I am 41 newly single and trying to move forward with my life. The kids are with dad this weekend. Last night I went out for a few drinks and a movie alone. I think I look really good for my age. But it can get awkward going out alone all the time. But I need to put myself out there and meet new people. Tonight I am torn, go out again, or stay in and watch a movie. I feel the need to go out when my kids are gone. You never know who you might meet, right? I actually feel like a loser staying at home, like I am wasting my night. What do you think? Do you ever feel that way?
2007-03-10 14:07:18 · 12 answers · asked by Teslajuliet 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I am living that now too. Thank God I have my kids this weekend. I have been seperated for about a year and it is always an internal battle when I don't have them. Go out alone and feel like a loser or stay home and be depressed. What I try to do is ask myself, "What do I really want to do?" Forget about what I think I "should" do. If "I" am tired and want to flake out with a movie and a bottle of wine at home that is fine. If "I" want to go out then I just do it and forget what it make look like that I am by myself. It is very hard to make friends as a an adult and you almost need a whole new set of friends when you become single with kids. Your old married friends don't really fit the same way anymore. And at least I didn't have any single girlfriends. Try to find an activity that you enjoy that has a club. I like being outdoors so this spring I am going to join a singles hiking club in my area. In the fall I am going back to school to get my Masters. The degree will be great, but it will also be a way to meet new people. Maybe we should start a singles girl club???? Singles club can be too much pressure that it is like a meat market. Girls only, helping girls find a way to laugh again.
2007-03-10 14:16:14 · answer #1 · answered by Sleepless in Seattle 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ma'am well, I'm only 21 so I shouldn't be teaching a 41 year old about these things but what the heck and you asked for it hehe. Ok, well I don't know about remarrying. But do what you feel and think is right but don't go too far. You can always find a good friend to do things with. Yes, I feel that way most of the time but I play my guitar, read books, study. If I was a 41 year old person I would do somethin like go out and talk with my friends and share them my feelings or just do something fun with them.
2007-03-10 14:16:41 · answer #2 · answered by Kevin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yea sometimes. I wouldn't fully know the position you are in because I am not 41 years old, but I do get your point.
You should totally go out there and meet new people. Try going out with a bunch of your girlfriends and just have a girls night out. Hit the clubs, do whatever just be sure that you are feeling happy on a daily basis.
2007-03-10 14:11:36 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes, although i am not in the same situation as you..
i think the only problem you may have is that quality conversation and company can be hard to come by on a saturday night, at least where i live. although if youre looking to get together with someone, that certainly isnt going to happen if you stay in.
but youre also newly single.. maybe you should take some time for yourself for awhile, you cant do that if youre with someone else..
take some time off of being social and just enjoy yourself.. and dont feel like youre doing something wrong.. youll be doiing it for yourself
2007-03-10 14:14:38 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes. You're not alone. I would guess there are thousands of people (guys too) who are thinking the same thing. It's ok. Good for you for at least heading out like you did - way to go! Stay in tonight, and tomorrow hit a few spots where people will be out on thier own (even a Home Depot). It will come.
2007-03-10 14:12:44 · answer #5 · answered by misseasygoing 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No I don't really feel that way. I consider home to be the one place I feel safe, comfortable and can be myself. I greatly enjoy my time at home, I do not see it as lazy or uneventful.
There is nothing wrong with ordering some chinese food, getting a good movie and curling up in front of the TV, times alone like this in a good (home) environment can be refreshing.
2007-03-10 14:16:48 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you need to try to go out to a club or a very public place where there is a lot of people there. While your there put yourself outhere in the crowd. Just go up to a guy and say hi my name is whatever and get to know him. Flaunt yourself show the guys what you got (i am NOT saying to be a hor) but to just be yourself. I hope this helps
2007-03-10 14:15:18 · answer #7 · answered by some dude 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I used to tell my mom to get a life. When she started going out to meet people she met a man, they got together married and he wound up being the biggest looser, woman hater, wife beater on the planet. why am I telling you this. Not to frightne you but to let you know I do not tell anyone to go out anymore. It is better to find people in your areas of interest, hobbies, etc. not out at clubs.
2007-03-10 14:12:06 · answer #8 · answered by 'lil peanut 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yep all the time. I go out alone and I am 23. I don't like to stay at home. You shouldn't!! Go out enjoy yourself.
2007-03-10 14:10:08 · answer #9 · answered by amandamc32183 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yea, I've felt that way, this is why I am on YA!! I do not think that you should let your age inhibit you as long as you have breath in you live life to the fullest!! Have fun!! Take this extra time to Pamper and Spoil yourself!! You deserve it!!
2007-03-10 14:11:59 · answer #10 · answered by Breann 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋