Do parent have control over you when you are already 20?

Question

If you passed 18 years, then you are free from home right?

Answer 1

as long as you live with them then they can boss you around as much as they want, you ain't payin the bills or putting food on the table, you can move out, but belive me you will be needing them in the long run...

Answer 2

At age 20 you are going to need a little gentle role reversal here. Treat your mother with the kind of respect and patience you WISH she ahd always treated you with when she was training you in things like performing household chores without prompting or accepting that the household budget just wasn't to cover that 'must have' item all your friends had. Ask gentle, probing, open ended questions like "Did you expect to be back home at some particular time? Why did you expect that? Is there something I can do so that you won't be so upset when I stay out late?" Notice that "well just don't stay out late" isn't one of the option you make available to mom. If mom is in a position where she feels like she has no control at all over what is going on under he own roof, she is going to be a resentful lady, looking for things to gripe about. If she feels that you have consulted her to negotiate a compromise, she is much more likely to accept that compromise in good faith. She no longer has the kind of authority she had when you were 16. But since you are living under her roof, you do have a certain obligation to keep her somewhat informed about your doings so that she doesn't worry. Even when you are 45 and she is 65, she will still worry if you go the the supermarket and are gone more than an hour. To her, you will always be a helpless 3 year old. That will never change, so just mellow out and prepare to deal with another 40 or 50 years of it. If I had to sum all this up, it would be "You're going to have to play the adult here and find a kind, adult way to keep this from developing into a power struggle between you and mom."

Answer 3

I'll try to be objective. It is a myth that parents' power only applies until one is 18. In reality, it applies as long as one is dependant on their parents. If one lives at home with them, that counts as dependant on them. Because it's their house. If they pay all, or at least most of the expenses, the bills, etc., that counts as dependant on them. Their power does not end when one turns 18. It ends when one moves out and supports oneself. One's age makes NO difference. One's age alone doesn't matter. Even if you did not live at home, say, if you lived in an apartment, and they helped pay your rent, they'd still have leverage on you. So, all things considered, you live at home with them, and they're paying the bills. As long as this is the case, there's pretty much nothing you can do. No matter what your age is. As long as this is the case, they will continue to have the right to boss/veto you. When you move out, and support yourself, then their power over you will stop, thus allowing you to be your own boss. But until then, they will remain boss, not you. Oh, you'll have more priviledges at 18 than you did before, but as I say, being 18 and/or beyond will not free you from your parents' power. Only moving out and supporting yourself will.

Answer 4

Let me put this bluntly - whether you are 14 or 40, your parents will never let you go. They brought you up and still have a full right to know what you do. However, they also know that you are an adult now and know how to make good decisions. So you may consider yourself to have gained a level of independence from your parents in that you can now make your own choices in life. But they'll always be on hand to help you in anyway they can throughout their lifetime.

Answer 5

If you still live at home you still have to go by the rules your parents set for you. But at 20 you should aleady be living on your own- no matter if it is in a dorm at college or in your own place. At that point you can do what you want. You are an adult at that time.

If you let your parents run your life after that point you have serious problems.

Answer 6

i have friends who would kick your butt just by asking this question,what right have you got for questioning the authority of your parents in the first place? if they do not harm your wants and bruise your ego, then why would you want to be free from them? okey, here's something you should think of... you have a new job, found a new place, with a good looking girl in tow, you want to get married, who you gonna call, your grandma? if they want to control you up to know, they mean well or
maybe you are doing something that they know is not good for you at the moment so they are there and you resent them just for being around? think about what you are doing now and if it's bad then stop and listen to them once in while..i was once like you, oh it did me good to be away from home! but my only regret is my parents were no longer around when i came back, how did that make me feel? EMPTY. i wish i listened to them more when they were there for me...

Answer 7

You're right. If you're over 18 you are legally an adult. If you are still living at home at 20 you're pretty much a loser. GTFO and give your poor parents a break already.

Answer 8

When you turn 18 years old you are responsible for your own self. Your mom & dad can not make you stay at home. It is good if you are wanting to be own your own. But at less go by are call home at less a couple time's a week.

Answer 9

Parents should be there to guide their children, not control them! The parental guidance should not stop at any age, I am 33 and I still listen to constructive guidance from my parents :) As an individual we possess free-will to use or lose the guidance that is offered, whether it be from parents or friends.

Answer 10

YES. when my son turned 19, the doctors office wouldnt even tell me things about my son, because he was legal age, I think it is 18, but if you are graduated from HS< you legally can move out. but ask youself this question, are you really ready to be on your own. if you live home no matter what age, you need to respect your parents rules.

Answer 11

If your asking if you can leave and make your own decisions when your 18 teen then yeah! The only way your parents can have control over you after your 18teen is if you let them and I don't suggest you let them. That never turns out good!




GOOD LUCK!