How long after marrying did you wait to have planned children? I'd like to start trying right away but have been given advice from others that it's best to wait and spend time concentrateing on the marriage. what do you think?
2007-03-10 12:05:12 · 16 answers · asked by kerri c 5 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
lots of people feel that you should spend the first years "getting to know each other"
I say do what's right for you AND your husband!
my husband and I DECIDED to start trying less than a month after we got married. I got pregnant about three months after we wed. We'll be celebrating 5 years on the 21st of this month, and he have a little boy that will be 4 on the 29th!
best of luck to you. my only advice is to make sure "dad to be" is on board too, if so.....full steam ahead I say!
2007-03-10 12:12:21 · answer #1 · answered by Patty O' Green 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would have to agree that it is best to wait. Marriage is tough for the first year or more because you both have to make a lot of adjustments even if you have been together a while and you have lived together. I would suggest at least a year and then talk about it together. Don't push him in to doing something he may not be ready for or it could have bad consequences. Children are a decision you need to make together. Put money away for "emergencies" and really think about what being a parent entails. When the time comes you both feel you are ready, then go for it! Good luck!
2007-03-10 20:16:30 · answer #2 · answered by itsjustme 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have the rest of your life to become parents (unless you're over 35, then the clock is sort of ticking), but once you become parents, it'll never just be the two of you again.
Enjoy your time as newlyweds. Build a strong foundation to build your family upon. Make memories, be selfish, and do all the things you won't be able to do when you have kids (travel, sex in the afternoon, all day pajama days with a stack of movies, etc.).
We waited 2 years before we started "trying" and then it took us another 2 years to get pregnant. Looking back, I am so glad we had those 4 years of "just us."
Now, if you're over 35 and you want more than one or two kids, you may want to start earlier. I think you also need to take your husband's feelings into account - after all, he's becoming a parent, too.
2007-03-10 20:43:58 · answer #3 · answered by Amy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was married in AUG of 2000. I became pregnant in JAN of 2001 and I had my baby in OCT. 2001. That equals to about 4 months of marriage before becoming pregnant. I love my daughter very very much, but I think that I should have waited a little longer to have children. Concentrate on your marriage, because children change everything and marriage is hard enough.
2007-03-10 20:50:23 · answer #4 · answered by SAMMY 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would wait at least 2 years. This gives u and hubby ample time to enjoy the time u have together and grow as a couple.
Spend time together and make many memories by vacationing and doing things while u are able to do them without worrying about finding a babysitter.
After u have enjoyed one another and grown as a strong couple, u will start feeling like your life is not so complete. This is the time to think about starting a family and adding to your life.
Good luck hun.
2007-03-10 20:18:00 · answer #5 · answered by Truth Teller 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Here is my honest opinion.
It totally depends on the amount of time you have been with each other and how much time you have had to get used to each others quirks and annoyances etc. etc.
As long as you are both in agreement, I think it's 100% YOUR decision. If parents/in laws/friends do not agree with the idea, then simply leave them in the dark about it.
Only YOU and YOUR HUSBAND can decide on when the time is right.
Personally- I was with my husband for 3 years before we married, then another year before we had our first. We now have 3, and we are expecting twins in July.
Best of luck!
2007-03-10 20:11:08 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'd wait for about 2 years(or less dependng on you) but atleast one so that you can adjust to married life before adding a baby into the mix. Remeber once you have a child you can't return him/her. Enjoy your marriage for a while before you think about kids cuz this can actually add a strain on ur marriage if ur not prepared.
2007-03-10 20:12:27 · answer #7 · answered by PureSophistication 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The decision is really up to you! When you feel ready to start a family than you will know! I have been married for 6 years now and it was only this year i decided the time was right to start a family - you'll know when the time is right for you! Good luck!
2007-03-10 20:14:46 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have been married for over 27 years.
Have to say that when you are financially on your feet in your marriage, have the things you need or want. Would be the correct time.
2007-03-10 20:35:57 · answer #9 · answered by need help 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it's completely up to you and your husband. With us, we were actually only married about 4 months when we found out I was pregnant! Anniversary is in May, baby is due in June :)
2007-03-10 20:19:26 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋