The First Affair funny or not wait till you see no 2?

Question

A married man was having an aff*ir with his secretary. One day, their p*ssions overcame them and they took off for her house, where they made passionate l*ve all afternoon. Exhausted from the wild s*x, they fell
asleep, awakening around 8:00 pm. As the man threw on his clothes, he told the woman to take his shoes outside and rub them through the grass and dirt. Mystified, she nonetheless complied. He slipped into his shoes and drove home.
"Where have you been?" demanded his wife when he entered the house.
"Darling, I can't lie to you. I've been having an aff*ir with my secretary and we've been having s*x all afternoon. I fell asleep and didn't wake up until eight o'clock."
The wife glanced down at his shoes and said, "You lying b*st*rd! You've been playing golf!".

The Second Affair
There was a middle-aged couple that had two stunningly beautiful teenage daughters. The couple decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted. After months of trying, the wife finally got
pregnant and sure enough, delivered a healthy baby boy nine months later. The joyful father rushed into the nursery to see his new son. He took one look and was horrified to see the ugliest child he had ever seen. He went to his wife and told her there was no way he could be the father of that child. "Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered!"
Then he gave her a stern look and asked, "Have you been f*oling around on me?"
The wife just smiled sweetly and said, "Not this time!"

Answer 1

thats two good ones chris 20/20

Answer 2

omg too funny

An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.

The boy asked his Father what this was and the father (never having seen an elevator) replied, "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is."

While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, an oversized older lady in a wheel chair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small numbers above the walls light up sequentially. They continued to watch until it reached the last number and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order.

Finally the walls opened up again and an extremely attractive 24 year old woman stepped out. The father, not taking his eyes off the young blonde, said quietly to his son, "Go get your mother."

Answer 3

Funny, it's a different version of a joke I've heard before

for those who dont get it the daughters wer'nt his

Answer 4

Lol, 1 was funny, and I already heard number two, but it was still funny.

Answer 5

Predictable but good

Answer 6

Ha ha ha greater than last time.

Answer 7

Ha Ha! I like it.

Answer 8

These are very good! Hahaha

Answer 9

I like the second one better.... :)

Answer 10

Very funny , LMAO