She is bipolar, and shops compulsively, therefore on any occasion she always overloads everyone with trinkets and stuff. She also makes beautiful craft items, but the overgifting makes us uncomfortable. ie) she gave us 53 gifts for our birthday, all individually wrapped. it took 2 people to carry the totes out to the car. She has been told it is excessive and 1 gift was more than enough.
2007-03-10 01:03:47 · 7 answers · asked by realjustice 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Thank you, Bearbrai for a very thoughtful and considerate answer. She is both brilliant and yet quite irrational about this thing; no one wants to hurt her feelings. She has spent herself into bankruptcy, and may lose her home. Yet she cannot stop buying multiple items. She does not see the gifting as irrational behavior; when told about it, she just says it gives her such joy to do it. She is narcisstic enough to be doing it partly for attention; she has something of a beauty queen complex. She never catches on when people start excluding her from functions.
2007-03-10 12:13:44 · update #1
The problem is that when you are dealing with someone who is Bi Polar you are talking to a person who fails to understand logic in certain areas.They can be brilliant and quite normal in some regards but completely irrational in others and trying to explain to her the untoward manner of her giving will likely fall on deaf ears if not generate a hostile or at least negative response.
Bi Polar sufferers can be readily antagonized so don't criticize- rather suggest that 'so and so' whilst very thankful of her past generosity 'really could do with/appreciate' and then specify the type of modest gift you or others think suitable.
Encourage her to think of it as her own idea or allow her to choose style/color/size so that she has an input.
Bi Polars need guidance and help in determining norms and will not manage this by themselves-so someone needs to go shopping with her and gently steer her away from excess.
Good Luck
2007-03-10 01:22:13 · answer #1 · answered by bearbrain 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Some people over compensate thinking the more they do...the more it shows they care. Maybe you could suggest that there may be something SPECIAL you want or need that she could buy or make for you. She may get the hint that unnecessary gifts you have no need or room for , could bless someone else she knows. Let her know you admire her generosity and that a special gift that shows she cares would be more useful.
2007-03-10 09:32:21 · answer #2 · answered by judyanncurtis 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I thought bearbrai had a good answer. If she just can't be controlled, though, then donate the excess to charity and it will be a win/win situation.
2007-03-10 16:11:41 · answer #3 · answered by RetroGirl 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Regifting the excess to her and others at future occaisions.
2007-03-10 10:18:49 · answer #4 · answered by Tough Love 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
start making disgusted faces when you open your gifts. perhaps she will get the hint that she is a bad gifter and she might buy less to hide her embarrassment.
2007-03-10 09:13:51 · answer #5 · answered by Elliot A 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Tell her you appreciate the gestures but it makes the rest of you look bad.
2007-03-10 13:42:38 · answer #6 · answered by B"Quotes 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like she is quite "strange". Is she having too much money?
2007-03-10 10:39:19 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋