Ok. I have been best friends with this kid John since sophomore year in hs (I'm a soph in college now). John, me, and this other kid Andrew, not from the same school, used to hang out all the time and we had really good times, joking around and such. About a year ago, John and Andrew had a major falling out and are now complete enemies so I have to just hang out with John as the two of us. We still had a good time doing stuff.
However, lately John has randomly joined this group of kids from the nearby city who are a bunch of druggies and don't work or go to school (I commute to a local engineering college). John constantly tags along with them and brings me too, even though they make fun of him all the time and don't even seem to like them. But he doesn't seem to see it or care and does whatever they say and tries REALLY hard to fit in with them, and everytime we hang out, he always wants to chill with them. I don't really like them b/c all they do is sit around and do drugs, and my
2007-03-10 09:17:43 · 6 answers · asked by MikeB 2 in Health ➔ Mental Health
idea of a fun friday night is not to sit around some room and do drugs. They don't relate to John at all but it seems like his entire goal in life is to fit in with them in any way he can. I'm not like that, I can't relate to them and I don't try to be someone I'm not like John does. But all he wants to do is hang out with them.
What should I do without completely ending my friendship with John??
Sorry for the long paragraphs
2007-03-10 09:17:55 · update #1
Keep John as a your friend. I think he needs you. People do grow apart and that's normal that you're both going down different paths, you to college and who does he have left to hang out with? I'd try and get him involved with going to college with you by showing or finding one course that you think perhaps both of you could take. This way he can find friends in college and when you see him getting along better with the guy in his class, show him that and get him away from the kids who are going down the wrong road. Tell him how you feel if he doesn't want to take up a class with you.
As for you, tell him you don't want to hang out with the drug kids and that you'd rather go "here", wherever you think you'd like to go. Then go do that instead. Ask him if he wants to come and go from there. Try and find him a course though, this could be the push he needs. Graphics, something to do with computers, anything though really. Help him, but don't feel as though you need to go places you don't want to make him happy. You don't need any "police record" for any type of arrests when it comes to applying for that great engineering job. Keep your head on straight about this, you come first. He's lucky to have such a friend who cares about him. I wish you the best.
2007-03-10 09:35:12 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
John is trying to be accepted by the in crowd,if i were you i would let John read your post it explains alot,then you go ahead with your life you are rising above a situation that could only bring someone down,there is no future or true friends there i respect your attitude hang in there..........good luck and God Bless
2007-03-10 17:28:42 · answer #2 · answered by loveChrist 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to sit down with John and tell him what you have written here. You may have to stay away from him if he continues to see these people. If you happened to be with them when the police decide to pay a visit your career as an engineer could be over before it starts
2007-03-10 17:24:55 · answer #3 · answered by jonnyraven 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just tell him if he wants to hang out with you thats fine, but dont bring his punk *** friends along. Why should you have to hang out with them just cause he wants to? I think if i was you I would maybe consider a intervention to try and get him some help cause it sounds to me like he may have some self esteem issues as well. I mean really who would hang out with a bunch of people but do nothing but make fun of you and are just rude? BTW when you go with him, you are under no obligation to. If you dont want to hang out with them just tell him how you really feel and if he doesnt like it and throws a fit then maybe he's not that great of a friend anyway.
2007-03-10 17:26:18 · answer #4 · answered by bobbie21brady 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him you dont like hanging with his new 'friends' because of their bad habits! and express your concern about him associating with them as well, dont tag along anymore because he is your friend, tell him what you think and let him decide what is more important to him. you cant stop him going down that path if that is what he really wants, but dont let him take you with him!
2007-03-10 17:29:59 · answer #5 · answered by sydneygal 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, john might be trying to fit in because if he has something going on in his life, he might want to be rebelious in those ways, and to just be a bit solitary from the world for awhile
try talking to him, and ask what's up. definitley don't try to talk to his "friends" by urself though. they might...do something to u?
but definitly talk to john
2007-03-10 17:35:40 · answer #6 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋