See, i cannot keep bfs, ive only had one, but i am always afriad to hurt them if/when i find out they are not for me. And they already have told me they really liked me.
So i simply tend not to get close to anyone anymore. but it does get lonely. so what is wrong with me? Is it really me or them? I need both guys and gilrs' opinions please.
2007-03-10 18:06:49 · 25 answers · asked by CM 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
ok now to clear this out, im not gay, i like guys, and i am frinds with them 1st but thats when they end up telling me thy like me, or Love me! now waht?
?_? @_@
2007-03-10 18:22:10 · update #1
Ignore the lesbian accusations. Wishful thinking on the part of the lesbians in the crowd, I guarantee.
It is you - picking guys who are 'friend' material to go out with. You'd be better off just saying to the guy you date: 'Look, we like each other a lot but is there a way we can talk about what we want now so that when we break up someday, it won't be so hurtful?' Get some of that talk out of the way and then let yourself go to really enjoy each other. I think the fear of breaking up is what is behind your question. You find out they are 'not for you' but how soon do you know that? As soon as you start thinking things aren't perfect and you two are headed for breaking up at some point? Well, it's natural to date hundreds of guys in your lifetime (lesbian life is one masturbating hook up after another so we're talking less stability there, too). The one who fits in your family, loves you for who you are, wants to have a life with you, wants to share goals with you - he will come along somewhere around number 212!
2007-03-18 09:42:15 · answer #1 · answered by kathyw 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ohmgosh I do the same thing. I am either with someone 100% because they're hot (they can be man-bimbos as long as they look good.... in fact, I prefer that) or I'm with someone because I love being near them. The problem with the second option is that when they do not fall into my narrow standards, I feel so disappointed that I just want to drop them, and I'm hit with a solid guilt trip for weeks afterward. Just because I know that they like me SO much more than I like them. I don't think there's anything wrong with you.
I think you're just compassionate with a very clear picture of what you want in a boyfriend. Just remember that keeping a boyfriend you don't really like will hurt them more in the long run than if you break up with a boyfriend you don't really like.
2007-03-10 18:12:15 · answer #2 · answered by Breez 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just hang out with a group of friends. Let them all know that you are taking a break from relationships & make it clear to all the guys that you are tired of the dating scene & are not looking for a bf but you would like to be friends. It is sometimes hard to find someone you can stand to be with once you really get to know them. We also tend to be more tolerant of friends than bf's. Sounds like you just aren't ready for a relationship. Find time to do the things you enjoy doing, learn a new hobby, make new friends, take a class.
2007-03-18 17:19:13 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound just like me! The heart is very fragile, sounds like your more afraid of getting hurt then hurting them. Be friends first and see where it goes. Don't push them away because they say they like you, just tell them you want to slow down and see where it goes. The best relationships needs the ground work of being good friends first. As far as being lonely girl that is human nature! Just hold on everything will work out. When the RIGHT guy comes around there will be no hesitation I promise. You will just know!
2007-03-10 18:15:40 · answer #4 · answered by Gitana A 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only problem you have is you are affraid of a relationship. You probably are a very good girl but you dont have enough self confidence in yourself. I'm sure the right guy is out there for you somewhere, but some things just take longer than others.
2007-03-18 17:51:44 · answer #5 · answered by timothy_j_isais 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you just haven't found the right one yet,right? It's gonna be okay, one day, the perfect guy will come and you'll know it's him when you feel safe with him and if you can trust him. it's good not to easily trust guys after all, there's a lot of losers these days.
you need a good friend to talk to about these things to ease the loneliness, you can do this!:)
2007-03-10 18:11:39 · answer #6 · answered by <Xariel the Stray> 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
U know to be honest. I feel the same way. I only had 1 bf. U can date guys and see what happens. Who knows one of them could be ur bf.
2007-03-18 17:18:28 · answer #7 · answered by Erica Joyce 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im not saying youre gay, but your situation sounds similar to someone I know. They had one boyfriend and was bothered by them and broke it off. Well after that she never dated anyone again, two years later she came out saying shes gay.
2007-03-10 18:11:07 · answer #8 · answered by Princess Rach 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
seems like you have a commitment problem. you got to take the good and bad in relationships becuase its not gonna be good all the time.you just need to think about what you want in a guy and go from there. get to know them and let them know you.
2007-03-10 18:13:36 · answer #9 · answered by dizzle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the right person is out there you should never give up but whether its a man or woman, just become friends first and slowly work your way to bf, if you come to like him
2007-03-10 18:11:00 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋