Let me first introduce myself. I'm an engineering PhD student at the one of the top 5 universities in US. Lately, I've notice that whenever I ask a girl out at the beginning everything goes fine until she asks me about my nationality. I'm from Iran. I have gray-green eyes and rather pale skin. Iranians are not Arab and don't speak Arabic so my accent is different from an Arab's. All these together give people the wrong pre-assumption that I'm from somewhere but middle east. As soon as I mention my nationality every thing changes. So, please tell me if at all the nationality of the person you are dating is important for you and if you feel the same if you find out this person is from for example Iran.
2007-03-10 02:14:57 · 15 answers · asked by Mashti 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Unfortunately, people in this country have a problem with anyone middle eastern. I'm sorry, but for now that is the way it is. People will associate you with terrorism if they know you are Iranian before they get to know you. I KNOW, it sucks, but it sucking doesn't change reality. It's mainly a trust ussue, and it has little to do with you personally, but everything to do with your nationality. And you shouldn't be ignorant to this reality. Do yourself a favor and stop acting like people aren't racist toward anyone different from themselves (and in this case, specifically towards anyone of middle eastern heritage). I assume you watch the news and read the blogs. And as a man of color, I can tell you that it'll save you a lot of grief. If you want people to know you for you and not your nationality, don't talk about your nationality. It's very simple. I am a multi-racial dude, and if I am getting to know someone, I make it a point NOT to go into my race, or race in general. If you want to get to know me as a person, you can, but you don't need to based on what race I am, if I am to have any interaction with you. Believe me, if a person is hung up on 'knowing' your race or nationality, you don't really need this person in your life. You need to associate and interact with people who will want to know you based on the person you are and what you are doing in your life, the fact that you do not look Arab, nor are you even Arab to begin with will help you develop a way to describe yourself without going into where you are from or what your nationality is. When you are certain a person is comfortable enough with you for you to go into where you are from, you will know. But you don't have to say anything in the beginning, and you should have to either.
Anyway, that's my perspective. I'm not trying to offend you or anything, I'm just keeping it real with you. I Hope my insight helps.
2007-03-10 02:30:31 · answer #1 · answered by mixedup 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you can explain and explain that you're not "scientifically" Arabic, but if it takes all of that sophisticated explaining, then they're going to believe you're Arabic anyway. I mean, if I look like a certain nationality, but tell a person that I'm of another nationality that I don't physically resemble, it usually doesn't change anything. Just lie about your nationality. If you can pass as someone else, that's actually a plus! I know so many people that look like a completely different nationality than they are, but they never use that to their advantage. I know a lot of half-Korean, half-White people that look totally Hispanic, and some look 100% Japanese, but they never do any pretending. I'm confounded by this.
2007-03-10 02:59:38 · answer #2 · answered by perfectlybaked 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're going for a PhD and can't understand?
Read any news papers lately? The US isn't exactly on good terms with Iran lately and Iranian men don't exactly have a good reputation when it comes to relationships with women...you don't need a slide rule to figure out this equation! Why don't you try saying you're Persian?!
Yes, I do consider a potential mate's native extraction. Culture and society come in to play when I consider the person I'm dating may potentially become my husband and father to my children. His family will obviously have an impact on my life as a wife and mother. Would I be willing to accept another culture's influence on my life? That's why it's a huge consideration.
2007-03-10 02:32:18 · answer #3 · answered by NEWTOME 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course i would date such a person. You are an engineering PhD student for god's sake!
I just think that you dated the wrong girl, that's all, there's nothing wrong with you being an iranian.
2007-03-10 02:27:40 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It shouldn't matter what your nationality is.....all that should matter is you...the person. People need to cut out the b/s about race and all that. It's not about that....it's what is inside that counts. I wish you the best and hope that you can find someone who will love you for you .....the person.
2007-03-10 02:24:16 · answer #5 · answered by Latino Heat 4ever 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think particularly sorry for you. Your brother has the the main suitable option to love who he needs to without interference from you. you have shown what type of character you have by skill of your comments. Shallow, egocentric, self-concentrated, controlling, jealous, you're particularly pitiful! go away your brother on my own. I guess which you would be enormously ticked if he started interfering along with your existence. So get a existence and go away him on my own. attractiveness is interior the attention of the beholder. She could have a attractiveness you have chosen to no longer see.
2016-11-23 19:08:49 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to realize that with the war going on and all the complications that we hear has put a damper on how we feel about the middle east. you dont know who to trust. after all, the terrorists that were here lived next door, and we never knew about them, really. so our perception is that they have lied, conned us into thinking they were caring individuals. when in fact they were just waiting to hurt us. sorry about your dating dilemma.
2007-03-10 02:21:59 · answer #7 · answered by zsaffireblue2003 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well nationality does matter to me. so i guess it is the same for everyone too. i don't know, but don't feel bad about it because u will find somebody who is not afraid or intimidated by ur nationality.
2007-03-10 02:22:42 · answer #8 · answered by ivelisse 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are dating some very ignorant, uneducated women. There are more sensitive women out there who would love to date you! Donna
2007-03-10 02:19:39 · answer #9 · answered by Dee 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That wouldn`t be a problem for me.If you`re cute, if you respect me an if there is chemistry between us, your nationality wouldn`t matter.
2007-03-10 02:22:09 · answer #10 · answered by Lanalee W 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋