why do i find it hard to tell my parents or family that i love them?

Question

its up and down reli sometimes i reli hate me mum and i feel my dad is not reli a use to me, my sister is a impatient idiot and i just love my lil brother to bits.

but i still love them for the many reasons i have

y do i find it so hard to show and tell them how much i love them when i can do so more easily with my friends?

Answer 1

Throughout my childhood and teenage years, there had been a lot of tension and distance within my family (3 kids and a re-marriage). My mom had me at a very young age also, so the combination of her being a single, working, young mom definitely took a severe toll on our relationship.

Of course, I eventually found myself in your shoes: as much as I loved my family, it was difficult to fight through my own pride, for fear that my feelings wouldn't be validated or reciprocated. In addition to that, I was deterred by the fighting that always seemed to ensue whenever my family would get together.

As I got older though, I started to go through some pretty tough things and realized I really needed my parents' guidance and my siblings' support. After all, even though the tension was always there, they were also always there for me when I really needed them (even at times I thought they wouldn't be).

I started small... going over for dinner one or two nights a week; talking to them about some of my smaller issues; listening to things they were or had gone through. Then, I opened myself up more... we would play games or act silly around one another, tell each other how we felt about one another and even how we felt about the tension between us. It was a gradual ascent to having a 'normal' relationship; but I found once I exposed my own vulnerabilities (and I was hurt a few times by them - but got back up), they exposed theirs' too.

As a species, we tend to follow example. So take the lead; it will be hard and exposing, but isn't a solid, open relationship with the people who will always be there for you, worth the trouble? I think so!

It's hard to knock down that PROUD wall, but you'll find that once you do, we're all in the same boat, facing similar struggles. Your family is probably having a difficult time expressing their feelings too; so take the leap. You have nothing to lose but so much to gain!

Answer 2

Because your friends validate who you really think you are and so do your lil brothers. You don't like or show affection to people who don't treat you the way you feel you should be treated based upon your internal self-image. People who treat you differently than you feel you deserve produce an obvious contrast to what you expect.

To love your family, change what you expect of them. Or go on not showing them love

Answer 3

because as we grow up, we try to get independence from our parents/families, and when you put those walls up, it can be hard to say "i love you." plus, saying that can make you feel like you're going backwards, like you're becoming less mature, or like you're saying that all the things your parents do that you don't like are ok.... basically, it's letting your guard down.
but in the long run. the more mature thing to do is to not worry about how mature you seem, and to be able to express your true feelings and your true love for your family to them.

Answer 4

Pride perhaps? Thinking of the next fight you'll have with one of them, you don't want to show any sign of weakness? lol I don't know...