My best friend is 34.Lives at home.Can't hold a job.Has an excuse for every job people tell her is hiring(not enough pay,doesnt want to work night hours,doesnt want to cashier,doesnt want to lift heavy things ect...).Her Mom enables her too damn much.Her mom pays her bills,doesnt make her pay her share of auto insurance(my friend doesnt think she should pay).She is constantly depressed and negative trying to bring me down too.Im sick of her attitude.I have told her b4 about this and it doesnt help.She will get jealous of other peoples happiness&she cant keep confidencees.What can I do or say to her without causing bodily harm?she is whining and doesnt realize how easy she has it.She is always saying that her and I will never get boyfriends or husbands and I tell her to speak for herself.She did work as a waitress part for a year and did take me to Hawaii for my 30th bday(we did what SHE wanted to do&it was her 3rd time there).Please help.Im at my wits end.
2007-03-10 14:30:07 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
The best thing to do is to cut ties with this female. This might be hard at first, but in the long run it will have been worth it. The reason being is that it seems as if this person is getting to you with her negativity. If you remain in this situation, all this negativity will translate to you. It seems as if you have a good head on your shoulder and that you have high hopes for the future. Do not let your friend rob you of this. A person without hope and goals is just stagnant and takes whatever is given to them. This is the boat your friend is in and you don't want to be like that. You need to continue to strive for what you want. Imagine what will happen to your friend if (I'm not wishing this) something happens to her mom. Who do you think she will lean on then? That's right, it might be you. Being there for a friend is admirable if the friend is trying to do something for themselves. However, your friend sounds like the type that will leech onto everything you have in that event. You do not need all that stress. You have your own life to live. Misery loves company and your friend is trying to keep you in that same boat. Cut all ties, move on, and you will see that things will get better for you. If this causes your friend to wake up and smell the coffee and start doing things for herself, then you have helped her out. If she remains in the same rut, just think that you could have been right there with her and unhappy. It's a win win situation.
2007-03-10 14:49:43 · answer #1 · answered by Fresh 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would be finding other people to be friends with. You need to improve your own life by finding new friends.
She is cutting you down and saying that you will never find anyone else because she wants you to stick around and support her in her misery.
Her Mom needs to get some serious help and stop supporting her lazy backside.
How could she afford to take you to Hawaii, was it on her Moms money?
I have a friend who supported her daughter and grandchildren for so long that she ended up losing her home and is now living in this tiny apartment only a few years away from retirement.
It is sickening, and she keeps telling all of us (her friends that kept trying to tell her she would end up losing her house, and she was enabling her daughter to be a lazy lump with no responsibility) that we were right, and she should have listened.
I would be ashamed of a friend who mooched off of their Mom when they were an adult.
Your friend needs to grow up, get a job and take care of herself. This is the only solution.
Good luck.
2007-03-10 22:48:59 · answer #2 · answered by Sue F 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you need to get another best friend before she destroys her life too. Ever hear of the saying Misery loves company??? People who are miserable generally want those around them to be miserable. Distance yourself from her and live your life the way you want to. Otherwise you will have a hard time finding happiness. If you have told her about it before that is all you can do. Don't let her bring you down too!!!
2007-03-10 22:37:46 · answer #3 · answered by AnaBoo 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk to her mom. If her mom is allowing this then she is more the problem. If her mother didn't pay her bills and spoil her so much then maybe she'd open her eyes and stop complaining about everything. She needs to be thrown out of the house and made to live on her own.
2007-03-10 22:37:29 · answer #4 · answered by huhyftcgbjhu 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Wow, this girl is toxic! Start to slowly end your friendship. It sounds like you have a better outlook on life than she does. Sometimes we grow out of our friends, hey, if it was a boyfriendwould you waste your time? So, "break off" with her. Do it slowly, but move on. You need happier more interesting people in your life.
2007-03-10 22:38:38 · answer #5 · answered by misseasygoing 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
give her time alone and tell her that although u feel for her, no one's perfect - everyone has good and bad times..... and that jealousy will just bring her farther from a state of positive self-esteem. If she still doesn't get the picture, maybe you shud talk to her mom
2007-03-10 22:35:16 · answer #6 · answered by Zuri 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You live your life,and still be her friend but from a distances.Pray for her because if she doesn't realize what's going on live will make her grow up.When that happens you be there to do what you're trying to do now.
2007-03-10 22:51:11 · answer #7 · answered by sharon j 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
At last count there were over 7,000,000,000 people in the world today. Go meet some of these people.
2007-03-10 22:36:32 · answer #8 · answered by GreaseMonkey 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
YOu have to have a serious talk with your friend. Let her know how you feel. If things don't change you should get another friend.
2007-03-10 22:35:39 · answer #9 · answered by Ms. Kitty knows it all 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
talk to her. tell her everything you told us here. tell her the condequences of her actions
2007-03-10 22:36:51 · answer #10 · answered by tin 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋