Please HELP!!! Parents......Please Answer?

Question

I want think I have Gender Identity Disorder(GID). Im a guy that wants to be woman and im 17. Please help me with how I can tell my parents this, I need there support and love. Please Help Im Really Really Depressed, thoughts of suicide. No rude responses please. Thanks for the help.

Answer 1

If you were my son, and you told me this...I would accept you, because if you are unhappy with your Gender ID, I would accept you as you because I would rather you lose your gender, than lose you as my child.

Answer 2

Hi Jesse!

Hey...you're only 17. I would suggest that first of all, you seek counseling. 17 is a very hard age...and before you do anything rash, get some help.

Gender identity can be especially tough at your age. You may be right... and you may eventually seek sexual re-assignment, but before you make up your mind for sure, talk with some people who have had the same feelings about their gender/sexuality, or that have already made the changeover. See what their experience has been like, and if they felt it was worth what they have been through, medically & socially.

What makes you think you have GID? Do you not have ANY attraction to women? Have you had someone (male) in your life, possibly a relative or close friend of the family, seduce you? If so, are you possibly feeling guilty about it, or do you just not have any desire to be with a woman of your own accord?

You really should go to your parents with this. Maybe your mother first. Are your parents understanding about this sort of sensitive thing? How do they feel about homosexuality? If you don't feel you can tell your folks, seek help at a free clinic.

Whatever you do, don't struggle with this yourself. You need someone you can talk to about this. It's NOT the end of the world...all problems can be solved one way or the other. What you have to do is be sure of yourself before you do anything major.

Hope you find your answers, Jesse. Good luck!

Answer 3

Don't tell your parents anything. Tell your parents that you really need to see a therapist because you think you are unhappy beyond normal teenage unhappiness. Get into therapy and explore your feelings there. That's such a serious change that you will need therapy every step of the way. It's a shame that there are so many influences in our society that want to exploit your feelings (I'm thinking that Gay advocacy groups would love to exert their influences on you.) It is possible that you could be the kind of sensitive person who will be valued whatever relationship you are in, defying stereotypes but you have limited role models right now. Therapy can help you sort that all out. Try to resist pressure from everyone and that includes gay groups - and yes, religious groups and even women. You will know what you feel comfortable with when you find a good relationship and that takes time for ANYbody. So relax and give yourself time. The problems that come with changing gender (disappointment is devastating when you've been carried along and pushed and prodded. thinking you lack a 'macho' gene and this is the answer when it is not.)
Good luck!

Answer 4

Jesse,
I have many friends who are gender dysphoric and I know how frightening and confusing it is. Good on you for realizing what you are and for having the courage to post it here! Acknowledging who you really are is a huge step!

First, you need to see someone. Call a suicide hotline, go see your school councillor, anyone who can get you some support. You need to be diagnosed. This will make it a lot easier to tell your parents.
Second, it is possible that your parents already know. A lot of gender dysphoria comes from sex assignment at birth--where a child is of indeterminant sex and the doctor basically choses for them. I don't know if this has happened to you or not, but your parents probably do.
Third, be aware that your parents may not be educated on this. It will be hard for them to take, especially if they are conservative or religious. Part of any talk with them will be explaining that this is a MEDICAL condition and not something that you choose or control. You were simply born in the wrong body, and you want to correct it. That's why I said earlier that being diagnosed was important. That is the first step towards sex reassignment. Also, it gives you a fall back--now its not just your opinion, but a professionals.

Finally, don't get too down. This is so hard, I know. If you need support, reach out to many of the gender-communities out there. The most popular is transter.com but I'm sure there are others. (((hugs)))) You are not alone!

Answer 5

No reason to feel that way. You are who you are. What concerns me however is the depressive and sucidal thoughts. The fact that you already have the term GID shows that you have done some research already on the subject, and that's a good first step. What I would suggest for you now would be to talk to someone who knows more about that subject in a professional manner who could help hook you up with others who can guide you from having lived through the feelings and experiences themselves. The Girls and Boys Town National Hotline, 1-800-448-3000 is a 24 hour FREE hotline where you can be referred to someone in your area who can help. They're also discreet. Good luck and keep us posted! I'll send positive thoughts your way!

Answer 6

There's no need for such drastic thoughts as suicide. Nothing is that bad. The first thing you should do is get some psychological counseling to make sure this is really what your issue is. Start out by telling your parents you need to talk to a counselor, tell them you are confused, and depressed, and feel you need help. Let them help you find someone to talk to. You don't have to tell them your diagnosis, which is currently only a guess, until a professional has determined what it really is. Then your counselor can guide you on how to break it to them.

Answer 7

I don't have an answer as to how, but your parents love you, no matter what! So please don't consider suicide an option anymore, your parents would rather have a son living as a woman than be burying their 17 year old child. Talk to them and tell them how you feel, even your thoughts of suicide, they will want to help you, after they get over the shock and hurt they may initially feel.

Answer 8

Oh darlin', I'm sorry! I know some parents can be awful about this. Just sit them down and be honest. If they freak out, dont worry, they probably just need time to adjust to the news. I am a mother, and I would always be there for my child, even if I didnt like what they had to say. Your dad will probably need more time to adjust, so please don't give up and don't result to suicide.

See if there is some kind of support group in your area for this, or call the local gay and lesbian rights center. You are not the only one with this problem, reach out for help to others who have been there.

Answer 9

Okay, it would be REALLY hard but just talk to them about it but bring up the situation of it casually... then tell them you may have it. They may deny it at first, but you probably would be able to get their support after they think about it. I would talk to some sort of counselor or psychiatrist to make sure that you have GID first before you tell your parens you're certain you have it. Then, ask them if you can see a psychiatrist that deals with transgender issues so you can find out if you are or not.

Answer 10

I think the best way is to sit down with them and start out by letting them know that you have something that will be difficult to tell them. Let them know you love them and respect them, and that you need their love and understanding. Let them know you have struggled with telling them and thought that is was best that they knew because you didn't want to feel alone and want some help. Let them know of the issue that you are facing, but be prepared that it is something they may not want to hear and they may get angry or upset. It does not mean that they do not love you, it means they do not understand how to respond. Be willing to get some counselling. Let your parents know that you are open to the option. A good therapist will be able to help you identify whether you are just confused or if you truly have the disorder. Many times during the teenage years we get "confused" about who we are. It may be due to influences around us, hormones, curiosity, etc. Be open to advice and let your parents work with you. Involving them may difficult, but it is even more difficult to hold things inside out of fear. Suicide is not the answer- it would be more hurtful to your parents and friends to loose you than it would to let them know you are hurting and need some help. People are a lot more understanding and loving than we give them credit for- and it usually lifts a load just to have even one other person know of your struggles. Good luck! I wish you all the best!

Answer 11

Tell them. Of course you need their support and love. If they are REAL parents then they will provide that no matter what. A parent's love and support should not be conditional. If they do put conditions on their love then you are honestly better off without them in the long run. I know this from personal experience. I haven't faced an issue quite like what you are facing but my own parents, particularly my father, placed conditions on their love. I had to live up to certain expectations or I wasn't worthy. I was not given the freedom to just be me. I am estranged from my dad. Instead I've surrounded myself with good friends who I can count on and who are more like family than my own family. I hope things work with your parents but if they don't then surround yourself with good friends. Find a support group. Good luck to you!