I need a really good joke!!! badly and really soon. mayb blonde jokes.( not trying to insult n e one)?

Question

im sooooooo bored. bored to tears. I'm talkin' hallairious! don't mind my spelling. please, anything

Answer 1

Two blondes were on opposite sides of the river. One blonde yells to the other...."How do I get to the other side?" The other blonde responds...."Like duh...your already there"

Answer 2

Well, you said blonde joke...

Legend has it that there is a bar in New York where, in the ladies room, there is a very special mirror. If one stands in front of the mirror and tells the truth, one is granted a wish. However, if one tells a lie... Poof. They are instantly swallowed up by the mirror, never to be seen again.

Sooooo, a redhead of questionable looks walks into the ladies room, stands before the mirror and says, "I think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world." Poof. The mirror swallows her.

Next, a rather large brunette stands before the mirror and says, "I think I'm the sexiest woman alive." Poof. The mirror swallows her.

Then, an absolutely gorgeous blonde comes in and stands before the mirror and says, "I think..." Poof.

Answer 3

A blonde, brunette and a red -haired went to the desert.Sometime passed and there was no gas in the car.Since the brunette had seen a sign saying 10miles to their destination, they decided to walk the rest of the distance..They decided that each of them will carry something or the other. The brunette said:I will carry food in case we get Hungry.
The redhead said:I will carry water in case we get thirsty.
The blonde kept thinking for a while and finally said:I will carry the window of the car.
The other two asked:Why?
The blonde said:In case we feel hot, we can roll it down.!!!

another one-bengali is the only language in which you eat water.

heres a blonde joke-
A blonde was driving past a garden in illinoi when she saw another blonde rowing a boat in the middle of the garden. The blonde in the car called out to the other one:Its the kind of blondes like you which spoil our reputation. If i knew how to swim, I'd dive in their and get ya out!!!

Answer 4

How do you drown a blonde? Put a scratch n sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.

Whats a blonde say after sex? Are you all on the same team?

How does a blonde turn the light on after sex? Opens the car door.

Why do blondes wear hoop earrings? Leg rests.

Answer 5

A blonde calls her boyfriend and says.........






"Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get it started."

Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"
The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger."

Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets
him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table. He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger"

He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then "

He sighed................ "Let's put all the Frosted Flakes back in the box."

Answer 6

A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and stops to entertain at a bar in a small town. He's going through his usual run of silly blonde jokes when a big blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and says,
"OK jerk, I've heard just about enough of your denigrating blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What do a person's physical attributes have to do with their worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in my community, of reaching my full potential as a person...
because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes but women at large... all in the name of humor."
Flustered, the ventriloquist begins to apologize, when the blonde pipes up, "You stay out of this mister, I'm talking to that little fuc ker on your knee!"

Answer 7

You know how a minister will go and visit old people that can't make it to church ? Well, there was a minister that went toy a old Lady's house to talk to her. There was a bowel of peanuts sitting out on the table, The man was just eating them as he was talking to the lady . He said " I hope you don't mind me eating your peanuts." She said " oh, that's OK . I just suck all the chocolate off them anyway"

ha ! Ha!

Answer 8

As a trucker stops for a red light, a blonde catches up. She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door. The trucker lowers the window, and she says "Hi, my name is Heather and you are losing some of your load."

The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street.

When the truck stops for another red light, the girl catches up again. She jumps out of her car, runs up and knocks on the door. Again, the trucker lowers the window. As if they've never spoken, the blonde says brightly,
"Hi my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!"

Shaking his head, the trucker ignores her again and continues down the street .

At the third red light, the same thing happens again.

All out of breath, the blonde gets out of her car, runs up, knocks on the truck door. The trucker rolls down the window. Again she says "Hi, my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!"

When the light turns green the trucker revs up and races to the next light.

When he stops this time, he hurriedly gets out of the truck, and runs back to the blonde.

He knocks on her window, and after she lowers it, he says...
"Hi, my name is Kevin, it's winter in New Hampshire and I'm driving the SALT TRUCK!"

Answer 9

If Barbie was real, theres only one thing about her that would be in proprtion and correct:

































































































Her empty, blonde head