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Question

I just hanged up on my gf becuase she made me so angry. I just been admitted to Chapman University while she is admitted to Cal State Fullerton. She says that she will check up on me to see if im talking to any girls as in study groups. She tells me that when im in the libarary studying she will check up on me.....I yelled at her saying that she will never check up on me cuz that is making me feel like a little kid....

btw she is my first gf and i never ever cheated.....im her 4th bf and she cheated on her ex bf...what should i do....she is makign me so mad.....i have never done anythign to make her treat me like this..im only 18 and she is 17

Answer 1

It seems like your girl needs to chill. You should be more suspicious of her than she should be of you. She might just be worried that you'll go away and forget her and find someone "better". It also seems like there are some trust issues. I once read that you see your own personal flaws in others, like friends and stuff. So since she's cheated in previous relationships, she believes that you will. It's this weird mental thing. Sorry I can't explain it better, but I hope this helps.

Answer 2

since im a women and a therapist, i have a very good answer to this question. OK first of all hanging up on your gf isnt very fond of you, you just make her think less and how much you dont care about her. From my point of view i can tell that you care about being with her thats why you ask such a question. Next, the reason why she is doing this is because she cares, or she was hurt in her past relationships, and or shes just fed up with being hurt and she doesnt want to get hurt again. And for her checking up on you, shouldnt really matter because if she is going to be your gf, she can do whatever she wants that has to do with you, and same goes for you. Now i think she is just a bit or a lot worried about losing you, and i think that if she wants to spend time with you, then spend time with her. The way u say how she acts really shows that she is very certain that she has learned her lesson from cheating while back, thats why shes worried that you might hurt her, thats why she wants to check up on you. So my suggestion is let her do whatever she wants, and if you want her to trust you, then let her come and check up on you one day so you can prove to her that your not hurting her, and show her that she is wrong, otherwise if you say no, she will think the opposite and she will be put down because she thinks you dont want her around you or her friends. You should not be mad because she is the one wasting her time for you, be thankful. Trust me take my advice. try it.

Answer 3

You are just now going to college and have so much work to do ahead of you. Give yourself a break and just be friends with guys and gals.

I know it sounds worse than old. But the truth is you only need one girlfriend, and she will be the one you marry. All the rest should be friends.

The kind of behavior that you are talking about is insecure and borders on stalking. If she is on her 4th boyfriend at such a young age, consider how many she will have had by time she settles down.

Consider how many boyfriends you want your wife to have. How many girlfriends do you think a real lady will want you to have?

Again, this sounds old. But Old is what lasts because it is real.

God Bless and good luck.

Answer 4

*deep breath*

ok, so from the sounds of it, you guys are experiencing a little dose of reality. i don't know how far the two colleges are from one another, but things can be worked out.

you both need to sit down and have a deep, down to earth talk. if one starts to get upset/etc. and yells, the other needs to sit patiently until the episode is over, and resume talks.

y'all are having separation fears, navy families go through this. *i'm a sailor's daughter* and my parents whenever they started to get upset with one another, knew that it was the situation of being parted for extended amounts of time that they were mad about.

now that has been said, about the girlfriend. she needs to learn something called trust and honesty. she shouldn't feel the need to "check up" on you, and frankly, it works in vice versa. that's where trust kicks in. and there is a difference between chatting on the phone, and "checking up" on your ever minute routine. if she can't deal with that *and if you can't either* you both might want to rethink the future of the relationship.

i wish you the best of luck, and remember, the key is to communicate! *and not through yelling OR hanging up*

Answer 5

Clearly she has a trust issue (but your obviously aware of that) A healthy relationship does not consist of having to "check up" on people while they are at study groups.. thats ridiculous. If she cant trust you... and not cause drama.. shes probably not worth it. You can either learn this now.. or deal with alot of drama and break up later... but your definately not gonna end up together if shes like that. But your young and will learn that eithe rway.

Answer 6

There are all sorts of "red flags" here. She has emotional issues, trust issues, possessiveness issues, maturity issues, just to name a few. When you go away to college, you will meet plenty of different people and you will grow a lot emotionally. Give it time. But for now, I would run in the other direction from this one.

Answer 7

Well, maybe she thinks that if she's done it, you could do it too. Dont be angry. Just be happy to see her.

Answer 8

i think you're right. she is treating you like a little kid.
you should say to her that if she really wants to be in a realationship with you, she has to trust you.

Answer 9

get rid of her... she seems like she is trouble... Plus in in college go out and meet better woman....