I am sitting at my fiance's computer, and I just realised that he has recently created a new basic Myspace profile claiming to be "single" and there for "dating." I was not snooping around; his computer automatically fills in password stuff, and I just happened to notice this new one. What should I do? Honestly my first instinct is to pack and walk.
2007-03-10 01:55:21 · 14 answers · asked by poet 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It definitely sounds like he is on the prowl. I'd ask him why he had the need to update his profile. Does he still want to be known as " fiance" or not? If not, he should respect you enough to tell you.
2007-03-10 02:02:37 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK...I'm talking from experience here.
I also found that my ex was involved in several cyber relationships. I was devastated, still I thought that because it was just over the computer, it was innocent.
Boy, was I wrong.
In my case, I learned that a man who cheats is a man who cheats...doesn't matter where, when or with whom..it doesn't matter if its in a hotel room with your best friend or in a chat room with a complete stranger.
By opening a myspace account (which I think will be the death of our society) and claiming to be single and looking, he's already cheating...certainly, he's lying to you without even opening his mouth..without you even being in the same room.
A woman knows in her gut when something is wrong. SHe also knows when the time is right to split. Handle this as you see fit but remember, if you confront him with the fact that you know about his myspace account, then it'll open up a whole new set of problems. He'll accuse you of snooping. And if you say nothing, you're going to become preoccupied with worry and doubt every time he sits down at this computer....every time he leaves the house or apartment.
Honey, as I see it, you're in a no win situation. Let
s be honest here--no matter what you do it'll hurt....if you leave---pain....if you stay, doubt and suspicion and probably even more heartache.
I can't tell you what to do...that's up to you but I can tell you what I did. I left and never looked back.
My ex...married the woman he was seeing behind my back, three weeks after I moved out.
You cannot have a relationship of any kind without trust. Case closed
Good luck....really.
2007-03-10 02:08:05 · answer #2 · answered by I am Laurie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Confront without accusing. Someone else could have been using his computer? Maybe it is a joke? I dont know what the possibilities COULD be, but it is possible that he isnt there trying to pretend his really is single and there for dating. I would just tell you that it COULD be.
Now, if you find out it is his, then you have to get his perspective and figure out why he was there. Was it a momentary laps and it means nothing and will delete? Is it true that he wants to be single and try dating on myspace? You have to be prepared to deal with that possibility but you will only know if you talk to him.
Do try to not "flip out" as you talk to him because that will put him in a defensive mode and you will not have a very productive conversation. Try this language (or something close)...."I noticed that there is a new myspace account on your computer. What can you tell me about that?"
Good luck!
2007-03-10 02:03:00 · answer #3 · answered by an88mikewife 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Begin snooping. Check back a few times, see what else you can dig up. You have every right to now that something's fishy. Frankly, knowing the way my husband is, I'd walk. But if your fiance hasn't given you any reason to suspect him sooner, give him a chance. A small one. Be VERY vigilant.
Take down the name of the profile ID name. Even if he changes his password, you can still look at it.
Trying really hard to not let my bitterness get the best of me here. Maybe walk... No. No, give him a chance. Maybe. Yeah. Shutting up now before I go into full gear manhating mode.
Good luck, I mean that. It's a really f*cked up feeling.
2007-03-10 02:01:52 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have found my boyfriend (together 3 1/2 yrs) on singles sites and stuff like that. It sucks and I get upset everytime it happens. I don't suggest packing and leaving though. I suggest talking to him about it and see why he felt the need to do this.
My boyfriend has cheated as a result of people he met on these sites so be careful. This is a very easy way to meet people because it's comfortable to talk online and meeting is the next natural step from there. So just watch him...like a hawk!
2007-03-10 02:08:25 · answer #5 · answered by nursegrneyes2002 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Habits die hard. I had the same troubles. For the exception of mine was at the dating sites. I finally confronted him. Did it do any good? I am still here. So it did some.
As long as he has a computer there is going to be this type of thing going on. I would tell him about this profile and ask him to delete it.
He isn't single any more. And every thing he does is your business. He owes it to you to not cheat! This is cheating. You can email me at lady67306@yahoo.com if you'd like.
Good luck
2007-03-10 02:02:36 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave it alone. First of all whether you "meant to" or not, you snooped. You could have hit the close box on the screen and not bothered to read the profile. If he leaves his computer open like that so that you don't need to know his password, he obviously doesn't feel that he is hiding anything from you. If you as about it all it will do is make you look guilty of prying into things that don't concern you.
2007-03-10 02:12:50 · answer #7 · answered by penelopejanepitstop 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Life is too short to be spent with someone you can't trust. It's best that you found out before you guys tied the knot. I would pack and walk...there is no good explanation for this, and how could you trust him from now on?
2007-03-10 02:12:24 · answer #8 · answered by jessica s 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think most people have been in the situation you described. Don't pack and walk. Talk to him in an non-confrontational way; give him the opportunity to talk to you about his reasoning. Ask him and let him know you can handle the truth!
2007-03-10 01:58:37 · answer #9 · answered by tabby_24_2000_2000 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HA! change his homepage into a new one- YOURs!create a Myspace profile that says u r single and dating, put it as his homepage and go somewhere.let him turn on his computer..he'll figure it out immediately.then u'll see
2007-03-10 02:00:23 · answer #10 · answered by disco ball 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋