I dont feel the 'butterflies in the stomach' or the 'spark' anymore..does this mean I dont love him anymore?

Question

we've been going out for almost a year...and i tell him i love him all the time, but sometimes i wonder...i do know that i want to be with him for a very long time though...plus, (sorry if this is too much info, but i need advice) i have a really hard time geting aroused when we're alone and about to do the deed...so..please help me!

Answer 1

I have been with my girlfriend for almost 5 years. Trust me on this one. The problem isn't that you don't love him. I feel you are getting comfortable together. Try this sometime. Sit next to him on the couch and just cuddle. Don't try to get him aroused just try to relax, and try to make him feel that you are completely comfortable in his arms. After about an hour of this look up at him and just start making out with him passionately. Grab his hand and move it down your body. Then follow up by doing the same to him. Let him know exactly what you want him to do. The rest can be up to you. Try not to look at him like he is the one who has been there this whole time. Try to imagine that this is yours and his first time together... Call me crazy but this still works after almost 5 years. When you are done complement him. Even if it sucks. This will boost his self-esteem and make him more willing to do more to keep it interesting.

Answer 2

The butterflies, excitement and spark are actually characteristics of "new romance". These feelings actually have very little to do with love and more to do with infatuation, exploration and discovery. The same butterflies, excitement and spark are often experienced by many during casual encounters and this has absolutely nothing to do with love. If you truly love someone then this love will carry you far past the excitement of the early days of your romance. So, just because you don't feel these things anymore doesn't mean that you don't love him. Nor does the presence of these things in the past mean that you ever did. Now is the time for some true reckoning.

Answer 3

Your problem is a W word. Wussy.

It's a curse that most men have. They slowly lose their motivation to keep you guessing what's next and being a challenge. They DON'T understand that you get turned on by the ANTICIPATION more than the actual deed.

He probably never teases you physically. He probably stopped trying to even seduce you. He probably is like "Let's have sex." His kisses are bland now and he probably stopped trying to find out what you REALLY like.

What you feel is a loss of attraction. Without it, all you have is a best friend with benefits. You need to break it off. You KNOW it. Otherwise, you will feel unfulfilled and he will see it and KNOW that it's his fault and try so hard, but to no avail. He will crash and burn because you think you can save it by staying.

You CAN explain to him like an encyclopedia how to be attractive and stuff and coach him to be perfect and mold him. Yeah... That totally works.

Sorry to be extremely harsh, but I hate those stupid romantics who believe you can change uncontrollable emotions with words. You can't. That's why they are uncontrollable!! Lol.

Fatoodles,
Franklin the Tanklin

Answer 4

You are in a sexual relationship with a man you have dated almost a year and you are probably losing the "spark" because he is not giving you a reason to keep it alive.
How does he feel about you and about your relationship? If he does not offer you the hope of a "very long time" relationship that you have stated you desire, you need to stop having sex with him and talk about the exclusivity, monogamy and longevity of your relationship during daylight hours to get some answers.

Answer 5

Yeah. You get all giddy-gah-gah. you spot him arrive on his bike and watch him commencing up his helmet and gloves and you get the butterflies and the butterflies reason you to develop right into a huge klutz and you by danger initiate dropping issues and you have this little smile on your face the great time he's there and yeah....the butterflies are telling you of their little butterfly language that he's ohhhh-soooo gorgeous :)

Answer 6

sounds like it might be time to move on. i know it's hard, and you love him, but maybe you're not "in love" with him anymore? you sound young...i dated someone from the time i was 13-19 and then we broke up. it was very hard, but it would have been easier if we'd called it quits earlier. we were just hanging onto each other because we were all we knew. there's a lot that i missed out on because this person was holding me back. hope this helps.

Answer 7

if he is doing the same old thing then you may need some for play orsomething new about him just disinterests you. What is he doing or not doingand also what are you doing or not doing? If you look at the situation Im certain you can at least pinpoint part of the problem.

Answer 8

welll i dont get butterflies either but thats for a different reason..anyways you do love him or else you woulnd t be worried that you dont just try something new and well go someplace exciting and you'll get those sparks back

Answer 9

1)need to know age to give an opined response.

howevr ,nvr one to miss oppty to bee speaken my mind and such here goe's.

18--25 time to spread your wings and giv da boy da hook. too much life to be hooked up with only one person. start finding out who u bee and wanna bee in five years.

25--35 GET your education :
A.A.
B.A.
mstrs.
Prof.
and every life experience you can think of.

mber short time here long time ded!!

Answer 10

i think you are getting bored. it doesnt mean you dnt love him though! try doing things that you two wouldnt normally do. make that spark flame up again! try different sex positions, and go out and do new things. mix it up! no onelikes a relationship that is predictable and in routine.