I find it nearly impossible to forgive people for the smallest things..am i wrong?

Question

Some people don't deserve to be forgiven...

Answer 1

If you cannot forgive people, then you probably also find it hard to forgive yourself. Do you deserve to be forgiven? Everyone does things they regret. We would find life hard if we continuously dwelt on our errors and didn't get on with life by forgiving ourselves. Forgive yourself first and you will be able to forgive others.

Answer 2

Forgiveness is an interesting thing. It comes in its own time, meaning you can't force it. I agree that there are things people do that are difficult to forgive, but ultimately by holding onto it - you're only hurting yourself. Letting it go isn't easy either. I think what it comes down to is the pain of having someone hurt you will eventually lessen- but like most wounds it can't be forgotten completely. There's always the memory.

So maybe the question is - do we ever truly forgive the really painful wrongs people have done to us? I don't think so. I think anyone who claims to have completely forgiven a serious transgression against them (especially anything recent) is deluding themselves. Maybe they've moved past it, but when they think about it I'm betting it still hurts.

Answer 3

The problem is that as long as you don't forgive, you are bound to the person who offended you.

Forgiveness is a gift to others (and one that no one deserves), but it is also a gift to yourself. It sets you free of the burden of your anger, resentment and pain that unforgiveness causes you.

That being said, forgiveness is not saying that what someone did was okay. It doesn't mean that you necessarily restore trust if someone has broken it (especially if they are not doing something to show that they have changed or really repented). And it is a process. It's a decision you make to let things go, but if the other person keeps bringing it up, or if you are reminded from time to time and it hurts, you make the choice to let it go again.

Forgiveness is releasing someone from the debt of "making it up to you." It is the acknowledgment that it isn't really humanly possible to undo the damage. So you let go of that expectation.

It's not glossing over what someone has done. And I don't believe it's forgetting. With some people, you may need to remember past events, in order to see patterns of behavior and address them.

But there is a difference between being aware of the past and dwelling on it. Dwelling on it leaves you stuck reliving the painful event. Forgiveness frees you to move on.

Answer 4

I won't enter into right or wrong, but I will suggest that not forgiving people means that you carry them around with you. Forgiving doesn't benefit them as much as it benefits you. Once you've forgiven someone you can let go of all the resentment and feelings of righteous indignation and focus on living your life in a much more rewarding and pleasant way.

Answer 5

Yes, you are wrong. The Bible says in John 20:22-23
22" And when He had said this, He breathed on them, and said to them, “Receive the Holy Spirit. 23 If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven them; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained.” This verse is basically saying that if you forgive you will be forgiven. If you don't forgive you won't be forgiven.

Answer 6

Everyone deseres to be forgiven. I know sometimes it is extremely hard or even impossable. You shoul talk to the person and be very mature about it. Dont yell or get angry. Try to understand where there coming. Listent to what there saying and ask questions. Not as if you know what they did. You could be completely wrong. Dont forget to breathe. I know that kinda sounds stupid but when i'm pissed or just cant hand a situation i sometimes forget to breathe. Good luck :]

Answer 7

You are very wrong. You must forgive all, and let God judge. He will forgive those whom he will forgive, but you must forgive every one or you will be judged by the same standards that you set for others. If you cannot forgive people of small things he will not be able to forgive you of small things. How sad would that be if your Glory in Heaven were diminished or denied over something small?

Answer 8

Your concept maybe correct, But there is something that you should take into consideration. You do more damage to yourself by not forgiving who ever it is that has done you wrong.

Researchers have found that harboring unforgiveness can lead to heart disease, cancer, early aging, dementia and the break down of your own immune system. If nothing else forgive them, go on live your life and don't have anything else to do with them. Save yourself from their bad influence on your life, so that you can live long and prosper! Forgive them.

Answer 9

There is no right and wrong in wether you forgive someone or not,you are the one carrying the burden of choosing not to forgive so therefore you are more negatively effected by it,because if they have a healthy outlook on life they are going to walk tall,smile and go on about their day 5 minutes after you have chosen not to forgive them.Its not your job to play god,let it go.

Answer 10

Yes, in two ways. First you are guilty of pride. (That person did or does something I do not like). Second, you are guilty of not obeying God's command to forgive seventy times seven if need be.

As to whether or not a person deserves to be forgiven is determined by God's heart, not ours. It does not mean that you have to let that person continue to do things to you...it simply means that God wants us to be able to get past those things and go on with our life. Forgiveness is not for them...it is for us. Living with anger or unforgiveness is damaging to our spirit.