I am babysitting and I what to make them laugh!!
2007-03-10 03:00:39 · 7 answers · asked by Al 3 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Thank you all for you jokes the kids loved him!!!
2007-03-10 04:25:52 · update #1
Hello Brace Space. Ha Ha. some fun kid jokes
Q: Why do dogs bury bones in the ground?
A: Because you can't bury them in trees!
Q: Why did the poor dog chase his own tail?
A: He was trying to make both ends meet!
Q: What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a rose?
A: A collie-flower!
Q: Why do dogs wag their tails?
A: "Because no one else will do it for them!"
Q: Why didn't the dog speak to his foot?
A: Because it's not polite to talk back to your paw!
Q: What is the dogs favorite city?
A: New Yorkie!
Q: Who is the dogs favorite comedian?
A: Growlcho Marx!
Q: What did the cowboy say when the bear ate Lassie?
A: "Well, doggone!"
Q: What happened when the dog went to the flea circus?
A: He stole the show!
Q: How can if you have a stupid dog?
A: It chases parked cars!
Q: What do you get if you cross a dog with Concorde?
A: A jet setter!
Q: What do dogs have that no other animal has?
A: Puppy dogs!
Q: Why did the dachshund bite the woman's ankle?
A: Because he was short and couldn't reach any higher!
Q: Where do Eskimos train their dogs?
A: In the mush room!
Q: Why did the snowman call his dog Frost?
Because frost bites!
Q: What do you get if you cross a giraffe with a dog?
A: An animal that barks at low flying aircraft!
Q: What do you call an alcoholic dog?
A: A whino!
Q: What is the difference between Father Christmas and a warm dog?
A: Father Christmas wears a whole suit, a dog just pants!
Q: When is the most likely time that a stray dog will walk into your house?
A: When the door is open!
Q: Why don't dogs make good dancers?
A: Because they have two left feet!
Q: What is a dog's favorite sport?
A: Formula 1 drooling!
Q: What do you get if you take a really big dog out for a walk?
A: A Great Dane out!
Q: Where does a Rottweiller sit in the cinema?
A: Anywhere it wants to!
Q: What did the angry man sing when he found his slippers chewed up by the new puppy?
A: "I must throw that doggie out the window!"
Q: What kind of dog does Dracula have?
A: A bloodhound!
Q: Why did the dog wear white sneakers?
A: Because his boots were at the menders!
Q: What is a dog's favorite food?
A: Anything that is on your plate!
Q: What is the only kind of dog you can eat?
A: A hot dog!
Q: What kind of dog sounds like you can eat it?
A sausage dog!
Q: What do you do if your dog eats your pen?
A: Use a pencil instead!
Q: What do you get if you cross a dog and a cheetah?
A: A dog that chases cars - and catches them!
Q: What happens when it rains cats and dogs?
A: You can step in a poodle!
Q: What sort of clothes does a pet dog wear?
A: A petticoat!
Q: What do you get if you cross a dog and a lion?
A: A terrified postman!
Q: What happened to the dog that ate nothing but garlic?
A: His bark was much worse than it's bite!
Q: What is a dogs favorite flower?
A: Anything in your garden!
Q: What dog wears contact lenses?
A: A cock-eyed spaniel!
Q: What's a dog favorite hobby?
A: Collecting fleas!
Q: What did the hungry Dalmatian say when he had a meal?
A: That hit the spots!
Q: What do you get if you cross a Rottweiller and a hyena?
A: I don't know but I'll join in if it laughs!
Q: Why do you need a licence for a dog and not for a cat?
A: Cats can't drive!
Q: What do you call a dog in the middle of a muddy road?
A: A mutt in a rut!
Q: What do you get if you cross a dog with a blind mole?
A: A dog that keeps barking up the wrong tree!
Q: What do you call a happy Lassie?
A: A jolly collie!
Q: What do you call a nutty dog in Australia?
A: A dingo-ling!
Q: What dog loves to take bubble baths?
A: A shampoodle!
Q: How do you catch a runaway dog?
A: Hide behind a tree and make a noise like a bone!
Q: What dogs are best for sending telegrams?
A: Wire haired terriers!!
Q: What kind of dog does a vampire prefer?
A: Any kind of bloodhound!
Q: What kind of dog sniffs out new flowers?
A: A bud hound!
Q: What kind of meat do you give a stupid dog?
A: Chump chops!
Q: How many seasons are there in a dogs life?
A: Just one, the moulting season!
Q: What do you call a dog with no legs?
A: It doesn't matter what you call him, he still won't come!
Q: Why is it called a "litter" of puppies?
A: Because they mess up the whole house!
Q: How do you stop a dog smelling?
A: Put a peg on it's nose!
Q: What is the best time to take a Rottweiler for a walk?
A: Any times he wants to!
Q: When is a black dog not a black dog?
A: When it's a greyhound!
Q: How do you feel if you cross a sheepdog with a melon?
A: Melon-collie!
Q: What do you get if cross two young dogs with a pair of headphones?
A: Hush puppies!
Q: What do you call a litter of young dogs who have come in from the snow?
A: Slush puppies!
Q: What do you get if you cross a cocker spaniel, a poodle and a rooster?
A: Cockerpoodledoo!
Q: What do you call a sheepdog's tail that can tell tall stories?
A: A shaggy dogs tale!
Q: Why do dogs run in circles?
A: Because its hard to run in squares!
Q: How did the little Scottish dog feel when he saw a monster?
A: Terrier-fied!
Q: What do you get if you cross a gun dog with a telephone?
A: A golden receiver!
Q: What do you get if you cross a Beatle and an Australian dog?
A: Dingo Starr!
Q: What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a jelly?
A: The collie wobbles!
Q: What do you call a black Eskimo dog?
A: A dusky husky!
Q: What do you get if you cross a dog with a frog?
A: A dog that can lick you from the other side of the road!
Q: When does a dog go "moo"?
A: When it is learning a new language!
Q: What happens to a dog that keeps eating bits off of the table?
A: He gets splinters in his mouth!
Q: What kind of dog chases anything red?
A: A bull dog!
Q: What kind of dog wears a uniform and medals?
A: A guard dog!
Q: What do you call a dog in jeans and a sweater?
A: A plain clothes police dog!
Q: What do you get if you cross a dog and a skunk?
A: Rid of the dog!
Q: What do you get if you cross a computer and a Rottweiller?
A: A computer with a lot of bites!
Q: What do you get if you cross a dog with a kangaroo?
A: A dog that has somewhere to put its own lead!
Q: What do you get if you cross a dog and a sheep?
A: A sheep that can round itself up!
See ya later Brace Space
2007-03-10 05:07:08 · answer #1 · answered by ♥ Jennie ♥ 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Aw, that's very sweet of you. Okay...
Q: What kind of monkey can fly?
A: A hot air baboon!
Q: How can you tell that carrots help your eyesight?
A: You've never seen a bunny wear glasses!
Q: Why did the computer go to the doctor?
A: It had a virus!
Q: What happened to the dog that swallowed a firefly?
A: It barked with de-light!
Q: Why do birds fly south in the winter?
A: Because it's too far to walk!
Q: What is the longest word in the dictionary?
A: The word smiles because there is a "mile" between each s! (lol, get it?)
Q: Why was the man fired from the M&M company?
A: Because he threw away all the M&M's that had W's on them!
Q: What has 5 eyes and is lying on the water?
A: Mississippi River!
Q: What do you call a cow with no feet?
A: Ground beef!
Eh, I know they're corny. These were all I could think of. I just read a joke book yesterday! Good luck!
2007-03-10 11:30:57 · answer #2 · answered by ♥ Mischa S. ♥ 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
only two I could think of and they were from a movie I watched.
joke 1:
You: knock knock
Kids:who's there?
You:the interrupting cow
Kids: the interrup... You:Mooooo!
joke 2:
What do you call cheese that's not yours?
Nacho cheese!
heeheehee...they never cease to amuse me..Good luck!
2007-03-10 11:49:18 · answer #3 · answered by aetherdiamone 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why are big-nosed people so cheap?
Because air is free.
2007-03-10 11:16:51 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
what happens when a duck flies upside down?
he quacks up
2007-03-10 11:06:00 · answer #5 · answered by ? 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Where does the general keep his armies?
In his sleevies!
2007-03-10 11:05:44 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
How did Hitler tie his shoes?
In little nazis.
2007-03-10 11:04:29 · answer #7 · answered by Wolfpack 3 · 1⤊ 3⤋