He was taking care of everything financially and was there for your child before you and him had yours together, he got on your nerves quite a bit but he was doing everything so you dont have to work even if you didn't have feelings for him anymore? we just had a kid together and I feel like she doesn't have it for me anymore, is it supposed to be like this after you have a child or am I tripping? Im not trying to be selfish cause i know the kids come first but what about us? shouldn't there still be romance even though its alot of work?
2007-03-10 16:34:25 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
everything changes after the baby is born. of course a father should be taking care of his son and making it possible for his wife to actually mother their child. that's about putting your child first, which is what it's all about now.
The adjustment to a new baby is tremendous - the couple's commitment to their relationship and to raising their child right helps them negotiate these strange new seas. The mom learns she loves this baby more than anything, deeper than she every imagined possible. She must orient her life to caring for this child (if she's functioning normally) and the relationship between the parents gets reshaped.
Find your way. Who has energy for romance when there's a new baby... No one who's parenting right.
2007-03-10 16:39:36 · answer #1 · answered by t jefferson 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
What you are experiencing is low marital satisfaction which is very common after the birth of a child and often gets its lowest at about 6 months. I would hang in there because like I said it is extremely common. Since it doesnt seem like you are in the finicial position to leave anyway... I think it is important that you and her ride it out for your sake and your child's. Romance will come in go in a relationship. True intamacy is deeper than romance. It is friendship. Do you think you grandparents are extemely romantic? Probably not... but they still love eachother because of the deep friendship. Best of luck.
2007-03-11 00:43:16 · answer #2 · answered by Emily A 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
OK, as a woman, I need to let you in on a little secret. We feel really shitty after we have a baby. You need to make her feel special and pretty in everyway! Do not think of it as "alot of work" If it is a lot of work, then you are doing it for the wrong reasons. You need to WANT to please your wife. She just gave birth to your child. That is a f@#% trophy. She wants to be romantic, but you have got to show her that she is the most important thing to you right now. She is probably feeling self-contious with all the extra baby fat on her right now. You need to tell her that she looks good no matter what! If you don't do it, some other guy will!
2007-03-11 00:43:11 · answer #3 · answered by nelly 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Becoming a first time mother is overwhelming mentally and physically, I'm sure the passion is still on but it takes time. I can't tell if a lady or guy wrote this but the sparks could be there just need to get them restarted. Good luck!!!
2007-03-11 00:43:50 · answer #4 · answered by Cam 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't worry about it. You just got demoted from #1 on her list. It will get better shortly.
2007-03-11 00:42:50 · answer #5 · answered by johN p. aka-Hey you. 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋