im 9weeks pregnant and he doesnt believe its his so now hes back with his ex and saying he wants to be there if its his after the baby is born but hes putting me through hell now stressing me out making me depressed. so is it wrong for me to just want to leave him alone completely? i know the baby is his and i love him very much but i dont want to deal with accusations through another pregnancy( my first kids dad did the same but the day my son was born he regreted accusing me) i miss him so much but cant stop pictureing him with her even though im having his first kid and t makes me sick!! we have both made mistakes but the kid is his and he is far from perfect like everyone im so lost but feel like i should just cut him out of my life completely and let it burn!!
2007-03-10 13:49:37 · 12 answers · asked by kartoon529 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
OK this is going to be hard for me to give you advice, considering I don't want my newest son's dad around at all. My son is 3 months old, and already has a little brother from his dad. You have to ask yourself what is best for your child, that's what I have been asking myself.
My son's dad doesn't even acknowledge his son, has had chances to visit...but hasn't. You Can't make someone be a father, but you should at least seek child support. Your child deserves that at least. I say if he's back with his ex, leave him alone. Move on......but think about what's best for your child. You don't have to be in a relationship with the father, for him to play a part in your child's life.
Good Luck to ya, I know what you are going through.
Feel free to email me
2007-03-10 14:02:28 · answer #1 · answered by southern_hockeyfan 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well i am sorry you are going through this but for your child's sake no you should not cut him out of the baby's life yours is fine you can do this by telling him that during your pregnancy because of the stress and unhappiness that your guys ended relationship is causing that you would prefer to not have any contact with him and that unless something major comes up during your pregnancy the next time you will be calling him is after the baby is born to do the paternity test but from this point on your focus is going to be your health and the health of the baby and so you will be limiting your stress level which means not talking to him! once the baby is born do the test and when it comes up as his then you go from there at that point you can make visits possible for him to stop by and see the baby and so on in the end if he is serious then he could go to court and ask for visitation and then you guys will just have more bad blood between you guys inform him that you will be asking for child support if he is serious about wanting to be a part of the baby's life once you prove that the baby is his and so he may want to save now and that when the baby is closer to coming that you would also like to sit down and discuss what the baby may still need after its born since he will not probably want to give you anything till he has proof so that he can be prepared and try to keep it civil! i know your hurting and sad but for the sake of the baby you can not put your feelings ahead of that child who will need a dad in the end if he does do right by your baby he/she will be so better off in the long run and you will be glad you did the right thing even when he did not when you see or hear your child tell you about happy times spent with their father! good luck and god bless
2007-03-10 22:05:59 · answer #2 · answered by peterpansdate 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think for now- it's best to leave him be. (Easier said then done, right?)
You don't need the added stress right now.
Once the baby is born however, I do stress you make sure you recieve child support from him. After the baby his born, he may have a change of heart.
Remember, some people change- against all odds. Never say never and always expect the unexpected.
Right now, focus on a healthy pregnancy. Good luck sweetie. I hope it turns out for the best, and congrats on your new little bundle.
2007-03-10 21:58:28 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
is this his first child? if so he may just be scared and not know how to cope with it as some men do i say if he has a big problem with it get a DNA test at the hospital if it comes out to be his and you have made your mind up that you are done with him then he will fell bad that he said those thing to you just tell him he hurt you too much and was not there to help you during your pregnancy why does he care not...on the other hand though it is nice to have some there to help you so i think this will be a choice that you have to make good luck and congrats!!
2007-03-10 21:57:05 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think cutting him out completely out of your life is a bad idea. Getting stressed out this situation too much is bad for your health and for your babys. You need to stay calm, you are still in the early stages of pregnancy and you don't want anything bad to happen. My suggestion to you is leave him for a couple months. Let him go back to his other girlfriends (sounds like rebound to me!). When your baby comes give him the paternity test he wants. When that comes back positive make sure he pays child support if not contact them yourself and demand he pay it. If he doesn't want to take responsibilty for the baby now, that fine because he sure as hell is going to have to when it comes out!! GOOD LUCK!!
2007-03-10 21:56:02 · answer #5 · answered by bsb8721481 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
when you have a baby with someone it's not about YOU anymore, its about that child. if he is the father like you say he should be allowed to be with his child. there are men who don't want nothing to do with their kids, they just make them and leave. you child is blessed that the father does want to be there. just because you two can't get along now or never you shouldn't deprive your child of having a father. sometimes its best to move on, whats a relationship if you can't trust someone anyway? you should start thinking about taking care of yourself and your kids and learn to be happy without a man. but he should be in the childs life.
2007-03-10 21:58:32 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm sorry you have to go through this. it's tough to deal with this kind of drama especially if you're expecting.
so, give this guy an ultimatum. write it down if you have to. tell him how you feel. and if he doesn't want to be part of your and baby's life, then he shouldn't expect ANYTHING from you. even if he finds out it's his. You can't deprive your child from seeing his/her dad but you can't let him just drop in and out of his/her life inconsistently. So tell him that it's important that he gets his S&*% straight before the baby comes because you're taking everything he has and taking him to Judge Hatchet because HE IS THE FATHER.
remember that emotions can mess things up really bad. be strong.
2007-03-10 21:57:46 · answer #7 · answered by isochronous7 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That has to hurt, being treated that way. Tell him until he's ready to respect you and the (very good) possibility it's his baby, you don't want to be bothered. Be sure you don't do anything too drastic to run him off completely, there are a lot of wonderful daddies out there who were once young and dumb like this guy.
2007-03-10 21:54:25 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
that deoend on him. if he is wanting to be around through it all then yes it is wrong but if he is coming and going as he pleases then f him.he cant walk in and out of yours and the babies life as he pleases.all i can say is go with whats in ur heart.
2007-03-11 00:05:50 · answer #9 · answered by Shayna 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
move on girl if not for the sake of your baby
but for your mental health
Good luck & Take care
2007-03-10 23:05:00 · answer #10 · answered by waiting for baby 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋