I am currently seeing a girl who is a bit of a hippy, she is a street performer, plays with hoola hoops, juggles, and does this thing with a firey stick - like twirls it around and stuff. Its very exciting and definatley a turn on to watch.
Shes against shaving body hair, using shampoo, she believes the bodies natural oils clean the body, she rarely showers or baths, and prefers to 'purify herself' in oceans, rivers or lakes - does not involve soap btw
So her cleanliness and hygiene arent the best, and is even worse after she has been performing, which is also the only time I can really see her. Shes a great person, and I really really like her, but shes a bit hard on the nose. We both want to take the next step, but I dont know if I can.
How do I tell her she needs to start washing? And also shaving? And start wearing shoes? And cut out the dreadlocks? And wear a bra?
2007-03-10
01:37:52
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15 answers
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asked by
Anonymous
in
Health
➔ Other - Health
You need to come right out and tell her that she needs to wash her a**, I dont see how you have been able to stmache her this entire time...
2007-03-10 01:44:30
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answer #1
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answered by Anonymous
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Sorry to tell you this but you may just be dating the wrong person because you can't change people. They have to want to change. For her, this is a way of life. It's pretty cool that she is so free and natural but it does go against what society dictates for normal. This is why she probably likes it so much. It sets her apart from others.
If you really like her, have a chat with her nicely telling her what you are struggling with. She may tell you too bad or get annoyed so be prepared for this. I am sure it never is nice to tell anyone they smell. The body does not cleanse itself with it's own oils. It is for keeping skin soft & libricating,not for cleansing. Oil & sweat grow bacteria that needs to be removed regularly- this is what causes the odor. There are natural alternatives to deoderant and soaps. I work in the skincare industry & your body is not self cleaning. It needs some help to stay clean. Shaving is a personal choice, there is no reason to do it really other than fashion. Shoes are for hygenic purposes & a bra- breasts look better supported.
Good luck
2007-03-10 01:53:20
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answer #2
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answered by SpaGirl 5
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You are horribly naieve if you think that you're really going to change her. This is obviously part of her lifestyle, and a decision which she has made, probably against plenty of opposition. You aren't going to "trick" her into doing what you want, and if you're going to threaten and coerce her into it, then you obviously don't really respect her in the first place.
Washing, I can agree with you, is a very good thing. It prevents bacteria and therefore illnesses as well. Check out a natural foods/organic store in your area, and find some earth-friendly soap products, or learn how to make your own from natural materials, and share this with her (keyword there: SHARE, not FORCE).
Shaving, who cares? She's not doing any physical harm to herself by not shaving. It's a personal preference. In many civilizations, women don't shave at all. My sister-in-law is somewhat of a feminist, and she is against shaving entirely. On this one, you need to get over it.
As far as wearing shoes goes, I find it hard to believe that she never wears shoes. Many stores won't let you in if you don't have shoes on. She must have some sort of shoes. They're probably just not ones that YOU would like her to wear. Again, get over it. It's part of her style, who she is.
Dreadlocks may look ridiculous to a lot of people, but again, she's not doing herself any harm by wearing them, it's just not the hairstyle YOU want her to wear.
It sounds to me like you're trying to change a LOT about this girl. You want her to conform to your concept of beauty -- it's not just about hygiene. If it were just the lack of soap/shampoo that you were griping about, I could maybe agree with you... but the shaving, the shoes, the dreadlocks? Don't assume you can change her -- you have to accept that or move on.
2007-03-10 01:54:32
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answer #3
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answered by wnk 5
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Perhaps instead of trying to get her to conform to what you want, you should just find someone who already does. That way you don't have to put in so much time and effort. There are a lot of women who are great people, and know how to bathe and shave.
2007-03-10 06:05:08
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answer #4
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answered by pyro_bs6 2
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I dont think there is anyway of doing that. She is who she is. I am sure people have told her to take a shower, wear a bra, shave, etc, and she didnt do it for them. Unless she is really really in love with you I think it is going to be hard to get a person to change their lifestyle for you.
2007-03-10 01:42:44
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answer #5
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answered by Anonymous
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you don't. if you can't accept it then move on. its not right to change a person to fit what you want. then she wont' be happy. and it will be doomed anyways. good hygiene is always important, but if its not on her top priority, then its not your responsibility to change it. you can voice what you would like her to do. but thats it. let it go from their. she may take offence and walk away. she may say she's not changing and maybe you should walk away. she may change and then in the end will be for the wrong reasons. you went into the relationship knowing who she was and how her hygiene was, if it bothered you then, then you should of stayed away and went with someone who already fit your discription of how a person should present themselves. i'm all for good hygiene. i shower and change clothes every day. but i'm not for people changing somone to fit their own needs and wants. voice it, accept, move on
2007-03-10 01:45:42
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answer #6
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answered by Jody SweetG 5
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you are fighting an uphill battle, I agree that she has issues, but she sounds like a true free spirit and isn't going ot change for you. I suggest that if you feel you need to change her, then she isn't what you want. When you love someone, you should be able to take them the way they are with all their quirks and perks.
2007-03-10 01:57:28
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answer #7
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answered by al b 5
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Flushable moist wipes could in all probability be functional for her. p.c.. some in her in one day bag while she is going to the different homes. I had some subjects with my newborn and her hygiene besides. At that think approximately time she became in Occupational medical care and the OT and that i labored at the same time in this...we referred to each step that desires to be performed for brushing teeth, washing hair, etc and we made a chart. We additionally referred to mundane issues like the thank you to regulate the water temperature in the bathe. i could supervise all of it until she had it down pat. Then we made a chart for the morning and yet another for the evening. each and each activity had its own line: Brush teeth, use flouride rins, floss, brush hair, put in barettes, bathe, dress, positioned towel in abate, etc. The charts have been published in the bathing room and he or she had to envision off each and each merchandise as she did it. in case you have cooperation from Dad, Grandparents, etc. and absolutely everyone posts the chart of their bathing room she would be in a position to get used to the ordinary after a jointly as. We did provide her some incentives alongside the way (X style of days with all projects carried out independently have been given such and this variety of reward). along with her being lots of distinctive places it may be extra of a challenge, yet while absolutely everyone works at the same time it may artwork out ok. it may additionally be a good theory to have the comparable variety of things in each and each residing house (if she makes use of tub gel at as quickly as residing house, a bar of cleansing soap in the different residing house could throw her off slightly)
2016-10-01 21:26:27
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answer #8
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answered by ? 4
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are you serious?
find a new girlfriend who washes and takes care of herself a bit better.
if she looks grubby and smells, imagine what other body parts are going to be like when you're up close.
a snorkel with a gas mask may help.
2007-03-10 04:32:24
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answer #9
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answered by Nicurious 2
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take a shower together. make it a love scene. shaving u wont be bale to push. shoes? but her some cute one sto go with all she wears. bra? buy her a shirt with bra support
2007-03-10 01:42:50
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answer #10
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answered by Mrs.Vick 4
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