Why is it so hard to think of what to do about her wanting a baby at 15?

Question

My gf told me a couple days ago she wants a baby. My baby and wow shock. I mean we are only 15 and 17 and the only reason why her parents dont have a problem with it is cuz her older sib is 19 and is dating a 16 year old. But the main think is with me is that we have been together on and off for over a year now. I don't know if I want to do this now in my life cuz these past couple of days my mind has went from yes lets have a baby to no no no lets wait till we both finish school and start off in the careers of our choice then see how we feel about having a baby. I don't get why she wants it now I know many of you have given me lots of answer but I am still confused cuz once I think about what all of you have said then no a baby is a bad thing right now and then when Im around her she gets me to change my mind. Whats going on with me? What should I do?

Answer 1

Before making a decision, think about the logistics of having a kid. Do you, at 17, have a full time job (40 hrs/wk) paying more than $13/hr? That's the EXTREME LOW END of what it takes to support yourself plus a significant other plus a little one without any help, and you'd have to pinch pennies more than you'd like (ie say hello to the food shelf).

If not, would your or her parents be both willing and able to help financially? Have they said so? Or are they completely out of the loop on this decision? Even if they have offered, can they afford it, or do they already grumble about financial issues?

If by some freak chance this could work out logistically, then why not go for it? Odds are, though, that you're not in a position where you could do this without it having a serious negative impact on your life - mention this to your girlfriend, talk to her about it but go prepared, don't just get talked into whatever.

Another little mental exercise to mull over - imagine your friends in college, having a great time, partying, whatever. Picture being there with them. Now, picture being that same age, but you've dropped out of high school, work in a gas station because nobody will hire a dropout, coming home every night to be greeted by a dirty diaper and maybe five or six hours of sleep, non-consecutive of course, and that's if you're lucky.

Answer 2

It sounds like there is nothing else that anyone of us on here can do for you. I remember answering your question the first time you asked and I'm telling you man you will ruin your life having a child this early in lfe. I mean I'm 30 and still don;t have any kids yet and trust me I'm not rushing anything. It sounds good and all but look at al the bad things that may happen. Who's gonna provide for the child because it's not your parents responsibility to do so? How can the both of you go off to college with a child and not be able to provide for it? Who's gonna get up at 3:00 in the morining when the child is sick or crying and the both of you have class the next morning?

The both of you are still very young and I just don;t see how the two of you could bring a child into this world without any financial support. No it's not all about money but let's be real it takes some money to raise a child these days. And another thing to think about is why is she pushing so hard to have a child right now? something sounds pretty suspect to me. I'll tell you this make sure that you usse a condom and a condom that you buy because I've heard of women that want to get pregnant so bad that they will actually punch holes in the condom and give it to their man to use knowing that it has holes in it. Then you're left wondering how did she get pregnant when you used a condom. Some women, not all are sneaky like that. Be careful and Good luck

Answer 3

You two are out of your minds... You both do not understand the all responsiblities to have a baby AT ALL! Take a good look at Britney Spears wrecked up life now, she's an great example for you teenagers who want a baby! You two need to finish school and get a career before you think about having a baby. Not only that, you guys should have a baby when you two are married first. I doubt your gf and you will stay together for a long time anyway, so why think about having a baby? Seriously, its a bad decision to have a baby at your age. You will regret that you had a baby later on if you did.

Answer 4

You are "torn", and that's why you change!

First, the girl's parents should get into family Counseling! Why are they allowing their 19 yr. old to date one who is 16? Good parents step in and talk to their kids about the "birds and the bees", and give lectures about finishing School first, etc.
kids need guidance from their parents and those people you mentioned are going to be Grand-parents SOON and they need to talk to their youngest!

This is a sad situation. Your gf needs direction and isn't getting it from home. She wants to "fulfill" in her life what they aren't giving her and she is confusing her want for a baby. Please tell her she is too young to think of this already! This is a BIG responsibility for you both being young! It's a strain physically and mentally and too many young girls, like your gf have babies then find they cannot handle it! Also tell her not to rush her life so much! She and YOU need to enjoy these years because once you take steps now, it will impact the rest of your life and you guys don't want guilt trips bcuz suddenly you find you are having to get up with an infant in the hrs. of 1am, and around the clock!

If her own Mother won't guide her, encourage her to see a School Counselor or her family Dr. and they will "spell" out motherhood in a hurry and talk about a "WAKE UP CALL!" the girl has her whole life to bear children, save those days when it's time for it, after College and whatever, BUT both of you need to enjoy your life first. Don't bring a baby into the world yet.




Talk to someone!

Answer 5

OMG..wanting a baby at 15??? Ask her "doesn't she think that she has to take care of herself at this age than taking care of the baby?"
its too young..its not easy to get a baby. To be parents, you have to be mature. That's the most important thing...how's she's gonna do parenting while she's still needing her mommy's taking care and daddy's money??? Or she's just wanting a baby as a doll to play with?? ask he if she just want a doll...taking care of a baby needs much more matureness, patience, finanical independence, time...I'm sure you both are still schooling right? how can you both be independent from parents at this age? u r still living under ur parents..u r not at the right age to even think about having a baby or sex...if she's wanting baby so much, she should wait for few years until she's 20 or you both finish college..
she doesn't think about how life will be after getting baby..she just think about short term only..u r both too young, so who can be sure you can be together whole life and take care of child together? if you break up oneday, what will happen to the baby???
Having the baby is much more than just playing with a doll...you need to feed the baby, change diapers, and when the baby grows old, u need to do parenting..if you r too young, u won't have enough wisdom or matureness to raise a child..
Tell her that there are so much more time left to have a baby..she can get it after 20 (which is the right age)..
dont think about whther she'll get sad bcoz of this..u can't let her do what she wants and later both your life will be destroyed...
This is a big thing..so be careful..just say no to her strongly..tell her also why...
Life is like building a house...without proper foundation, how can a building be strong? the building will collapse without proper foundation..Finish school..finish college ..get a job..then decide what you want to do..

Answer 6

Oh my goodness...Why would you PURPOSELY punish an innocent newborn baby? 15? She's still a baby herself. I mean dont get me wrong...I think Parenthood is the MOST AWESOME occurance that could ever happen in a person's life BUT I also KNOW that although I will NEVER regret giving birth to my son when I was 20. This was my 2nd pregnancy because I was pregnant at 18 also and miscarried AND NOW 10 yrs later...I know that I have better morals and that I could have provided better for him and been more responsible and mature in my parenting if I had waited.

Answer 7

Well.. first things first... she is not thinking stright.. i mean you guys are very young.. and whatever you do now is going to effect your whole life a head... i mean i am 25 and i have a daughter and i know it is very hard to take care of her...and i am telling you 15 is definetely not the age... Let me tell you something.. chances are even if she gets pregant.. she is going to have some serious health problem... She is not completely matured yet... and the stress on the body is not good... Medically 23 is the right age to have a baby.. and tell her that and with you guys.. you should be concerntrating more on what you are going to take in college or university not babies........ i hope my answer is at any help

Answer 8

You are confused you care for her and you want to make her happy. just look at it this way, can you afford your own place, hospital bills, food, furniture, diapers formula, and lots more that comes when having a child. do you have a good job where you can support your girlfriend and the baby. Its fine to want a baby . but do it after you guys get out of school. you will have a better start than to do it now. you both are young enjoy your life when you can, because once a baby is born all your free time is gone. good luck. and best wishes.

Answer 9

I always say my sister is my birth control. I could have a useless pooty head for a child like my mama did! Or you could have a still born child like my grandma did. Or you could have a down syndrome baby like my great grandma did. Or you could get her pregnant and die before the baby is born like my Grandpa George did to my Grandma Flora. Or you could have conjoined twins like those ppl on tv. Having a baby ain't always just having a baby. Sometimes you have a baby with tons of problems!
Don't do it until you are mature enough to handle all the situations I outlined!
Be the voice of reason in any room you are in!

Answer 10

Stay away from this girl until she gets her act together. 15 years of age, unmarried, dependent on her parents without a career to lean on, she is hardly ready to take care of a baby. You should concentrate on getting your education and your independence before taking on such a responsibility that might ruin your chances of a prosperous future. At best she is a spoiled little girl who thinks a baby is like a doll to love, a baby will declare her adulthood and get her the attention she desires or at worst, she is trying to snare you into a future of paying child support because she is too lazy to work. Don't do it!