I met a guy from an online dating site yesterday. I tried to be open minded as I usually don't go out with guys who are not quite divorced and have small children (he has 3 of them) but we s emed to have alot in common and he does live within a reasonable distance unlike most of the guys that contact me that live 40-50 miles away. We met for coffee and then had lunch and seemed to have fun together. Afterwards we were driving around and he kept asking me what I wanted to do and I was blank because I think a 2 hour date for a first meeting is sufficient and after lunch, what is there to do in the middle of the day, and besides I had things to do the rest of the day. I had presumed he was going to work after we parted, but apparently he had a free schedule. He held my hand when he was driving and I felt a little uncomfortable with someone I had just met as it seems most guys are trying to get sex right away nowdays. He left me a message that we arent' a fit and blocked me.
2007-03-10 03:36:56 · 17 answers · asked by reallyfedup 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Do you think this guy lost interest because we just aren't a match or because I didn't get physical with him? He didnt do anything but hold my hand but I find that a little forward with someone you have known an hour.
2007-03-10 03:38:07 · update #1
My guess is that he somehow felt rejected by you, so he got his revenge by beating you to the punch and rejecting you first. It was unfair to block you, though.
2007-03-12 07:48:06 · answer #1 · answered by AnOrdinaryGuy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"Ms. Really",
From reading your explanation, I get the impression first of all, this guy "picked" up on the "vibes" you sent out when you felt uncomfortable. Also, I think he might have hoped for some "action" and took it as a rejection maybe when you said later he sent you a message then blocked you.
Sounds like going out in the beginning started out normal but he had a certain "expectation", you know, and some guys take it the wrong way when they realize girls react negatively to their "motives".
I agree with you, though about hand holding and contact like that is a little "early" in the Courtship. It's good that you stick with what you believe in! If the guy can't handle the way you are it's his problem,NOT YOURS! There are other guys around who would go at your "pace" and you can find them.
If anything, if the "online guy" genuinely likes you, he will contact you and ask you out again, BUT, don't wait around. It would be nice, though if he thought things over and you both could continue to date! Ya never know!
Keep meeting others in the meantime. You're doing great and letting people know your "Boundries!" Don't SETTLE for just anyone.
Good Luck!
2007-03-10 03:57:31 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl, pick yourself up and move on. This guy obviously was moving way too fast. Holding your hands after the first date? Not to mention the fact that he's "not quite divorced"? Ok. First of all, I think you can find a single guy who'll take the time to get to know before he starts getting physical. Second of all, first dates don't usually last a whole day, especially with someone you met online. Be careful because some non-single guys take online dating as a way of have clandestine relationships. You don't want to be in the middle of that. He probably noticed you discomfort while he held your hand and decided that you weren't "fit". Again, you can find someone BETTER. Don't waste your time on someone who won't spend the time to truly get to know you. :)
2007-03-10 03:44:45 · answer #3 · answered by Nuela07 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, I'd say there are a multitude of people out there on line everywhere that are looking, looking, looking, all the time. I was in the same boat. I've met women and some didn't have a picture up and didn't know what I was getting into. So when I met them I wasen't attracted at all! I tried to be nice, though, and just go on with the date. But it's hard to tell a girl up front, I'm not attracted to you, especially men. We don't communicate to well. So move on to the next guy.
2007-03-10 03:51:08 · answer #4 · answered by freekin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the guy is not quite divorced and has kids, and you don't usually go that way, I would say you definitely aren't a fit. You're right, a 2 hr date is fine for the first and if you weren't interested in spending more time with him, he probably picked that up.
If you were uncomfortable, I don't see that being blocked is a problem. I certainly wouldn't want to spend a lot of time with someone who has expectations I can't or don't want to meet, and makes me uncomfortable.
There are plenty more guys around. Find one who is free and easygoing. When you stop looking hard is when they usually appear.
2007-03-10 03:44:04 · answer #5 · answered by anna 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Who's confused here, ME or YOU ?? YOu spend all that space itemizing all the negatives about this guy, including the fact that he's MARRIED, now you're complaining and acting insulted because he says you ain't "The One"?
All that confusion notwithstanding, ditch the on-line dating stuff and consider yourself magnificently lucky that you didn't get raped or killed. Here's what I suggest if you want to meet eligible men:
1. Groom immaculately
2. Dress nicely
3. Spend an hour a day in the library
4. Spend an hour a day at the gym
5. Honor your parents
6. Volunteer a few hours a week for a worthy cause
7. Help someone every day
8.Go to Church
9.Invite your friends to Church
10.Take group dance lessons
11.SMILE
Good Luck
2007-03-10 03:49:32 · answer #6 · answered by snvffy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You didn't do anything wrong! If you just felt uncomfortable, then theirs absolutely nothing wrong with that.
Whether or not he was just trying to get into your pants, you weren't at the level of physical attraction that he was in and there's nothing wrong with that. He probably didn't think you were fit because he wanted to move faster then you did.
I'm not sure but just because you didn't want to move fast, doesn't mean he had a good reason to reject you.
Sounds like he's just a non-understanding a ss.
Sorry, and goodluck! I'm sure you'll find someone who's willing to take things slower.
2007-03-10 03:43:26 · answer #7 · answered by Akilllaaaa 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Was he a fit as far as you are concerned, or are you not taking rejection well?
It seems to me from the details you gave that you already were making compromises for this guy.
Also you felt uncomfortable with how forward he was in his approach.
So why are you so concerned with his rejecting you? Is it because he beat you to it? If it wasn't a match then it wasn't.
The reason he rejected you 1st was because he came to the realization before you.
I would let it go if it were me. If you can't, then I would be more concerned with why you can't let it go then why it wasn't a good match in the 1st place. :-)
2007-03-10 03:56:28 · answer #8 · answered by No More 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
His actions seem very weird, I think he wanted to have to sex with you but just couldn't muster the courage to ask. Why on earth did you go driving around with him like that? Do you realize how much you put yourself at risk by doing that? You should have ended the date right after lunch. Please be more careful in the future.
2007-03-10 03:42:32 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your lucky he "dumped" you. Count your blessings, that guy is
trouble, in more ways than 1. He isn't divorced, he has 3 kids
he is holding your hand, like he's a romantic...yet he "dumps"
you after just 2 hrs together ? Your Lucky. He's not for you.
2007-03-10 03:47:49 · answer #10 · answered by CraZyCaT 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't let him rent space in your head. Move on, move on, move on... And yes, as a guy, I know that guys sometimes are just wanting sex. So, be careful. And you might not have been his "type". Just like you might meet a great guy who says all the right things but when you see him, he's just not your type.
2007-03-10 03:43:28 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋