How do I keep someone from tracking me down after a move?

Question

I'm getting ready to move and prefer to keep my ex from tracing where I move, for safety reasons. No, I'm not going to change my name---it's already very common, which helps tremendously. I only use a cell phone and don't plan on having any public phone numbers either. I heard that I could forward my mail to a PO Box, but often times the places that let you do that will also give out your information if pressed enough. I was thinking of forwarding my address to a friend's place and having them forward my mail to my address, but the post office might be able to trace the final address to where I will live.

Essentially, I want to disappear without this person finding me. Any suggestions will be much appreciated.

The cops won't help because I have no definitive evidence he's been behind the harassment and destruction of my property.

What is a PFA?

FIRST of all, it's a HE and not a she!

And no, I'm not changing my hair, etc. None of our friends mingle and I dropped a lot of mine anyway, just to cut all my losses and start over elsewhere easier.

And for the 'Jimmy Hoffa' comment, if you're so smart about knowing how people are not secretive using credit cards, etc., then why don't you divulge all those steps so we can learn from that in the future? Local law enforcement where I live protects the men and there is a police report out on this person because of harassment. Other than that, the police were rude and incredibly unhelpful. When trying to get a copy of the police report, I was sent in circles and no one would help. Even when I contacted the police from their victim's assistance group, they never bothered to return my message. So, the only way a woman can lead a safe life away from a crazy man like this is to start over elsewhere. He has no credit cards of mine, no SS.

AND the reason I'm asking all this about mail forwarding is because it's the number one easy way someone can track down anyone by sending a letter to that address with a comment on the outside requesting the new forwarded addres. Then the letter would be sent back to the original sender with that info. on record with the post office. That's why it's so important I do this right.

Answer 1

Short of going into the witness protection program you seem to be doing the best you can.

Answer 2

Don't give your address to the friend. That's a paper-trail of mail to you that she will snoop out.
Open a PO box at a postal office in a town NEAR where you are moving to, but not in same town you reside in. Have your mail forwarded there for a few months. Yes it's a hassle but you only have to check it every 9 days or so. Then change to another post office a tad closer to you but still not in exact same town. Don't use a local mail store or post express etc.
Don't tell your friends or relatives where you live at for at least a year. You never know, a bit of random conversation could accidentally be overheard by one of her minions.
If she has your social security number... it will be easy to track you. Can you not work and live off savings or work under the table for a while? Try to pay for everything in cash or money orders. Don't use local ATM machines.
Try to move in on a sub-lease deal where you can pay cash to the person you are renting living space from and so their name is on the utilities..
Change your appearance: a different hair cut, grow facial hair if you didn't have it before or shave if you did. Adopt a new style of dress.
If she's a threat to your safety, seriously consider changing your name.

Answer 3

If this person is smart and wiley enough, all it will take is one clue and he could find you. I would check with your local Police Department and see if they could offer you any tips or hints. Presumably, no laws have been broken at this point, so there is very little they can do for you. Why are you concerned about the Post Office tracing your address through forwarded mail? They are not the one you are concerned about and they don't reveal address information to anyone. I wish you luck!

Answer 4

Well, if your ex was abusive, I hope you have a PFA. You can go to the post office and ask them to keep your address confidential (with the exception of law enforcement). I had a similar problem, and I moved three times, and never put in any address change cards. The A**hole still doesn't know where I am.

Answer 5

The only one who ever disapeared without a trace was Jimmy Hoffa! You're not Jimmy Hoffa!
If you rent, use utilities, work, have a credit card, pay a loan, pay anykind of bill, have a post office (anykind) address, pay taxes, you'll be found!!!! Today especially, credit bureaus announce to the public and corporate America any detail about you they get their grimmy little hands on!
As the old saying goes "You can run but you can't hide"!
Unless you're willing to emancipate society and join forces with a pygmy tribe!

Answer 6

if the person is dangerous, then call the cops.