last night me and my boyfriend went out with a few people to the pub who are at my college but who he hasn't seen in a while. he has this friend who he used to be really close to but they grew apart - he was there (call him John*). John talked to my boyfriend the whole night and I couldn't get a word in edgeways - he was talking about bikes and other lad stuff. i felt awful 'cos it was like i was being left out and John didn't give me the chance to talk at all. john has tried to split us up before (don't know why though..) and has done it through the bikes..he asked my boyfriend if he wanted to go riding sometime......shoud i be worried he'll try it again?
we won't split up..but i don't want him to try to come between us again cos it puts a lot of strain on our relationship and makes me really upset.
what should i do?
2007-03-10 04:16:39 · 17 answers · asked by rach 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Talk to your boyfriend about Johnny. You don't want him messing you guys up. Be honest about it. Tell him you think he's a problem for your relationship. If he really likes you, he'll understand. I hope this helps.
nicole
2007-03-10 04:19:35 · answer #1 · answered by nicole 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think you shouldn't get in the way of your boyfriend and John. If your bf goes riding with him, let him go and wish them both a good time.
Like you said, they have not seen each other in a long time and were good friends. That is why John was monopolizing his time. He missed him. I am sure you see your bf a lot. Let him have his guy time.
It is important in relationships for each person to have their own interests. They should preserve their friendships that they have outside the couple too. It is healthier this way.
Try not to see John as a threat. He isn't. Just like you don't want to do "lad stuff" with your boyfriend, I am sure your boyfriend doesn't want to do "couples stuff" with John.
Good luck!
2007-03-10 12:28:24 · answer #2 · answered by Contessa 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry about it. Guys sometimes just need to hang out with other guys.
I don't know why "john" would try to split you up. are you sure that is what he is doing?
If he is always talking to your bf about bikes it probably has nothing to do with you. He just likes bikes.
Think about when you talk to your friends. You talk about stuff you like and your bf probably cant get a word in either. You are just being paranoid. It is just dudes talkin about bikes.
If they wanna hang out then let them hang out. If you try to keep him from his friends then John will probably think that you are being controling and he really will try to break you up. (I have seen it happen)
Take it from me (a dude) there is nothing to worry about
just chill out.
I hope I have helped
LLAP
2007-03-10 12:39:54 · answer #3 · answered by James R 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your boyfriend. Explain to him that you felt left out and that you felt you weren't even wanted there, even though you were! Tell him how you feel about "John" and how you want to be with him, but don't like the way you get treated when this guy comes around! Honesty is the best answer! He'll understand!
2007-03-10 12:20:29 · answer #4 · answered by JD84 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
now this guy john is he just around 4 awhile or does he live near u, if he lives near u u should worry, but if he was just visiting it b ok let them go out & enjoy, y did john & the boyfriend stop talking to begin with
2007-03-10 12:20:33 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Let them talk and have their time together. Part of being in a relationship is spending time apart and letting your signficant other spending time with their friends. If he hasn't seen him in awhile let them have their time to talk and hang out. Everyone has and needs friends, they may not hang out with them all the time, time to time they do want to hang out and talk. That's good b/c we all need breathing room. Sometimes if you suffocate your guy/girl they want to leave you b/c you don't let them have time for anything, just being with you. Their friends will be like," Yo man, your chick don't give you time for anything, she just wants you under her skirt holding onto her leg." When he says that, he's basically dissing him and saying that he's whooped. Hey, if you have him whooped that's good; he's not going anywhere. " John" doesn't sound like he's trying to break ya'll up, he just wants to talk to his friend and you need to let them. They grew up together, they need their time to do their thing.
2007-03-10 12:28:07 · answer #6 · answered by maneene_goddess 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Tell your boyfriend how you feel about him being friends with your old friend. And tell him why. Then you need to tell your old friend the same thing. Get your feelings out there if you want them known.
2007-03-10 12:22:34 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
talk to ur boyfriend and tell him that u are really uncomfortable about him hanging out with john.. tell him ur reason.. and tell him that you are scared about it.. and he should realize how u feel and make the right decision.. and he 's a prick for not letting u get into t he convo too
2007-03-10 12:21:47 · answer #8 · answered by sexy sexy 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Do you trust your boyfriend?
If you do, you have nothing to worry about.
This of that situation like this: two buddies catching up. That's it. There's nothing more to the situation.
You can't control everything about your boyfriend, but you can trust him.
2007-03-10 12:19:13 · answer #9 · answered by FaZizzle 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
helo friend !!
Just tell your man about your concern about the relationship between you and him. Make him understand that u really need him in your life.
talk to your man ..... and he' ll take care of everything .
2007-03-10 12:25:22 · answer #10 · answered by SUBHA CHANDRAKUMAR 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋