ugly

Answer 9

You need to start by loving your self when you love your self others will see that and will want to love you too.

Answer 10

hey man let me tell u something ur attrswctive its just that u have been told something so manytimes u have belived it hey stop that