How can I build self confidence?

Question

I'm a girl. And i've been told i have a great body, but i hate mine, and i know its normal. But I have no self esteem. If i wear a flattering shirt (cleevage, tight) i feel like a whore and i think that people are saying stuff about me behind my back. If i wear bigger clothes, i see how everyone else looks pretty and wotnot in their tighter clothes (not homo). I also can nevr say anything right. I laugh too long at certain jokes and can't keep a conversation unless its really good. I'm too afraid to grow up that i am immature and pretty much am too uncomfortable for certain conversations so i just kinda leave them. Then I'm also annoying (told so by people) and either i talk to much or not at all. I'm an oddball and even though i'm in that awkward stage of life, i can't help but feel depressed cause i feel as tho i never fit in. It doesn't help that I have a few friends who are friends when it benefits them, and make fun of me when it makes them "look good"... idk if it works tho...

i can ruin a good moment really easily... I'm not sure how.... i just say the wong thing at the wrong time or something. Or i speak my mind, and people get mad at me. ESPECIALLY when i ask questions... like in school or anywhere... i always want a reason or explination for school related things... and people get mad at me cause i get so confused... i can't even remember anymore how many times i've cried becuase i just can't get it right

Answer 1

I know how you feel.

try surrounding yourself with friends that lift your self esteem. If your friends make fun of you later, thier probly not your friend now either. Just dont be afraid to be you! i kno it sound really cheesy, but its true!

Answer 2

You can only build self esteem only on the good things about yourself. First of all, stop being so dam critical of yourself! To hell what everyone else thinks when it comes to you talking to much, laughing to long or even the friends that call them your friends. You have to love yourself twice as much as any one else loves you! You be you! not for the people that calls them your friends the people that looks at you funny because you asked a stupid *** question. Stop wondering what the world thinks of you and how you walk, talk, wear your clothes, or even the smell of your breath. There is some point in your life when things people say about you will stop mattering. I know because I was the ugly duckling in school with the big baby new year ears! Do your thang! Hold your head up high because you are somebody whether you forgot to wash your face and a bugar is hanging out of nose or you are wearing the most expensive pair of jeans! If you have a slamming body, then work it the best of capabilities! Friends don't talk about friends when it benefits them! Drop your loser friends and find some that except you for you ! UNCONDITIONALLY! And NEVER, NEVER make fun of yourself along with your friends just to fit in! NEVER! This is the same thing that I tell my 11 yr old. Tell them to go to hell when they talk about you! But never jump on the band wagon.

Answer 3

you are going through a time in life where you feel that you most be a certain way to fit in. You must look like those aroud you and act like those around you. You don't. Just be who you are. If people don't like you for who you are then they are not your friends. People that make fun of others are actually hiding something back themselves. It is to keep oters from noticing their flaws. For example: I made fun of you today because you had on a green and red stripped shirt, but doing that no one noticed that i had on a rainbow colored hat hith brown dots on it. Do you get it now? Friends will always cheer you up and never let you down. We are all special in our own way. Also try starting your own conversation so then you will not be told that you talk to much. And if you talk too less then just say that GOD gave us one mouth to talk less with and two ears to listen more with. Good luck on your first steps in life. P.S. If you can make it through the night then there is always a brighter day.

Answer 4

The first thing you should do is recognize that you have some good qualities and stop counting your faults. You must recognize your faults so you can work at improving those areas but you are letting these things define you. No one is all bad or all good. Find the good things and work at strengthening them. What are you good at? If it is sports or cooking or whatever, find others who are also interested in the same things and you will make friends. Lastly, get some good advice from an adult regarding your clothes and maybe even some general counseling. Good luck.

Answer 5

Girl, you need to find something YOU enjoy doing, even if it's by yourself. When I start feeling dependent and the world brings me down, I just go take a road trip alone. Just getting out of my normal environment and going somewhere, I feel my indpendence. There's nothing wrong with you. Men have tried to make me feel there's something wrong with me because I speak my mind and have opinions of my own, etc. You just need to surround yourself ONLY with those who have high self esteem and are positive influences on you ... I realized I was only dating men with low self esteems and they couldnt "handle" me. Once I corrected that, I met my wonderful husband!! Surround yourself with POSITIVE influences, only those who believe in you and also, you do something nice for yourself and ONLY for you so you will come to believe in YOU! Sometimes ppl put you down bc they are jealous. You need to kick those so-called "friends" to the curb! That's the FIRST thing you need to do. Then, rise above it all by believing in yourself....try new things. If you fail, try it again if you still think you will like it ... if not, find something else interesting.......keep this up until you find out who you are and what you're about. Dont let others drag you down....thats what they want to do!! Dont give up!

Answer 6

trust me you will grow out if it but it wont be till your in your mid 20ies i know. when you get out of highschool and in to college you realise that the petty stuff dosnt matter. you want to feel accepted and unique at the same time. try going shopping and findind something you like you want and you will wear jsut becasue it makes you happy (i wore a tail every friday to school yes a real fluffy tail to highschool my senior year and omg thinking back i realise how stupid i was) to build confidence try taking up a sport and dont be afraid to go out evn if its just to people watch. you can learn a lot about how people want you to act by watching them the best form of flattery is to emulate them.

Answer 7

HI sweety,
I know how to help you. Watch the movie called the secret. It will help out soooo much i promise. Watch it, what do you have to lose?
God Bless~~

Answer 8

Change your miond about everything you wrote above then act on it. Be yourself. Anyone who can't have that in your group needs to move on.

Answer 9

join the airforce, that should do it...in 10 weeks you'll have everything you need...much self confidence...you can put that in the bank.

Answer 10

I think your starting to understand that maybe looks aren't everything and there might be more that meets the eye. Looks are great but the real stuff we are all made of is on the inside. After all that is where confidence is from is it not? The Bible says: * “Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet Spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.” (1 Peter 3:3-4) Me Personally my confidence comes from the fact that I know that am valued and loved! Know matter what people say or what someone may think of me I know that God and Jesus are on my side, they value and love me so that is all that matters because Jesus and God payed the ultimate price for my imperfectness, sin and my bad choices in life. To know no matter what they love me. I tell you what a confidence builder to have hope and faith in something higher that yourself! because what faith do I have in myself for I always seem to say the wrong things, am so easy to get angry at people that have hurt me in my present and my past, It so easy to for me to think of ways to seek revenge and its so hard for me to forgive. But I know that Jesus the Son of God was perfect, he was slow to get angry, he never said the wrong things, he never sot revenge but he continued to have forgiveness for all and expressed love to all. In time he took my and every ones imperfectness and sin on himself! All for the love of people like you and me! The Bible tells the story: You see Jesus was flogged or beaten over 40 times, as Jesus stood silent, he was humiliated, degraded, mocked, striped naked, had jammed a crown of thorns on this head and was then nailed to a cross only after he had walked nearly a mile with a heavy crossbeam to his back! Why? You ask: The Bible answers that? For you have been called for this purpose, since Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example for you to follow in his steps, Jesus who committed no sin, nor was any deceit found in his mouth; and while being reviled, he did not revile in return; while suffering, He uttered no threats, but kept entrusting himself to him who judges righteously. (1 Peter 2:21-23) Christ hung on the cross for six hours before he died, He was there from nine in the morning until three in the afternoon. In spite of such enormous discomfort and indescribable pain, Jesus ONLY spoke words of genuine forgiveness to those who affiliated so much pain and anger to him! From the cross Jesus Spoke: "Father, forgive them; for they do not know what they are doing." What? I know if that where me I would be very angry and not be forgiving men for doing all that to me! But, the fact is the Jesus was God in Human form so Jesus was and is perfect, he died for are imperfectness, sin and are suffering and this constant lack of confidence we all lose once in a while in are life! Know that lack of confidence is not how people or how you see yourself based on what is on the outside. But it should be how you see yourself on the inside. For the Bible says: The Lord does not not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.(1 Samuel 16:7) The Bible also talks about confidence as with having confidence in God when your afraid of what people think your say because God is your helper! (Heb. 13:5-6) God has said, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you"(Deut. 31:6). So we say with CONFIDENCE,"The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?(Ps. 118:6-7) I don't know about you but that really cheers me up and drives me to be the best I can because the fact is I can NEVER pay the full price for what God has already payed in full for Me! That is why I know when I lose my confidence in life, I give what ever is bothering me to Jesus! And he always comes though! In Addition to what I have said I would like to recommend a great book to you for finding purpose and always finding inter-confidence in yourself when you rely on Jesus and God to supply it. The Book is Joel Osteen's Your Best Life Now, 7 Steps to living at your full potential. In closing let me read to you what is on page 3, chapter 1 that might hit home to what I been saying. Joel Osteen Says: "We have to conceive it on the inside before we're ever going to receive it on the outside. If you don't think you can have something good, than you never will. The barrier is in your mind. It's not God's lack of resources or your lack of talent that prevents you from prospering. Your own wrong thinking can keep you from God's best."
Page 4 continues: "Enlarge your vision. You must start looking at life through eyes of faith, seeing yourself rising to new levels."