/I'm a young mother living with my parents temporarily. My daughter's 15 months old and doesn't sleep in her bed. She doesn't go to sleep on her own either. My mom won't let me let her "cry it out" - She'll go in and get her after around 3 minutes. How can I MAKE my own mother listen to my parenting?
2007-03-10 12:43:38 · 20 answers · asked by Endellion 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
A- Not in financial bind at all.
B- I'm helping out with my uncle who's living here as he had his foot amputated.
C- I've read every parenting article and several say you can let them cry. 5 minutes and 10 minutes won't kill them.
D- Pediatrician even said it. =)
2007-03-10 12:51:36 · update #1
It is very important for your mother to understand that although she may feel like she knows all the answers- that undermining your parenting authority at any stage is not a good thing.
With my first, I refused to allow my daughter to "CIO" (cry it out)- then when her sister came along, my pediatrician actually suggested it and I relented, (and I'm sure glad I did)
While every parent is different with their decisions on how to handle a crying baby, it's important for EVERYONE to recognize it is the PARENT'S decision. Your mother may feel she is doing what is right, but it's important that you sit down and explain that your daughter is YOUR daughter.
Best of luck hon.
As for sleeping in her own bed, it may take a little "tough love"- but with a few nights of MAKING her lie in her bed, she'll eventually get it. I know it takes time, I have two toddlers myself- but just keep placing her back in her bed each time she gets up. I know it took us a few sleepless nights of putting the girls in their beds over and over and over but it finally worked.
Again- best of luck!
2007-03-10 12:52:14 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Crying it out is the best method. But lets talk about a way to help your mother through the ordeal.
If your mother wants to help and she wants to be in the room, then she needs to be in your daughters room. She can sit in there on the floor with her face down while your daughter is crying it out. Eventually she can move to the middle of the room to the door and out the door.
If you share a room with your daughter, I am not sure your mothers reasoning. This is one thing that you are going to have to put your foot down on. She can help as long as she helps and she does not hender, because your mother is creating a pattern that is going to last a very long time. I know you know that. You are the childs mother and you must demand that this take place. I would even give an ultamadem if she can't help rather than hender then maybe she should not be aloud to help get your child to bed at all.
I do not mean this mean at all, I am just saying it is your child this is hurting in the long run. She needs to go to sleep on her on.
2007-03-10 14:31:52 · answer #2 · answered by trhwsh 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Crying won't kill your child but I don't agree with letting her cry. I believe there's a good reason why she does and someone has to find out what the problem is. Since you are living with your parents, I wonder if that has disrupted her routine. Was she sleeping in her bed prior to this? Maybe she has not adjusted to the change. In addition to that, your uncle's medical problems might be causing stress within the household and you may not realize it since you are kept busy caring for him. In essence, you could be giving her less attention than you used to. You have to work with her to create a routine that will help her to fall asleep in what may be a strange home to her. Don't hold it against your mom for being so loving and attentive to your daughter.
2007-03-10 14:03:58 · answer #3 · answered by bombastic 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I agree that crying it out wont kill them. I am going back & forth as I'm typing this between my 17 month old. I dont let him cry it out like your mother. A little bit OK, but if I hear crying,screaming, and I go in and see tears, I pick him up and try to rock him. I noticed that If I put him in the crib and he crys, trys to get out....etc...that means he just doesnt want to sleep and I take him out and play with him for about another 1/2 hr and he tires himself out. Its just the grandmother in her, if she wants to put your child to sleep, take advantage and watch TV, or take a shower/bath....whatever! I wouldnt MAKE her listen to you, she wont so dont try! GOOD LUCK!
2007-03-10 13:08:40 · answer #4 · answered by Mammamia3 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
this is a tough one.
1st - you need to be absolutely sure that your daughter does not need you (wet diaper, hungry, over tired, ill etc).
If she is fine, you will need to sit your mom down and lay down the ground rules.
Thank her for allowing you to stay in her home for now, you are ever so grateful.
Then tell her to please understand that your daughter is YOUR responsibility. You know her habits and patterns, and you are concerned that her sleeping habits will be disrupted with the love and concern that your mother is showing her. When you leave again to be on your own, you may have to undo her habits again, and that's going to be confusing for your daughter.
If your mother is not receptive to your wishes, you may have to get yourself in high gear to find yourself another place to live.
2007-03-10 12:54:18 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
I believe till you get out on your own, you can't, what worked for me is I would wait till my child fell asleep, than put her in her own room and bed, finally she would go in herself. Another thing it is hard to raise a child with yourself and your mom in the same house, the child gets confused as to who to liston to, and grandmas will be grandmas and they love to spoil there grandchildren. You both should sit down and try to think of a way together to get the child to sleep in its own bed, this way here she won't be working against you but with you.
2007-03-10 12:52:22 · answer #6 · answered by sidekick 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
this can be hard because you dont want to offend your mother but u need to tell her that you and the baby are suffering by not letting her cry it out. if it continues with your daughter not sleepin in her bed she could be having night tremours, its something common at this age.
2007-03-10 12:48:48 · answer #7 · answered by Juliace & Cheyenne's Mommy 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
if your daughter is in your room you can lock the door. I know that youll have to listen to her but letting her cry can work. I had to do that when my mom would try to do that to me. it can get very loud and you will want to pick her up but you have to stay strong. she will be ok. good luck with it.
2007-03-10 14:44:38 · answer #8 · answered by jess 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i do not agree with letting your child cry it out, but i agree with that decision for you it is your choice you are the mom you need to sit down calmly not at bedtime with your mom and tell her you appreciate all her help and you are grateful for her but this is your daughter and she must respect your decisions wrong or right , she must let you be the mom, her job is gram ma, she raised you well and you will love to hear all her advise but the ultimate decisions are yours, tell her you love her but it is hurting you that she is not trusting you to raise your daughter
2007-03-10 12:50:33 · answer #9 · answered by melissa s 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Good Luck there, Grandmother's never listen to the daughters when it comes to there Grandbabys. Hope you get your own place soon before the child becomes spoiled to being held all the time.
2007-03-10 12:49:17 · answer #10 · answered by Cheryl 6 · 3⤊ 3⤋