Why are teenagers so determined to hide their mental illnesses from the parents?

Question

My friend was builmic and she would do everything and anything to stop her mum finding out. After a year she told her mum. (We were going to tell her mother, but she told us after a month she had stopped, when really she hadn't, when we found out she hadn't stopped, we treatened to tell her mother if she didn't)

A lot of my other friends sneak around behind their parents backs to go to counselling and etc.

But if it was a physical illness they would tell their parents and go to a doctor.

Why are teenagers so determined to hide their mental illnesses from the parents?

BMAC- I went straight to our school counsellor and told her that very hour my friend told me. We didn't just stand back and watch her hurt herself. I did all I could. Our school counsellor didn't even tell her mum.

Answer 1

it's not just teens. People in general are embarrassed to need mental help. There is a HUGE, horrible stigma on people who have mental disorders. They don't want to be seen as crazy, or have a label attached to them for the rest of their lives. It's sad. If you have cancer, everyone wraps their arms around you, and helps you out the best they can. If you have schizophrenia, you are ostracized. It's sad.

Answer 2

Mental illness has a very bad stigma which so many teenagers do not want attached to them. It is hard enough to be a kid, and the pressures now are so much worse than even when I was a kid. However sometimes parents loose sight of the real important stuff to have a child that is well adjusted.

I didn't tell my parents things because I felt like they were out of touch with the things I was dealing with. Although peoples behavior and human nature will always be the same, the pressures kids face are quickly becoming harsher.

There is a very small number of people which actually deal with things regarding their own children very well. We typically over react.

Answer 3

As a teacher, I have known several students who were mentally ill. Some knew they were, and others did not realize how sick they were. Some were dangerous. When we try to get the parents to be aware, many parents are in denial and say, "oh, it's just a phase she's going through". I don't think most people realize how severely depressed some teens and preteens are. Many suffer from eating disorders. While all schools have a nurse, they do not have psychologists... and that is badly need in schools these days.

Answer 4

I'm 15 and I've got depression. I wanted to hide it cause I'm ashamed of myself. I hate my self for:
1. Drinking a lot
2. Cutting for a year
3. Starving myself for days
4. Never sleeping
It's a really hard thing to do, tell your parents that you think your mental ! You sound like a really careing friend but try to put yourself in your friends shoes. Don't force her into doing stuff, just be there for her. Listening to how she's feeling is the best thing that you could do. Friends are priceless and if it wasn't for my friend I wouldn't be here right now ! I hope everything goes well for your friend. Your doing a great job helping her, well done :-D

Answer 5

Hi Wby. People that go through mental illnesses, in particular bulimics usually hide their illness from everybody. First, they do not want to accept they have an illness. For them it is so natural to eat like "a pig" and then throw up. For them their parents and doctors become "enemies" because they know if they found out they will make them eat and take all the nutrients in the food. They do not want this because it is going to make them gain weight. A big step for bulimics is to accept their illness and then seek for help. If this person does not want to tell his/her parents, it is important that they at least seek professional help. My sister is bulimic, this is why I am saying all this. [e-mail]

Answer 6

Well, I assume that by "mental illness" you mean "psychological problems," because things like bulimia in adolescence are almost always problems we grow through and past, rather than actual diseases of mental function.

Anyway, I think it's because the parent/child relationship is particularly fraught with expectation and love. For example, your friend's mom might have once gone out of her way to discourage your friend from being neurotic about her weight, or she might have pressured her to be thinner, or told your friend how she used to be bulimic and overcame it, or whatever -- something made your friend afraid her mom would be hurt, by her failure to live up to whatever image she thinks her mom has of her. It's the same thing with physical problems we get from behavior -- I think teenagers would also hide stuff like injuries from minor car accidents or STDs from parents, for the same reason.

Answer 7

YOU should have told her parents. None of this threatening stuff. You make it worse by doing that. Because it shouldn't be a threat to tell your parents anything like that. The person isn't bad. They haven't done anything wrong. They're sick. If your friend was trying to hide a terrible fever, vomiting, unconsciousness......would you hide it from her parents? No, you'd tell them their daughter was very sick so she could get help. Same thing. She's very sick and she needs help. And to fear her being mad at you is also wrong. When she realizes you saved her life....she'll get over it.

Answer 8

Because as a teen, sometimes you feel as though parents "just don't understand", so instead, they hide things, or go to another adult for help. It is quite normal, and it will stop once they realize that their parents really are on their side, too. It is a difficult age, a confusing time, and parents can sometimes been seen as the "enemy". Be thankful you don't feel that way about yours, and just support your friends, and be there for them when they need you.

Answer 9

Because they'll get worried and be all overprotective and strict. Also, some parents a bigmouths and will tell everybody, while some teens would want it to be kept private.

Answer 10

Unfortunately parents expect too much from their children,and children are afraid of disappointing their parents.I hid mine for 37 years,b/c I was afraid I would disappoint my parent then my spouse.Eating disorders are hidden well by most teenage girls,but it is also deadly.Tell a counselor,if she gets mad at you think of it this way,YOU MAY VERY WELL SAVE HER LIFE.