After a 7-year on and off relationship, I want to make the first step to commitment. 2 years ago I bought her engagement ring but I realized it wasn't a good time to propose. I love her very much, the love of my life, but also time passes by and seems she doesn't know what she wants from me, from our relationship. I would gladly settle in and love her forever. She is divorced and has a 15 year old son. Chemistry and relationship is great between the 3 of us.
Today is her birthday and I would like her to remember this day into the future. If she says NO it's goodbye and time to move on.
2007-03-10 04:22:47 · 26 answers · asked by Bright 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Okay; this may sound harsh but it's really logical.
Seeing as how she has a 15 year old son -- she must be of age of marriage. She should have no reason to say NO to you after a 7 year relationship if she really loves you and sees a future with you.
You should take her and her son out to dinner to a nice lavish resteraunt (definitly include the son; if you want her to say yes... If you want her to answer from her own heart then just leave the son out of it)
After dinner; have a dance with her while you wait for desert.
After the cake propose to her on one knee.
Yeah she may be old and you may have known her for a long time; but she still deserves Class A treatment at a 5 star resteraunt.
I suggest getting her a corsage, chocolate, or roses before the date.
I'm sure she'll say yes if you pick the right way to propose to her and say the right words...
"I love you... I've loved you all along.. I love our stupid little fights.. I love our beautiful kodak moments; I love you hair; I love your eyes; I love your soul; and I love our friendship. Our friendship means everything to me; that's why I want to take this to the next level. You are my everything. And I want to be your everything as well. I can't settle for anything less. I won't settle for anything less. __________(insert girls name here)__________ will you marry me? Will you let me be your everything?"
If she says "NO" to that; then it's time for you to move on to someone who's going to commit and settle for you. You made it clear in the proposal that you won't settle for being anything less than everything to her.
Since it's her birthday; you might want to Invite her son if you're going to do it.
You can even make dinner for her. and propose to her in another way; here's a great idea....
For desert; buy her a large cake.. and have the baker write your proposal on the cake.. After you say what you have to say... bring out the cake and lean down on one knee with the cake in your hand for her to read.. Chocolate always hits a womans heart ;)
2007-03-10 05:11:33 · answer #1 · answered by thepenpal 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think 7 years is long enough that you should know each other well and not need to hesitate or walk on eggshells, even if your relationship has been rocky.
If you are ready to ask, you have nothing to lose. Think about it...do you want to have to always wait for the "right time" to talk to her throughout your relationship?!
You are ready, and I think you should ask whenever you like, including her birthday. She may find it very sweet.
If she says no, it was meant to be. She may also just need some time to think. Let her. If she wants to be with you, she will come around.
You sound like a very sweet guy, and I wish you luck! 2 years is a longtime to wait for someone you love. Don't waste another day. Propose already!!!!
2007-03-10 14:51:07 · answer #2 · answered by reginachick22 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that would be a wonderful birthday surprise.
If she says no, then you really need to sit and have a serious conversation about what she wants from this relationship. I think the plan of you moving on if the next step isn't what she wants is very good, but from experience that ultamatium is hard to actually follow through with.
I pray for all three of you that she says yes, because starting your life with someone that you love completely is an amazing feeling, nothing can beat it.
If you need to chat, send me a msg.
Take care!
2007-03-10 13:21:08 · answer #3 · answered by Krissy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is difficult to know who is dragging their feet here. Is it her or you? Sounds like it is you. Relationships change and evolve constantly. You need to be more flexible. We cannot always put into words what we need. After seven years you should be a bit intuitive about this kind of thing. Communication though, is the real key. If you sense tension and dissatisfaction, open a dialogue about it.
While you've been dragging your feet her son has practically grown up. No doubt she would have appreciated being a legal family years ago; while her son was young enough to appreciate your full time guidance. Since you have a good relationship, it is not too late.
If you think she might say no to your proposal, don't ask her today. Wait until tomorrow. You don't want a bad memory attached to her birthday for her to remember, do you?
Good luck.
2007-03-10 12:36:18 · answer #4 · answered by amazingly intelligent 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
take her out this evening for a birthday candlelight dinner and ask her to marry you and give her the engagement ring. Tell you love her very much, she is the love of your life, and you cannot see life without her. If she hesitates and refuses, then ask her why. Tell her that you feel that it is the right time to get married and you just want to make it right and complete and show your commitment to her. I don't think her saying no will remove her from your mind and heart, but tell her that it is time and you will wait a while for her answer, but you want to make a life; otherwise you will move on. But give her a chance to decide, but don't let it go years again...it will have to be soon and set a date for marriage. Best of Luck
2007-03-10 17:07:54 · answer #5 · answered by cardgirl2 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your looking for a commitment of marriage, which seems to be a big thing for you.
It is not a good thing to put in your mind a do it or not approach in determining whether you stay or not with this lady.
When you bought her the engagement ring..."you" decided it was not a good time to propose. She in turn has been waiting 2 years for you to do this.
Maybe on her birthday it won't be a good time for her, and maybe she will say no.
I think something inside you has been keeping you back from asking her to begin with.
Is it possible you have been looking for reasons to prolong the question?
Sorry, don't mean to come across harsh, I am just wondering if your being totally honest with yourself, with what you want. Not whether she is feeling a certain way about it all.
When you do ask her, if you ask her with all your heart and let her know how much you want her to be your wife, then she in her heart, will sense the truth...or not the truth, of your true feelings.
Best of luck.
2007-03-10 12:43:52 · answer #6 · answered by sweetcitywoman2002 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Don't present it as an ultimatum at the time, but if she doesn't accept the ring, you know what she's telling you. 7 yrs is long enough to wait. If she isn't ready for more after all this time, she never will be.
You answer your own question in the last line. This is how you really feel. Go with that; you only get one life.
2007-03-10 12:51:58 · answer #7 · answered by anna 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if you feel today is a good time to propose to her, I say go for it. There is never a right time to ask someone to marry you, it is just supposed to happen. This will be the best way to determine how she really feels about you as well. If she is ready to commit and is happy with you, she will say yes. If after seven years she has doubts and says no, i agree. say goodbye!
2007-03-10 12:27:45 · answer #8 · answered by Rebekah B 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think you should do it! If your completely ready, then she needs to be on the same page as you. The only thing is.. i wouldnt do it on her b-day. I got proposed to on a random day and now that day is a special day to us. You just need to make sure that you are ready.. and it sounds like you are. Maybe the reason she doesnt seem to know what she wants, is maybe because she doesnt think your ready to take the big step. Maybe its pushing her away a bit. Well very very good luck and congrats! Keep me posted on how it goes!
2007-03-10 12:30:46 · answer #9 · answered by afireinsidexxx77 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would go for it. Like you said if she says no then it's goodbye. 7 Years seems like enough time to really know if you want to be with that person forever and today will be the day to find out if she feels the same.
2007-03-10 12:28:16 · answer #10 · answered by BlahBlahBlah 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋