What do I say to my mother when I tell her about my wedding?

Question

OK so basically, my mother is older, has not-so-great health and is very religious/traditional. My fiance' and I are planning to get married out-of-state for several good reasons (problems with his family, we are afraid his ex-wife may crash the wedding, its romantic, also we want a very small wedding). Anyways, I am petrified to tell my mother. She's the type that likes to tell her children what to do and give them guilt trips if they dont abide. I am her youngest child and I understand that she wants to be there but I need to have my wedding MY way. We plan on having a reception here at a later date. What do I do when my mother goes pyscho about this?
I'm just so horrible at confrontation and I've always avoided it with her my whole life. This is one thing I can't avoid and I dont really know how to handle it.
Thanks for any advice

Answer 1

You have to do youre own thing you cannot be tied to youre Mother all youre Life. When you grow up you move on that is the way of the World. You move out and make youre own Life make Good decisions or make bad ones and try to learn by youre mistakes. Is there a Possibility you can take the Mother to youre Wedding out of State. You will have to tell her youre Plans you cant Ignore her that would be the worse Insult. You just Have to get it done tell her the truth.

Answer 2

You have to bite the bullet. Your mom is domineering, but only if you let her (this includes guilt trips). Calmly tell your mom that you have already made a decision as to how your wedding/reception will be and that you want her to be a part of it as long as she respects your wishes. Further tell her that if she is going to argue and make a scene then its better that she not come at all. Whether you like it or not if you don't put your foot down now with your mom she will make your married life miserable. Better to deal with it now then to spend the rest of your life regretting not doing anything about it.

Answer 3

My family would kill me if I got married without them and I don't typically advocate getting married wtihout them, but you might be an exception. If you feel that your mother would ruin your wedding simply because it's not the way she would have had it, maybe you should get married without her. Come back, tell her you're married and to head off the guilt trip tell her about your reception. Maybe if she gets to put her 2 cents in with that she won't feel that bad.

Answer 4

You have to bite the bullet and tell her. She has been manipulating you but you have enabled her to do so. You have to do your wedding the way you want to. I would certainly hope your mother would be allowed to attend if she wants to.