I never really go along with her..Years ago she brokeup a couple of my relationships and was verbaly abusive.. She tried to breakup my marriage. My wife and I left NYC to Chicago.. left her behind.. I did not speak to my mother for 4 year..Only recently (she is 75) I have began to have conversations and visit her..I was guilted by a friend.. Last week I went to NYC and stayed at my mothers place..I was looking for photos of my childhood to bring back to my wife and digitize. Apparantly when I was not talking with my mother she had diposed of every baby and childhood photo (of me)that we had (not replacable). I felt that this was sick and uncalled for. Upon discovering this , I went back to Chicago and decided the next time I see her will be never.. Any thoughts?
2007-03-10 12:21:45 · 7 answers · asked by corporatetrade 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
No.
2007-03-10 12:26:48 · answer #1 · answered by Blue Eyed Angel 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe that your mother all her life acted out her pain of probably a disfunctional childhood or something tramatic that happened to her that she never told anyone. It seems like she is carrying so much anger around, and has taken it out on you and those around her. But, that does not mean that what she did to you all of your life is right..Your mother is an emotional cripple and is mentally sick and has probably never been under doctor's care through her life for her instability and has probably not taken any medication to control her moods and depression. She may be bi-polar. So what I think you have to do, and remember I am a mother of three wonderful sons who I absolutely adore, so I don't in any way relate to her, but what you can do is distance yourself from her. You have to because I don't think it will ever be right between you. Call your mother occasionally, send her a birthday card, a mother's day card, and send her gifts now and then for those occasions, but do not see her, because it will depress you. Keep your distance but do not cut the tie completely. She is your mother. She bore you, but because of circumstances that you probably will never know, was not the mother you thought she would be and her behavior disappointed you. I wish your mother would get help, because it is never too late. Today there is so much help in the psychiatric field, and medications but it looks like she won't, but where there is life, there is hope. In the meantime, do what I advise, and just keep your distance for now. I wish you luck.
2007-03-10 20:58:28 · answer #2 · answered by cardgirl2 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Wow ... this sounds exactly like my mother in law. She too tried to break up my marriage and is very verbally abusive so my husband and I haven't spoken to her for 3 years now. Her love comes with a million conditions which must be met or you face her wrath which includes screaming, swearing phone calls at all hours and alot of manipulation.
To destroy your pictures is extremely cruel. Mental illness or not, life is too short to have people like this in it regardless of who they are, you would never take this from a stranger.
I truly feel for you as I know the guilt and hardships my husband has had to go through due to being raised by this monster. I wish you the best and am glad to hear your marriage is still intact. Take care of yourself. Peace :-)
2007-03-10 20:33:40 · answer #3 · answered by me 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She may have mental problems...in which case, it's really not her fault. She is your Mother. SSHe will not live forever. Make sure you will not have any regrets when she does pass away. I lost both of my parents in 2003 and miss them every day. Take an emotional inventory and make sure that you can justify cutting her out of your life. Good luck and bless.
2007-03-10 20:36:35 · answer #4 · answered by William's Mum 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am a very sane person and almost did this same thing your mother did. The feeling is that your child doesn't like you at all and has left your life. When you look at the baby/child pictures it breaks a mother's heart. So I almost threw them out because I figure she didn't ever want to remember me or being together and also because it made me cry unceasingly when I looked at her baby/child pictures. What did you expect when you dumped her, to walk back in to her life and use her to get your pics ? By the way, she took those pics, paid to have them developed and they were hers,not yours.
2007-03-10 20:59:07 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Seems completely understandable to me. I'd be saying to myself I don't need this. Family or not, people have to earn or keep my respect. I don't just give it away.
2007-03-10 20:31:58 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
shez family..u cnt do dat....family iz wat u have when everyone else leavez u and no matter wat u have to b dere through the thick and thin
i dnt think ur mom iz ill i think she jus doesnt acknogledge u as her son sry but i think u should still b dere fo ur mom and b nice b/c two wrongz dnt make a right
2007-03-10 20:30:00 · answer #7 · answered by 123 4 · 0⤊ 3⤋