My inlaws have offered to buy my daughter her first big bed for her 2nd birthday. Now I have a certain theme going in her room and would like one style bed in particular. They asked me to choose a bed, which I did, then they said no it wasnt good value for money and tried to convince me to get the style bed THEY liked. I said no, I dont want that bed for her room, but I feel as though they think i am being difficult. I am more than happy to buy the bed I want for my daughter myself, but they keep insisting. Should I stand my ground?
2007-03-10 08:01:26 · 11 answers · asked by han83b 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
This is a sticky situation, tell them thank you very much, but you will be buying the bed you like, thank them for their generous offer, but unfortunately you must decline. You can then ask if there is something else they would like to buy your daughter??, if so point them in the direction, of the styles you like. By the way , you are not being difficult, you just have a strong sense of what your personal style is, don't let anyone take that away from you, or make you feel guilty about it.
2007-03-10 08:16:58 · answer #1 · answered by Kimberly H 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would if I were you. The children in our lives watch every little thing that the parents do. If the parents back down without really wanting to the child senses the uneasiness of the situation and then you aren't happy, the child sees this and will later keep the information until the information is able to be used. This is in any type of situation whether it is purchasing something major or just talking about a dinner at someones house. The child will absorb the ways that you break down and use it to their advantage later in life. This has been my experience with all 5 of my children. The buttons are stored in their brains and even though you don't think so the buttons are used later on in life. (To their advantage). I would stick to my guns because of the fact of the buttons and because of the fact that the bed is going in your house and in your child's room. It should be what type of bed you want for her. Good Luck Remember that the grandparents always want to help and that is great but the grandparents need to understand is that you are the parent. When they were the parent what would they have done.
2007-03-10 16:36:09 · answer #2 · answered by ANG 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
First I'd ask are they right about the bed you picked out? When I was shopping for beds for my DD's it took forever not because I was picky about style but I was very picky about quality. I passed up a ton of beds just because they felt too flimsy. Know I know people who have some of these beds and a lot of the problems I saw with them are already happening to the beds and they'll have to replace them a lot sooner than I will.
If the in-law's concerns have to do with quality and they are right you may just need to do more shopping to find something you both agree on. If you decide to do that I'd sit down with them and talk about the style concerns and have them help hunt the right bed down.
2007-03-10 16:58:50 · answer #3 · answered by Critter 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ABSOLUTELY!!!! If you have a theme going, they SHOULD respect that and go along with it, because she IS YOUR daughter, NOT theirs!!! I would tell them nicely that YOU will be buying THE bed that goes with the theme, thank them for their offer, and suggest they open a savings account for your daughter with the money instead. If they get mad (stubborn pushy people usually do get mad not getting their way) then just say "GEEEE, I'm sorry but the other bed is just not going to work right now". Hopefully they will get over it - if they don't, OH WELL!!!! You HAVE to establish your boundaries where in in laws are concerned NOW, or you will never get what you want or don't want.
2007-03-10 16:19:18 · answer #4 · answered by BikerChick 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
stand your ground-she is your child-you get what you want for her-even if you have to pay for it on your own-just try to do it in a proper manner-you don't want to stirr up arguments involving your daughter and a bed-just keep it honest and nice as can be-tell them you'll buy the bed of your choice and they can choose another accesory for the room(that would be something no so as important to you-so it wouldn't matter what style they chose)but remember you are her mother-you get first call on every decision making there is to be done as well as the father!
2007-03-10 16:14:58 · answer #5 · answered by ang925 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is it possible to look a bit more and find something you can compromise on? That's an idea. Otherwise, I think it's ok to say that you really had your heart set on this particular bed and you understand if they don't want to spend their money on it. Give them an option for another big item she needs for her room instead. I think if you say it the right way they will understand.
2007-03-10 21:10:00 · answer #6 · answered by vanhammer 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely you should. The gift should be given unconditionally, not because they want to give what they like. I'd buy the bed myself and suggest a different gift for them to buy.
2007-03-10 16:06:29 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Say that you wouldn't feel comfortable letting them pay for the bed you would rather pay for it yourself tell them it is no offense you would just not be comfortable letting them pay...
Good Luck
2007-03-10 16:07:22 · answer #8 · answered by Ash 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if they want to buy the damn bed then let them...but it doesnt mean it has to go in your house. your her mother and you get to choose which bed to buy!
2007-03-10 16:05:40 · answer #9 · answered by I'm Smiling Hapy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's your house, your daughter, I think you should do what you want to do, go buy what you want and then you are not obligated to them anyway. Happy decorating!!
2007-03-10 16:06:43 · answer #10 · answered by Suzie- Q 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋