I dont know what to do this could be life changing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?

Question

i dont know what to do,i am 16 and the thing is i have been thinking about going to live with my dad because i really hate my mums boyfriend, mostly because he is violent towards me and i also feel somehow he has turned my mum against me because before he came me and my mum were really close but now we're always shouting at each other, and i HATE him for that too, so i was thinking of moving in wid my dad but he has a drink problem and when he is drunk he is not a nice preson to be around
what do u think i should do?

Answer 1

report thye b/f to the police. you may wish to tel your mum before or after you do this. but as he's violent prob best to do after.
she's prob rowing with you more as she knows deep down how unhappy you are and feels guilty. maybe shes too afraid of him to stand up to him, in which case shes being weak but as a former battered wife i know how hard it can be. but its no excuse, i got out of it and so can she. call women's refuges and ask for advice, also citizens advice, childline etc. get al the support you can, maybe from school too.do you have grandparents/aunties/best friend with understanding parents you can stay with until your mum comes to senses and chucks him out? this should be your 1st step. it will save you being beaten up and maybe give the kick up the bum your mum needs to see how awful your position is.
once moved out to somewhere safe, call your dad. tell him you need him more than he needs the bottle. ideally you should eb able to live with him but tell him altho you know this you cant till he gets help form AA and quits. tell him why you left home.
then sit back once contacted authourities, and let the adults sort themselves out. they have all let you down. that must feel terrible. ask for counselling, its really helps get all that angst out.
congrats for taking control by being brave enough to come on here for help.
its a shame that a 'child' has to this, but at least you are showing responsibility and maturity by asking for help.
please keep me informed . email me if you want, i have daughters near your age and i'd like to help in some small way.
keep strong. you're a fab person and deserve better. remember that. you'll get your 'real' mum back soon, though there may be a rocky road ahead before you get there.
good luck luv

Answer 2

Stay with your mum honey! It must be really difficult to have to share your mum with her new partner but you will get through this.At the end of the day she is your mum and she loves you, but that doesn't mean that she cant have an adult relationship with a man too.Her partner probably feels awkward having to share her with you,and he will also get used to this. You are 16 and in the process of growing into an adult so whatever happens in life at this time can be a struggle coz your hormones are all over the place.Try to get on with mum's partner if only for her sake, she will be a lot happier and probably shout less at you if you try to get on with him,and in the meantime you yourself will feel happier too. I think if you moved in your dad who has a drink problem this would be a big mistake, coz you would have problems of a different sort there.Stay with mum and work on your relationship, im sure things will get better for you if you do.Good luck!

Answer 3

I think dat u should speak 2 both of ur parents. No offence or anything, but after all u wouldn't be in this mess if it wasn't 4 them!!! Maybe u could av talked 2 ur mum or moved 2 ur dad, but it doesn't seem possible now. Tell them how u feel, they'll realize they're letting u down and u'll find a way forward.
But if ur a coward like me maybe u should phone some 1 like the authorities or a relative and talk 2 them about it!!
Either way u av 2 do something (and dat does not include movin 2 ur dad's or staying quiet)
GOOD LUCK!!!

Answer 4

This is tough. First of all, report the boyfriend to the authorities. There is no reason he should be assaulting you. Just keep in mind that your mom could get in trouble also if she knew about the boyfriend's violent tendencies and didn't try to do anything about it. See if you can find an aunt, uncle, cousin or someone who has your best interest at heart, to stay with. The situation with your dad is not stable either, so I would try to stay away from that. also, you may want to tell your dad about what is going on. Maybe that may cause him to slow down on the drinking. It is imperative that you get out of that situation immediately. You will be going to college soon, so stay focused on your schooling because then you can live on campus away from all the drama.

Answer 5

If this boyfriend is violent, you should report him to the authorities. That will not improve your relationship with your mother, at least in the short run, but it may saveyour life. Moving to your dad's doesn't sound like a viable alternative, so getting the boyfriend out of the house would be the only choice.

Answer 6

you could tell your mum what you are considering doing give it time see if it changes things. if not tell your dad that you want to live with him but he has to give up the drink. it would be good for both of you he would have a reason to quit drink and you will have somone to love and look after you. it could be an oppertunity for you both for a new start. good luck

Answer 7

hi.i'm a mom to 2 teenage girls,my oldest being 16 and separated from their dad, i would like to say that i know your at a difficult age.hormones,things changing in your life,school,friends,boyfriends,etc.have you tried going out with your mom?just you and her??told her how you feel???if she still doesnt HEAR what your saying,you should go and live with another family member.i wont refer your dad as you dont deserve any abuse in any way,shape or form.have you talked to your dad about how you feel about his drinking???if he admits to having a problem,tell him you love him and you want to help him as you need him as much as he needs you.same with your mom.if she admits that you could be right,tell her you want to stay with her,because you love her,but,you cant because her bf is too abusive.if neither is going to do the right thing,i hope that you have another relative that you can count on.i hope things work out for you.this is a difficult enough time for you with all the changes happening and you dont need the extra hassle when it CAN be avoided by your parents putting you first,not a boyfriend or the bottle.

Answer 8

I think you should talk to your mom and tell her how you really feel, remind her of how things were before he came into your life.

I would suggest family counseling before taking the other option.

Good Luck and God Bless.

Answer 9

talk to some one at your school like a counselor tell them the situation, You probably do need to get away from such a situation but going to your dad may not be the best choice, do you have any other family you could talk to and stay with?

Answer 10

You should call Child Protective Services on your mother's boyfriend. Is there an aunt or a grandparent you could live with?