Does anyone have a religion for me?

Question

I'm looking for a religion. The first person to convert me wins.

GO!

Listen, all this hippie "spirituality" is great, but I'm really looking for something dogmatic that I can sink my teeth into. You know, something that causes me to do repetitive tasks until I'm dead.

Answer 1

hey dear,

come and join islam...the truth which
lead to the right path..

please read this MESSAGE
http://www.islamweb.net/ver2/archive/article.php?lang=E&id=32538

may god lead you to the right path dear
and hope i could helped you

peace
anno

Answer 2

You need the One True Faith, brother! All other faiths are Pink Propaganda, meant to tie you down to the vile mechanisms of the Conspiracy. Turn your focus, and wallet, to 'Bob'! J.R. 'Bob' Dobbs discovered the One True Faith when he was contacted by YHWH-1 one fateful evening while he was building a home-made TV. The visions and revelations that 'Bob' was witness to opened his mind, and foot-gland, to the real scope of the Conspiracy's plot to subjugate humankind. 'Bob' eventually was able to spin a deal with YHWH-1 and the alien Xists that only Subgenii can take advantage of. By joining the Church of the Subgenius, for however short a time, a Subgenii can be spared the horrors that await the common Pink Conspiracy dupes when the Xists finally invade on July 5 at 7:00 A.M. There have been several X-days, but none has yet produced the fore-told destruction (for the Pinks) and the salvation (of the Subgenii). So, it's not too late! Join now to avoid the lines! You too can become one of the Saved Peoples simply by buying membership into the most elite, dynamic, and intelligent of all the cults available today! Your $30 'love offering' to the Church will not only assure you a place on the Pleasure Saucers when the Xists invade and destroy the Earth, it will also grant you magnificent powers beyond current human understanding! You can obtain luck, power, wealth, and sex through to teachings of the Church! Join the Church, buy the books, spread the Word, and you will understand (or not) the One True Faith. Jesus may forgive your sins, but 'Bob' will justify your sins.

Answer 3

I don't recommend any religion. I suggest getting to know Jesus on a personal level.
Son of God and all- He's connected.
He loves you unconditionally to start with. Wants what's best for you. He already has an awesome destiny waiting for you.
I'm not into converting. Not my job. My commission is my privlidge to share what He's done in my life.
As a child of the Most High, my life has been transformed so radically; it's hard to comprehend anyone not wanting the gifts He bestows.
To the world, my life looks pretty suckey. To me? Whatever. I'm filled with joy and see the beauty in all of Creation.
The world's pretty ugly and seems to want you face down in the dirt. Walking in the Light of the Son, everything is brighter.
God picks you up, brushes you off, wraps His amazing arms around you and gives you the DESIRE to LOVE life.
It is truly awesome.
Religion is full of ritual, sacrifices, hypocrisy, guilt and is constantly affirming you are never going to be good enough.
Jesus says, "Just the way you are- I love you."
Just bring Him your battered life and ask Him to show Himself to you. He is alive. In a dimension our little minds seem to struggle with accepting, but that does not make it so.
We don't need all the answers. Just a willing heart.
God with God. Be blessed. Love you.

Answer 4

spiritualism = freedom from all the dogma and manmade b.s.; belief that the 'little things in life' are the best things; living by the golden rule; not being judgemental; accepting people for who they are....no religious dogma or belief necessary; knowing there is a higher power that is good....he/she/it/universal energy....all the same. belief that our soul is an energy that will continue after it leaves the human shell (just as einstein once said) and go on to bigger and better things.....and you can still have a few beers, smokes, and laughs, tattoes, & trips to jamaica and listen to all the bob marley you want and you still won't be sinning.

Answer 5

It seems to me that religion is something you don't want. Why don't you try martial arts, preferably kung fu. There is a spiritual side to it as well as mental and physical. Its the complete fusion of mind, body, and spirit. You'll get in good shape, you'll learn self defense, and you'll gain confidence and self control. If done properly it can and will make you a better person all around.

Answer 6

My religion does not advocate converting others. If you choose to adopt the religion then you are more than welcome to. As for something dogmatic....Hinduism isn't very dogmatic at all. Sorry. As for doing repetative tasks until your body dies....well now Hinduism has some practices for that. Mainly Hinduism centers around yoga. Yoga means "union" as in "union with the Divine". Bhaktiyoga is the yoga of devotion....path of the heart as some people call it. If you prefer to sing songs, chant chants, pray, and do rituals then bhaktiyoga is the path for you. Karmayoga is the yoga of action. Here the aim is to do all service without attachment to it (to not be attached to what you do as well as to the rewards of your actions). Jnanayoga is the yoga of the intellect. Here you study, you think, you ponder, and the aim is to apply it in practice and once you reach one level you then work to move on to the next level through the same process. Rajayoga is the yoga of the breath. This is primarily meditation and there are many different forms of meditation, but many Hindus do japa meditation. Japa means the recitation of the name of God (whatever name it is you worship the Divine by) or by a mantra, usually one given by a guru. Most mantras are Om shree *name you call the Divine by" namaha. Other mantras are like Om Aham Brahmasmi or the oldest mantra right from the Rig Veda called the Gayatri mantra which goes Om Bhur Bhuvasya Tat Savitur Varenyam Bhargo Devasya Dheemahi Dheeyo Yonah Prachodayat. In Hinduism you usually chant the mantra is multiples that all lead to 108....9, 12, 27, 54, etc times. For example I generally chant the Gayatri mantra in the morning when I wake up 12 times. My evening devotions are my mantra which as my ishtadev's name in it (ishtadev is the name and/or form you associate the Divine with for meditative, devotional, focal point reasons) 108 times. Hindus usually count the number of times on a set of prayer beads called a mala.

If you'd like to learn more about religions the BBC has a great resource at http://www.bbc.co.uk/religions You can also visit http://www.religioustolerance.org which also has a great resource as well as http://www.sacred-texts.com . There are some great books out there on religions as well. Check http://www.amazon.com for some or you local library. I adopted Hinduism after doing much research on the various religious traditions. For myself Hinduism most closely related to my own personal experiences of the Divine. As a Hindu I view all religions as just another path to the Divine. As the Rig Veda says "Truth is One, Paths are many." (Rig Veda 1:164.46 sometimes translated also as "There is one God, though humanity calls It by many names.")

Good luck in your search along your spiritual journey. Peace be with you.

Answer 7

"Come join Christianity! We believe that anything, which defies the laws of physics (like turning water into wine), to be 100% truth! No question. We also accept pedophilia in all its forms!" - Typical Christian Response

Answer 8

Try Beliefnet's Belief-o-Matic:
http://www.beliefnet.com/story/76/story_7665_1.html

It will show you which religion you are closest to. Then you will have to investigate further on your own whether this religion is compatible with the path of your soul.

Answer 9

I don't want to convert you ^_^" jeje...but you can still try my religion!, its the best [for me]

Seven Day Adventist

we believe in God, Trinity and the returning of Jesus!

we DON'T BELIEVE in hell, having to confess to priest or any of those stuffs, ghost, or after life :)

Answer 10

Religion? Sorry, no.
But Grace offered freely by a God who asks nothing of you? Then yes, I have a faith for you. It was given to us by a God who became man to die a sinners so you wouldn't have to. Talk about an amazing God!!

Answer 11

Pastafarianism. Worship The Flying Spaghetti Monster. He is the one true gOd. He will, by the power of his pastavinity, grant you plentiful noodles for the rest of your mortal life, and bestow upon you a personal stripper factory after you die.