Why avoid it?

Question

I saw an answer on another question that got me thinking. Most guys especially younger Ones are good at expressing themselves or their feelings to someone they really like &/or aren't sure how she might feel. If girls or woman want guys to open up & especially if she says she's always honest & upfront also why then when a guy does admit feelings do they run & avoid the issue? If you dont want to hurt the friendship wouldnt running away hurt it just as much if not more because of the hurt & confusion as to the whole thing let alone the fact that he opened up & worst of all not knowing if you two are still friends or if you've decided that you cant be friends or what. Everyone gets rejected at some point some way or another it just seems cruel to avoid it & hope he gives up especially if you want to keep him as a friend.

Makes sense but all I know is what I've been around. my parents have been married for 39 years, my father's parents for 70 up until grandpa P died, my mom's mom didnt date let alone remarry after losing her hisband in ww2. I never assume anything or try to pressure someone even if I like them partly because i'm not good at opening up. trust issues & other issues about sharing things like that which might be used against you or to hurt others. I've never push sex & always look at relationships as more of a partnership & while I get jealous at times I never made a scence & accept that it will happen hoping that for whatever reason she either dumps me or brushes them off. All thats ever matter to me especially with regards to a woman I like is her happiness & time. Nothing else matters but her company. I'm always told how cute I am & how great my personality is yet it seems like I'm the one bailed on & left trying to understand where I went wrong especially if or when they come back.

A female friend of mine told me when i was enlisting in the military that she "wanted whatever I wanted & that would make me happy. You know if you do make it big you will have to share the wealth & I'm so not even playing. So what if you get a big head & have find all these women chasing you around. I would have to take you to war! And you think I'm kidding. We'll see. If you do leave especially during my birthday it will suck but your dad did this to your mom & their still together. Good luck sweety with whatever your decision brings. Love Nikki"

I admit my faults even insecurities but always believed in actions speaking louder then words espcially since she had been repeatly hurt in her past but when she asked me about my feelings & I admitted them she just bail again. I guess it just hit a button when i hear or see a guy going through something similar especially when it seems like he's a good guy & means well. It just sucks being left confused... & harder to open up next time.

Answer 1

Yes this is true we women always say we want a good man but the problem is so few of us have been with such a man or seen such relationships as examples when growing up that when we do get it we don't know how to deal with it. We feel overwhelmed and inadequate, and when a person feels that way there natural instincts tell them to run away. They don't intentionally mean to hurt that person.

Answer 2

Although i know this sucks to be avoided but i have done this before ONLY because i tried to tell this guy that my boyfriend and i was taking a break from each other but he wanted to take me to dinner and i plainly told him that i was still in love with him and not looking for a boyfriend so i did go out to dinner with him and he took that and ran with it. In the mean time my boyfriend wants to talk about us and we got back together and this guy calls to and i told him that my boyfriend and i was back together and we couldn't talk anymore. Well he went off the deep end and said I'm coming over so we can talk and i told him there's nothing to talk about because i had told him. So i left the house to avoid him which i know was the cowardly way out but he just wouldn't listen so sometimes it's hard to tell a person something that don't want to listen. In which he's not my boyfriend now anyway because I'm single and loving it right now until i meet MR. RIGHT!