Fellow atheists: could you get seriously involved with a religious person?

Question

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20070310194346AA6X3zF&r=w#BYNMU1f2DlH_Wk5AMPWH

I find I could not. So many things about religious bother me as a whole. Like the irrational, uncontrolled state of mind Christians have at times (as seen in above link) and

also things like the religious person putting a mystical figure who is yet to be proven as real and long deceased religious figures in front of me, their friends, families and loved ones.

How do my fellow atheists feel about this?

Am I too extreme in my thoughts about this, do you think?

Answer 1

I had a girlfriend with a Christian upbringing. She had stopped going to church, and "talking to God", but then she got anxious. Her Mom told her she was getting anxiety because she had moved in with before marriage. Sigh. Turns out she had just been anxious for being dependant on our love (something I had learned not to do in a previous relationship) and she felt better after she told me that she had a habit of becoming whatever the man wanted of her (something I must note I notice, but rarely exploited) and of course breaking up with me. But she thought it was her reconnection to "God" that made her better, and while I respected her decision to be on her own for awhile, something I think she needed, she became weird. Now I can't even talk to her, and it seems she mostly hangs out with religious types. I tried arguing religion with her, after trying to become Christian with her, cause first i was like "maybe God did heal her and make her happy." So I gave it a try, I must have looked stupid saying out loud soem of the stuff to get "connected with God." At first i felt a little better, but slowly I just realized that I was doing it, and the slight belief in something that could help me felt good.

Then i read the Bible, ah man have you read this thing?

But to answer your question, not a Christian, and probably not most religions, no.

Answer 2

I can only give you my personal experience.
I am an atheist of some 53 years standing. I find the whole religion/god nonsense to be totally ridiculous.
However, I met a girl/woman whose character was just what I needed (and still do). A wonderful Filipina lady. After some time, we married.
We married in a civil ceremony.
She is a Born Again Christian. It really is not her fault, as childhood indoctrination by her parents is the real cause.
I took the time to explain how religion is caused, how stupid it all is and how it is perpetuated but, at her age, the dogma is too deeply entranched.
So, with all forms of religion banned from our house (well, there have to be some sensible rules) she can go to her church if she wishes and I will even take her there and pick her up afterwards. We no longer discuss religion. We just live our lives with no religious content whatsoever and that's just fine and dandy.
That said, she has a 23 yo daughter, who, understandably, was also indoctrinated, by her mother.
The daughter and I have had long talks about the folly of believing in a non-existent entity and, being a lot younger AND better educated, she is now an agnostic. She will get promoted to atheism in due time.
Therefore, my example shows that opposites can co-exist, provided that there are some ground rules.
To further outline my situation, I am living in the Philippines, where Catholicism was forced (upon pain of death it were not accepted and the Spanish have a LOT to answer for!!)upon the native people some hundreds of years ago. A poor country, riddled with corruption and endangered by earthquakes, typhoons, volcanic eruptions, muslim terrorism and a huge crime rate. Religion flourishes in such circumstances.

I didn't go to your link. So tiresome to do so. I wish people would simply copy and paste to save time (where this is possible).
A good question, though, and a situation that does crop up, more among young people perhaps. In my case, I was 60 and she was 49. One learns tolerance at a later age?

Answer 3

Yes, because I think that as an atheist, my relationship would not be determined by my girlfriend's religion. My girlfriend right now is a baptists, and does not care what I am. You're making it harder than it already is, all you have to know is that religions should not be a factor in a relationship. I feel it's easy, simply because it does not come up. As atheists, we have to sometimes come to terms that we cannot juged those with religious backgrounds.
Sorry your one relationship did not work out, but don't be quick to assume you can never date a religious person again. Remember, love conquers all things, it's what makes people do the crazy **** they do, and if you fall in love with a religious person, and they love you back, religion will not be a factor.

Answer 4

funny you bring that up. I am an ex christian and all my friends and family are christians and do not know any different. They do not accept my beliefs and act like i am going through a phase. They judge me and evaluate all situations i am in with the christian sexist conservative judgemental way and even though i previously thought i could deal with it, it is becoming a huge elephant in the room that we can no longer ignore (at least I can no longer ignore) Being with these people who do not acknowledge my beliefs just makes me feel dead, i can't be myself around them, it suffocating. On the other hand, one of my new best friends is a christian, albeit not very religious but we have lot of other things in common and whenever we bring up religion, we disagree so we do not go there. But the important thing is that i can be myself around him. I have given alot of thought to if i could have a serious relationship with a christian. I haven't tried it but it's been on my mind alot lately because 99% of the people i meet are theists

Answer 5

Once upon a time way back in the day, I dated a youth minister. Well, he ended up trying to brainwash me and afterwards he drove me up into the woods and screwed my brains out. fortunately, after that I realized what a freak he was and I never dated a religious man again. I know that people will say that I can't blame every religious person for the actions of one, but that was enough for me, I'll stick with atheists from now on.

Answer 6

I completely agree with you. For the most part I am open minded and certainly don't need to find a mate that is exactly like me, but there is no way I would be able to get involved with a religious person. I have very strong atheist beliefs that would even rub moderate religious folk the wrong way.

Answer 7

It depends on how religious the person is.

If they are at the level that they feel the need to convert everyone around them and speak to me in a condescending way just because I disagree, then I would be unable to. I just wouldn't be able to put up with such a level of untolerance.

However, if they can keep their religious opinions out of normal conversation and can at least attempt to see my side of the argument without alluding to me being intellectually bereft, then I'd probably be able to get involved. Sure, I would probably have to skirt topics on religion just for the sake of time and breath, but at least I would know that it wouldn't randomly be brought up at any time.

Answer 8

I fell in love before I knew he was an Christian. He's not one of the types you see here - he's actually sane. And I am not put second, cause he knows I'll kick his a$$ if he tries that. We just do not discuss religion. Simple as that. We both have other, more important things to deal with, like the rent, the electric bill, etc.

Answer 9

Yes, I do think you are too extreme. Being an atheist means that you don't believe in god, but that is your belief. You should be open to what other people feel and let them have their thoughts. Being involved with someone who believes in religion shouldn't be a problem. It's only a problem if you make it a problem. Just don't laugh at their ideas, and they shouldn't put you down for yours. It's no difference than two people of two different religions getting together. That's basically what it is. Let things flow, don't limit yourself in a relationship, it's more than religion that makes love.

Answer 10

Sure, calm down. The entire world, religious and non religious, is full of nonsense and stupid believes. Be happy with yourself and ignore the thinks that bother you. That's all.