should i wait to have sex with my bf?

Question

i lost my first time to my ex bf at 19 after only dating him for a couple of months...
i thought i loved him...and he loved me...
but after i had sex with him...it became wat we do when we r alone...and after a while...the relationship just ended becoz he cheated on me
i felt so betrayed as i have lost everything to him...and tilll this day i still regret not have waited to have sex
I've finally gotten into another relationship, i wanna love again like i have neva been hurt...
but part of me just can't trust anymore...fearing of being betrayed and hurt...now i just want to wait and not have sex until after marriage or would thinkin like this drive my bf away?

Answer 1

Ok, here is the deal.

Most guys I been around at work, if they see a beautiful lady, they talk about how to get sex without having to pay the consequences. It's horrible, probably due to all those years of internet, tv, & media in general plastering the hottest nakedest women they can find all over them & telling them this is what they want and need.

I personally, have know several that will "give a woman what she wants", that is to say, promise her marriage, if they will firstly have sex, "to see if that is the right one or not" etc etc.

But 99.9% of the time, if not more, they just use that to make a woman feel guilty, and then drop her.

It is cruel, it is horrid, but it is true. Now, I feel like, if they won't wait for you, they never did want you for more than sex to start with, & therefore they don't love you.

A good guy will ALWAYS wait, although some women put on the stupid glasses & get ahead of themselves & get blinded early in the game, with showers of empty promises given them.

You could not help going through that, had a similar thing happen to me, only in my case, was done that way by a girl.

Best to forget it, let it go, live as though it never were. You want to be happy as though it never were? Well only way to be, is guess what... no-one else can do it for you, but you have to lose your fear enough to let go.

Let yourself actually live, & then, if it does fail? What have you lost but fear itself? Get back up, go fishing, find a better man. I am doing this myself, & hope I get one soon, so best of luck & hope to you.

Peace be with you.

Answer 2

Well, it's your body, hence your decision. Thinking that not sleeping with him will only drive him away is a good point. However, don't ever do it to keep him around. There is absolutely no guarantee he will stick around long term even if you oblige him. You had learnt that once before.

If waiting till after marriage to have sex is what you want, then do so. If your current bf jumps ship cos of this, well, he's not worth it then is he? Good luck.

Answer 3

You said you were relay hurt last time when you found out he was cheating on you after you already had given up your virginity to him? What makes you think this guy is different? What if he ends up hurting you? I think you should wait till marriage. Remember love is patient which means if he realy loves you he will wait.

Answer 4

Absolutley, waiting is actually the best thing to do if you want to have sex. You don't want to have a baby when you have more important things to worry about, like school, work, and money. Wait until you get married to that special someone before you go down that path.

Answer 5

Having sex is a personal choice. It's your body and if you don't want to do it it's your choice and if he can't understand you and he need to move on. Don't get forced into anything you don't want to do. Sex should be the gift you give to the person you want to feel you can trust. Trust yourself and your heart and if it is true and you don't want to have sex until you feel your ready and he doesn't accept that then he isn't worthy of you.

Answer 6

you should have sex because you like it and it feels good to you, not because it's a tool to accomplish a task. girls get used because they use their anatomy to manipulate guys. if you are manipulative, why do you expect guys to play fair? why should they? you make the guy buy your food, pay for your movies, buy you jewelry and when he wants and gets payback, you do the , I was used routine. hey you started it. when women learn how to play fair, guys will, until then, be prepared to be used as you call it. the next time you go out, pay your own way , you are gonna have to pay for that cheeseburger in one way or another. just because you can manipulate a guy doesn't mean you should. libido in a guy isn't a weakness, one day you will wish your guy had more. it's a guys purpose in this world to have sex and like it. don't minimize our gender because we go after what we want and aren't ashamed of it.

Answer 7

First of all if your wanting to wait until after you're married to have sex drives him away it was never meant to be. He should want to be with you for more than what you can offer him in bed. Wait until after you're married. It will be special and mean alot more.

Answer 8

Trust in your own instincts on this one. If you feel that you want to wait, then wait. Don't just have sex because you're scared of losing him, if he leaves then he wasn't the man for you in the first place.

Answer 9

depends on the true reason of wanting to wait until married (ie religious or protecting against being hurt).

but, if a bf is driven away by your beliefs re waiting, then you are on different wavelengths anyway, so don't change to suit him.

if you want to wait, then do so. good on you!

Answer 10

I think you have to do what you believe is right for you so that whether or not this relationship works out, you will not feel like you sold yourself short. If he is here to stay then it won't matter when you eventually have sex with him. Put yourself first on this one.