should i make up with my dad?

Question

last june me and my lttle brother stopped seeing our dad because we went on holiday with him and he was really horrible to us he called my little brother a f***in tw*t and he hit me for looking after my aunt who is 40, instead of coming into apub with him, my uncle, and my brother. when i finally did come in i was really upset and was trying to stop crying and he kept saying i bet ur glad u dont have kidz like this. When we finally got home and went back to my mums house (we live with her) i tols her i didnt want to see him any more so we havent seen him for ages.

But i miss everything before this incident he used to be so nice to us and buy us alot of things (not that that matters) i also miss my half sister who is 1 1/2 shall i call and amke up or am i being stupid?

Please help i dont no wot to do <3

also my mum split up with him beacuse he used to hit her and he used to get drunk and angry alot now he has a new family but he doent hit my step mum as much and also im scared for my little sister for when she gets older and if he hits her <3

Answer 1

Sometimes, fathers can be really bitter. My parents are divorced and I had an incident similar to yours and I have never looked at him the same way again... What I do is just see him once a month for dinner and then see him at Christmas. The reason he bought you lots of things, if he is anything like my dad who did the same thing, was to get you to favour him over your mother and move in with him. During the times you could visit you could spend most of your time with your half sister XD

Answer 2

I don't think you are being stupid. That was a hurtful situation. I have had troubles with my dad off and on my whole life. Now, that I'm an adult, I decided to forgive him and try to make the best of it, but at the same time, I keep some emotional distance, because I know he could hurt me again. He's not really going to change, but I don't want to have any regrets.

Answer 3

No you are not being stupid I can give you some advice I gave my daughter when she was young and was going through the same thing with her dad. You have every right to get angry at the things we adults do, but we can't change anything unless we know what it is that has gotten you upset, so if you are angry with your father tell him and he may be willing to try and change that behavior.
Sometimes we adults forget that the children are just that children and they can not be expected to behave and please us all the time. I wish you luck with your descion and just remember that your dad loves you and sometimes we adults get upset and its not the children but the children are the ones who feel it.

Answer 4

I don't feel a parent has any right to treat their children with abuse or disrespect. People don't usually change, but they can modify their behavior if they really want to make a relationship work. And, has he tried to call you? I know I couldn't go a day or two without hearing from one of my four boys. They don't live at home, except for one. They are on their own and always stay in touch. If I don't hear from them, I call...............The phone rings on both ends!!!!!

Answer 5

Yes you should make up, you never know what is in store for you or him.
but that doesn't mean that you have to visit and stay for weekends or anything, start off by just talking on the phone or sending letters, sometimes it is best to start out with letters, so you can say exactly what has bothered you and why your not seeing him, through a letter no one can interrupt you.

Answer 6

He's your dad so I'd at least give him a chance. Call him on the phone and see how it goes from there. If he is acting dangerous though, I wouldn't go with him again.

Answer 7

Tell him to stop being a dead-beat dad. Threaten to sue for child-support.

Answer 8

If you think he might be abusive to you then just go out to lunch or something. Atleast tell him that you love him and you miss hanging out with him.