Should I move out of my over proctective parents house being 21 years old and a college student?

Question

Im currently 20 years old about to turn 21 with some of the best parents ever. They bought me a car, took care of me and gave me a little cash when i needed(didnt ask for it). I love them but they are way too overprotective, and they wont let me grow up. They wont let me get a job cuz they say going to college is my job and they will help me out with cash. I dont want to hurt their feelings or burn any bridges, but Im tired of them not letting me live my life or make any decisions. When they leave for work i feel relaxed and less frustrated with them. Im still in college and not droppin out, but I feel i need to move out to show them I can take care of myself. When I talked about moving out with them, they go crazy and we start arguing...I get so frustrated with them.when start using everything they ever done for me against me, and when they do that, I buckle cuz i have nothin to say about that but Thank you, but you cant protect me forever.. what should i do

Answer 1

your parents are overprotective because they don't want you to go onto the "wrong" path. Start out slowly. They are scared and they do love you. Start out slowly, get a part-time job but don't tell them until you have it. Then sit down with them and talk to them. Start by telling how much you love and respect them and how much you appreciate all that they have done and are still doing for you. Tell them about the job, and express to them that because of what they have taught you and the things that they do you want to "share" in the responsibilities. Tell them that you want to be ready for life by be prepared educationally, emotionally, by working and learning how to pay bills, and be responsible in every way. Your parents don't realize what they are "not" showing you. Which in the future the only one it will hurt the most is you. I know because it's what happened to me. The hardest parts in my life was not knowing how to handle reality and it can really affect you in ways you didn't think it could. Take it step by step always keeping the lines of communication open. Best of luck to you!

Answer 2

Sounds to me like you have it made. What decisions won't they let you make? I also have been told by my kids that I am over protecting. Being a parent you want the best for your children and even when they become adults you still want to protect them from dangers the will hurt them. Try taking little steps and give your parents a chance to get used to you being grown up. I would ask you to stay at home until you finish college, which will be the first real cutting of the apron strings. College is only for a short time and living at home takes so many other distractions off your plate. Your mom and dad must love you a great deal to offer you the world like this. Sit back and enjoy it.... time will take care of everything.

Answer 3

You seem to have a lot of insight, and also to be considerate of your parents. I was once exactly in your shoes (well, I was 22 and had just graduated from college). I'm now the mom of college students who are seniors (ages 22 and 21) and a freshman (age 19). If you can do so while remaining as calm and level-headed as you can manage, I think moving out would be a good thing. How will you support yourself financially? Will you really finish school, maintain good grades, and not overdo partying? You may want to ask your parents what exactly are their objections -- not nec. so you can give in to them, but so you'll have a better understanding of one another. You personally also might want to read up on the topic of co-dependence. I'm not sure if that's what's going on, but in many families, people don't know how to relate or communicate any better, and so they get overinvolved in one another's lives and take each other's every move too personally. You can read up and learn to understand this dynamic better, in order that you can feel strong in nicely but firmly transitioning to running your own life as you naturally and reasonably wish. Best of luck!

Answer 4

You should stay in a dorm or get an apt. with some school buddies. My kids live 1,000 miles away and I still worry about them and protect them. They're your parents. You need your freedom, but they will always protect you. Be happy they care, some kids don't know how that feels. Sit them down and tell them how much you appreciate their help, but it's time for you to grow up and be out on your own. Remember to call them and visit and they will soon learn how you were right. The more responsibility you take on, the more they will trust you to take cae of yourself. Good Luck~!

Answer 5

I don't see why you should move out of your parents' home unless there's a good reason to do so.

Being 21 years old doesn't necessarily mean much, unless if you had some good source of income.

1. You could move out if you were through with your studies and had a good source of income. Right now you just live on handouts.

2. You could move out if your parents pushed you out. They aren't bothered with you at all, are they!

Many young people do not exercise any discipline the moment they move out. They just get carried away by their friends without any thinking and making sound decisions for themselves. Probably that's your parents' concerns.

3. Just show them some serious responsibilities on your part prior to your proposal to move out. Perhaps your maturity level is also questionable. Some people say, "i'm old enough to marry", but the question is, "are they mature enough to marry?" Before long their marriage fails. They swallowed before chewing, and that's dangerous!

Good day!

Answer 6

I think one of the hardest things a parent has to go through is letting their kids go. But if we've done our job correctly, they will most certainly leave us. It sounds like your parents did a wonderful job raising you (and it was their job) and its time for you to leave the nest.

Get a job and get some money for the first and last month's rent, plus security and everything else you'll need for the apartment. Just tell your parents you've grown up and they did a good job. They'll get over it, they are just prolonging the inevitable.

Good luck and have fun!! And its great that you're staying in college! Education = more money for you!

Answer 7

I understand where your coming from but don't be so quick to move out because your parents are frustrating you. See that your only responsibility is going to school are you ready for rent, the light bill, water, cable, and you can't forget about food. All i'm saying is that you have plenty of time to move out. To be honest alot of my friends who got there own apartment while in college didn't graduate or they didn't graduate on time. I stayed in the dorm and I was the first to graduate out of my crew of 10 girls and on time. So you have to ask yourself if you can go to a full-time job (because that's what its going to take to pay the bills) and classes at the same time. Maybe you should try getting a roommate but i've seen that situation fail also, but its up to you. Just tell your parents how you feel and that your growing up, but don't be so quick to grow up because there's no turning back!!! Goodluck :)

Answer 8

Oh my ...you would want to leave all that...
I got married when I was 17 had a baby at 18, 21, and 23. Went back to college at 27 with 3 kids and noone there to help. Worked 11pm to 7 am and went to college from 8 am to 3 pm. Take advantage of your situation. Enjoy the freedom of not having to work at the moment. Your whole life will be work after you graduate.

Answer 9

You sound very mature. It's not often you hear of someone young that DOESN'T want to mooch off his parents and wants bigger and better things for himself. Look, you are an adult, you are capable of going to war...you are capable of making you own living decisions. If you want to move out, then move out. Don't do it disrespectfully, just move out and thank your parents for everything (they sound great by the way). They may be upset in the start of things but once they see how well youa re doing and how you can do it by yourself, they will be proud. They love you a lot and it is probably hard for them to see their son growing up so fast and it might be a little hard for them to let go. You'll be fine, as long as you are happy, your parents will be happy.

Answer 10

Wow! Where to begin. I am 25 years old and I have been out of my parents house since I turned 18 years old . Not that I was kicked out at that age, I mean I was given several opportunities to stay at home while I was in college. I just wanted to move out because I wanted to be on my own and not have my parents up my butt. However, on the polor opposite my husband is 26 years old and the severe opposite of myself. He is constanly running back to Mommy and Daddy to bail him out because they never allowed him to live on his own or take care of himself. He is nothing like you though. He didnt want to take care of himself he wanted everything handed to him. I feel that you should really sit down with your parents and explain your disposition without arguing about it. I know from experience that working a job brings up work ethic and accountability and when you graduate from college they will look at your employment history also and if you only have college on it they might look over you and go to the person that also has work experience in the field that they graduated in. My advice is maybe look for a part time job that is in the field of your studies and work there. It will build up character and it will also give you self pride because you are earning your own money. Start there and maybe your parents will slowly see that you are trying to move out on your own. Explain the pros of getting at least a part time job in your field and how it will better your potential of landing that dream job when you graduate from college. Really that is the only advice I can give you, my parents were overprotective to a point but in the same breath they let me make my own mistakes and allowed me to come to them when I needed help.