My ex and i were together for a long time but it was long distance and the whole point of the relationship revolved around him moving to be with me which he told me he always wanted but he broke it off 2 months ago.. now i am getting pressure from everyone to stop feeling sorry for myself or holding on and being told to move on. I want to move on and find someone who makes me happy but i keep comparing them to my ex and bc im doing the online dating thing when they ask to meet i freak out and i stop talking to them only to be on the look out a couple weeks later and do the same thing. Dating is hard when all of ur friends are girls! Guys i speak to assume i've had sex because they find me attractive (don't mean to sound up myself) and i feel really embarrassed and ashamed that I haven't before. That was something i only wanted to do with my ex we were so close i think he ended it cuz of the distance and it hurts like hell knowin we could be happy and together if only he took a chance
2007-03-10 11:22:28 · 27 answers · asked by allie84 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Fact from fiction, truth from diction. ALISHA G!!! Wake the hell up *slap slap slap* You are just fine being a virgin. In fact I would be more proud to date you than most of those "neighborhood bicycles"(everyone got a ride) Do NOT let the amount of sex you have not had define how pretty or desirable you are. Don't let me track you down and kick some sense into your a**. *hugs*
Now lets get down to the business at hand. What you have is "the fear of lose, over the desire to gain". You fear losing someone else for whatever reason more than you desire to gain that great realationship and life you speak of. Because when you meet these guys online, they are not stand alone guys, being seen in their own right. They are seen as replacements to this guy who dumped you. And you have not gooten over that hurt and don't want to feel it again. Find something equal or better that is different. Like a house, if it burns down it will never be the same even if built back from the same plans. Right now, you have to look at the ex as a home burned away. What you had with him is gone. Now you can sit in the ashes and remember all the good meals and times or clean out the debris and start building a better home.
You do have to be careful. Many guys seeing you on the mends and a virgin too will use it to just to try to be the 1st to get the cherry. Because they know it is a priceless gift you can only give away ONCE. Even if they dumped you 30 minutes after rolling out of bed, they know they own that part of you FOREVER, you can never take that from them.
Don't fear being single. take your time and choose for quality. And do not worry about not having been sexed up by many men. Some people still like the girl many today would call old fashioned which us smart guys call "self-rspecting and owning herself"
2007-03-18 02:19:56 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why are people ashamed of not having a sexual relationship? I think they should be ashamed if they have had a lot ! I'm sorry you feel that way but you shouldn't ..I know its easier said than done, but you should give it some time before you jump into the next relationship..As for comparing to your ex.....we are all guilty of that, try just being friends with other guys before you announce that were dating.Get to know them as friends first..I hope something in this helped you out..Best of luck !
2007-03-18 08:39:32 · answer #2 · answered by That Girl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Same with me. All of my friends have been guys, and once a couple of girls came into the circle, all the guys spread rumors about me and now I have no friends at all.
Anyway, I'm 3 years older than you, and still a virgin. For a girl, that's an OK thing. For a guy, people think that there's a huge reason why you're so old and still a virgin, like you don't have a likeable personality or something. So I fret about it all the time.
2007-03-10 11:26:46 · answer #3 · answered by perfectlybaked 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have no reason to be ashamed! You should be proud of yourself and feel good that you have self respect. You should absolutely wait until you feel the time is right and the person is right, then you will have no regrets in that area. It is good for you to get out again and move forward with your life. People come into our lives for a reason, so learn from your ex relationship and move on. Once you get out there, you will feel better about it. You have to take that first step. Good luck!
2007-03-10 11:30:32 · answer #4 · answered by vanhammer 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all u shouldnt be ashamed, im a year older than you and a proud virgin, and like u, i dont consider myself ugly because i have lots of really hot friends....sometimes u just dont find the right person and u know what it will be worthy to wait and do it with someone that really cares about you.
2007-03-10 11:31:23 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do not be embarrassed or ashamed...
There are LOTS of good men who would be
delighted to deflower a young lovely such as yourself.
Do not sell yourself short..
There are lots of men around...
Choose very carefully...
Find a mature, caring, stable, older may with some assets
and a good future....Do not invest more than 2 - 3 yrs. in
a relationship without marriage..Do NOT have kids out of
wedlock...Get a good Pre-nup to protect you in the event of
death / divorce etc...Start taking Birth Control Pills...
When you start getting to know a man, do a credit check on
him...He is a serious / major / long term investment...
It is as easy to love a rich man as it is a poor man and life is
a lot less stressful and more fun...
Do your homework....Watch out for STD's....
2007-03-10 11:33:43 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's not nothing to be ashamed of.I know that you wanted to do it with the one You love,and that's what makes it more Special,but dont worrie youre young,and there are plenty fish in the sea.Just make sure you doing the right way.Maybe meet a nice guy from church.Those usually settle down.
2007-03-10 11:29:36 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't feel shameful at all! I regret my first time, as i did not love them. Wait until the time is right. in regards to the comparing issue, thats something you will have to work on! The person must of been special
2007-03-18 12:04:38 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you shouldnt be ashamed that u are a virgin......if anything u should be happy becuz u should save it for someone that u really love or have strong feelings towards........its not ur time.....everyone has their time come but urs is just a little late.....trust me i've known 25 year olds and over who were virgins and didnt lose their virginity until marriage.........dont worry the time will come
2007-03-10 11:32:15 · answer #9 · answered by lalgita12 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you are an inspiration. Dont' give in to pressure and don't worry about being hung up on someone. It's happened to everyone. But don't rely on internet for dating. You should meet people in your area.
2007-03-18 12:30:15 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋