I HATE TO HURT GUYS FEELING so i always go out with them for pity then break up with them a couple of days aft

Question

HOW CAN I STOP THIS BECAUSE I DID IT TO TWO GUYS THAT WERE MY FRIENDS AND NOW ONE HATES ME THE OTHER WE ARE NOW BEST FRIENDS

Answer 1

I did the same thing once. He was devoted to me and then asked me out, I admit I sort of flirted with him and didn't really like him, but I said yes, he was so clingy I got uncomfortable, and I broke up with him, 2 weeks later, after enduring social stress, and I told him that I just wanted to be friends, and listed the reasons why I didn't want a boyfriend over email, and he understood, we still talk, but it is awkward. Just try to control your pity, and remember that it hurts him more if you go out with him and then suddenly break up with him. I know I hurt my guys feelings and I still feel guilty. But I just couldn't like him and went out with him sort of out of pity. Then I realized I couldn't live a lie.

Answer 2

Honestly the only way you can stop is being upfront with the guys that you dont want to hurt.. because in the end you are still hurting them.. You give them a chance and then take it away from them after a couple of days..

You really have to be honest... and stop being so afraid to tell guys the truth.. because you are just leading them on. I mean.. how would you feel if you really really liked this guy and he felt bad that he didnt like you so he dated you and broke up with you in a week.... and the only reason why he was with you to begin with was because he felt bad about hurting your feelings.. wouldnt you much rather have him just tell you in the first place so you wouldnt have to deal with the break up?

As long as you aren't mean about not wanting to start a relationship with a guy.. they will get over it.. they should know they cant have everything they want and are bound to find someone new...
you cant go out with every guy that asks you.. in the end it will only bring you more trouble and stress...

so stop leading them on and go with the guys you really like

:D

You cant have a real relationship without;

Honesty
Trust
Communication
and
Respect

they all kind of tie in with each other :P

Answer 3

If you don't want to hurt guys, you should not ever date guys you aren't even slightly attracted to. It's worse than just saying you aren't interested because you get their hopes up and then crush them instead of just telling them beforehand. And if you hardly know them, you could say that you have a boyfriend (if there is little chance of them finding out). It will hurt more this way, but the pain is less overall because the guy can start moving on sooner. Good night!

Answer 4

Look, NEVER. go out with someone out of pity. Those relationships always end BADLY. I am kind of a Dr. Phil at my school, fixing and helping a lot of people with relationship problems. I have known, i think the number is 4, cases in which someone has gone out with someone in a pity case, and it leaves the guy heartbroken, tearing down his confidence. It makes him think, "If she (or he....however you swing...) just went out with me out of pity....i must be ugly!" Yes, it sounds a bit girly, but guys can think that. Pity relationships rarely work. Next time, just say that you are not their type, plain and simple.

Answer 5

I feel the same way when guys ask me out. Just lie to them and say your really busy right now and you dont think its the right time for you to be seeing anyone now. Its better to lie than to give them a pity date.

Answer 6

One of my friends had the same problem. She accepted to go out on a date with the guy, went out with him once, maybe twice, and then dumped him. She got sick of doing this because it hurt the guys feelings so she just turned them down if she didn't like them like that. My point of view is; why go out with someone and get them all excited that they are going out with you when you know you are going to drop them in the next few days? In the long run, you are really hurting them more by accepting and then dumping them. All you do is let them down very gently.

Answer 7

24? at the same time as i replaced into at that age, i replaced into truthfully enormous time "existence of a celebration". Who cares about getting married. stay it as a lot because the max!! Have tremendous exciting in existence! bypass skydiving, snokeling, bungee leaping, holiday the loopy carnival rides, devour out at Olive backyard, Chili's, Sonicchronic through. sense free, stay youthful and suited continually! Drink some Jack Daniels or Crown Royal whiskey. Date extra boyfriends and then %. out the single which stands proud the most and makes U the happiest individual on earth. I truthfully know precisely what makes me tremendous satisfied and what would not. My perfect maximum suitable female friend, replaced right into a "existence of a celebration" stylish. Out of each of the girlfriends, she replaced into the most suitable one. edit1: by no potential, by no potential rush immediately right into a existence time relationship. Take your suited time to get to entice close the guy, throughly properly, if no longer merely take a danger, for further useful or for worse. GL

Answer 8

It would be better if you just flat out tell them that you don't like them that way. It hurts way more to be dated out of pity and then broken up with.

Answer 9

well let me tel you is nothing wrong and guys do that all the time too so is nothing for you to worry...Let me tell you guys hate too because I break up with them after months dating think how much hate that will be After months not ony two days so Don't worry...

Answer 10

NEWS FLASH: YOU ARE HURTING GUYS WHEN YOU ARE GOING OUT WITH THEM FOR PITY! why not just tell them "NO, you dont want to date them"? either way, you will break up with them anyway.