I don't know if anyone has this problem or not, but I'm living at home with my parents and I always wanted...?

Question

to feel like a family...but that just doesn't feel possible. My parents are just so caught up in the working world; I tried telling my parents, but to them I'm just complaining. No one can ever possibly understand me? The issue is not my parents. I would care less. What I really want to konw if there are others who feel this way? I hate feeling like life can be better, but it won't. I tried really hard; it's clear that I won't get that sense of family that I want. I just have to wait til I get older and develop my own family. So, it's like life sucks now but I will be all good in the distant future.

It's not attention that I want. I just feel so distant from my family, and I don't know if that will ever change. Family is just so important to me. I guess...i dunno

Answer 1

Unfortunately I thin alot of us have felt that way at one time or another. You are not alone in this, and yes you'll be fine, if also a little resentful towards your parents. Try not to though. You have it in you to get more out your situation than you do now. Make yourself happy, and I'll bet your family will not be able to help but to catch a little of that!

Answer 2

I understand where your coming from I'm 16 years old, parents hate each other and still live in the same house and i sure as hell haven't ever had the family thing going on. Truthfully I've never really had parents who act like parents, my mum wont move out because she wants our house and truthfully couldn't care for my emotional safety or just my over all wellbeing. What I've learn't to rely on is my friends, they are what keep me going. There like my back up system because i know they will always be there, all you need is one person in the world to truly love you and and care about you and that could be anyone, a best friend or a lover either way that one person believing in you can give you the faith just to wake up in the morning. I know it does for me, my friends are my family and as the saying goes "Friends are family you get to choose"

Answer 3

Actions speak louder then words.

And guess what, your not the only one who is being deprived of the good things that come out of a family being together, your parents don't know about what it is like either, because they are not experiences it.

How can you miss what you don't know.

Time for you to show them what it is they are missing.
Don't expect miracles. Maybe not even in the first year. But, give them memories to look back on.

Throw a barbecue every 3 months, until they show up. And if they don't show up....take pictures of the empty sits with the plate filled with food, and send it to them.
Don't get upset that they did not show up if they don't, just do it again, and keep your fingers crossed and keep pushing for this family thing to work. People can be tough to break through seeing things a certain way.
Find other ways to get your family together.
You just can't ask them to try to get together, because they truly don't know how themselves.

Sounds to me like your going to have to be the back bone to making this work. Don't give up. ok!!! I did the same with my family. It is well worth the heartbreak and heartache of trying then the heartbreak and heartache of walking away without hope.

Answer 4

I think that is more common an issue that you think. Try to come up with a solution - sometimes parents need help adressing things too. What about a game night, or a certain night of the week that is considered to be a "work-free" zone, even if you just watch a movie and eat pizza? If they are really wrapped up in their work, talk to another adult such as a relative or a teacher... if your parents hear it from another adult it may actually hit home.

Answer 5

oh my gosh, i feel your pain!! I have the same problem. I really hate it, because my parents are always gone, and when they're home, all they do is talk on their cell phones to work ppl or are working on projects for work. and if they're not doing those things, they're either sleeping or talking about work. unfortunantly, i've kinda picked up the habit from them... I started talking on the phone all the time, leaving school at 530 when the library closes, because home is so dissapointing, and im always on the computer... Every once in a while I get these times where i really need to relax, an just going outside and playing with my dog really helps, going on walks with her too (if you don't have a dog/other type of pet, get one, they are great substitutes for family,lol)

Answer 6

I really understand how you feel. I sometimes feel the opposite of you, in that I wished I could do more to make more money to pay our bills (my husband has to work a lot of overtime just for us to pay our bills every month.)

He always tells me just to be with our two kids and that is the most important thing right now. He works long hours and into the nite. I love my children and before I met my husband I was a single mom, so I could never be home with them as much as I am right now.

I really feel like parents today have to choose between the quatilty time that you long for and the nice things that you like at Christmas. I just hope that you can see the two sides to your situation and that maybe they felt (or have to have two incomes) to pay the bills, both of them need to work. Your parents really do love you, if they are anything like me.....

I often told my friends at school that I was adopted, if that shows you that you are not alone.....I was in grade school and wished I was in a different family.

Answer 7

A spiritual connection will help you to make sense of your world. A good book is the 4 agreements by Miguel Ruiz, this short and easy book will help you make sense of your situation.

Answer 8

I think perhaps that feeling you want to accomplish is a spiritual feeling. Of completness. The only place I ever found it was in my relationship with Jesus Christ. He is truly the Alpha and Omega of relationships. You get to know Him by talking to Him. It is called prayer.

Answer 9

You're older, you shouldn't need that much attention, they are at the ages where they have to work their butts off now, so they aren't eating dog food and trying to live on a social security check. Welcome to the real world where it's no longer your parent's responsibility to meet your emotional needs. It's your job.

Answer 10

while my mother was always involved in my life. i kinda think there is a point when there is too much attention. So being sheltered does not always prove to be good, the outside world is completely wicked and will tear to pieces anyone who does not dance to their beat.