When someone cheats on you its easy to feel like cheating on them...what to do instead when the other person is sorry but not willing to go to counseling or talk about it?
2007-03-09 21:06:27 · 9 answers · asked by TarasBoutiqueAtEtsy 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
he cheated with at least three people or more.
2007-03-09 21:42:50 · update #1
Yes it is easy to be upset and angry and to want to cheat on and hurt them back out of revenge just because you want them to feel the pain and agony that you are feeling. You need to seek counseling and help if need be to learn to forgive and to let go of the pain and anger that you feel. This is not easy BUT is the best way to respond and to start to heal from all of this. Since they will not go for counseling you be the one to go so that you can learn how to deal with all of this and to see where you should go from here. Do you still want the marriage and or relationship or not? This is a question you not only need to ask them but ask yourself this question as well. Just remember cheating on them is not the answer because that is only a temporary fix and will end up hurting you more down the road then if you choose not to do it and take the high road in this case. If you choose to stay with this person then work it out and try to forgive and heal and if you choose to want out then leave and move on with your life and do not look back. BUT you will still need to learn to let go and to forgive someday so you can heal. Forgiveness of another persons wrong doings against you is one of the major steps in healing. Think of it this way If you were the one that slipped up and did something stupid would you want them to seek revenge and hurt you back or would you want them to learn how to forgive you? The answer to this question is how you should respond to what has happened to you. Good luck to you and I am here if you need to talk about things and just to vent. I feel for you and feel your pain and here comes lots of hugs your way. We are not held accountable for what happens to us BUT we are responsible and have control in how we respond .
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2007-03-09 23:53:17 · answer #1 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What I might suggest is that you realize that his cheating is more a cry for help than you would think. I cheated early on in my marriage because I refused to BELIEVE in my wife. I figured she would end up leaving me for someone else or using me and then leave me, etc. I gave her no credit for the person she is and I let my insecurity convince me that I should cheat FIRST. Well, all that did was make our lives miserable.
My point is, people cheat for a lot of different reasons and I think sexual satisfaction is the least of those reasons. I have a hot wife with a great body, mind and personality. Sexually speaking I was completely satisfied. It was my own insecurity, feeling that she was better than me, that caused me to faulter.
I would suggest that you consider telling him that no matter what he thinks that you know that you are no better a person than him and that you feel lucky to be with him and that you love and forgive him for his cheating(s.) I would suggest that you make love to him every day, giving him anything he wants (within normalcy) and make him feel like he is satisfying you fully. Go out of your way to make him feel wanted.
If you can do this for a while, you will end up loving your job and he will believe that you are his soulmate; and you probably are.
Make him feel like a man and he will never betray you again.
2007-03-09 23:16:42 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
If a person says sorry for having cheated once, why is it necessary to go for counseling. Such a person may like to forget about the incident.
2007-03-09 21:37:11 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok, give some time to c that the person has really changed or not. if he's really changed, then there is no need for counselling
and it may hurt to talk abt mistakes again and again, nobody wants to b confronted, u c.
past is past, b happy that all is well now, cheer up and love all.
2007-03-09 21:31:52 · answer #4 · answered by purna 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once he cheats he always cheats. Its truth and fact. Unless he goes to the counsellor and talks about it. But he cheated on you. He lost his respect and cheated on you.
Respect yourself first and then expect others to respect you. Decide what matters more. Your reputation or what he does to you by making you cry. You are a angel to someone and you need to be treated as a princess. Wake up girl. You need to play your cards right.
2007-03-09 21:11:07 · answer #5 · answered by MafiaGal 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't think it would be easy to feel like cheating on them......if they are sorry and you've accepted that then forget it or leave them.
2007-03-09 21:23:31 · answer #6 · answered by abc 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why would you change your attidtude for something like that ? If he cheats on you or she cheats on you, you can either leave him and be a better person or you can join in on him or her and cheat on them and leave them make yourself feel 100% better or you can just do it back to the person and stay with them. You shouldnt change your attidude.
2007-03-10 01:49:01 · answer #7 · answered by mommyandbaby 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, make sure first you are being tested for STDs. Secondly, counselling would do wonders for you, even if he won't go now.
2007-03-09 23:19:31 · answer #8 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
cheaters-liars and thief goes together.you should not trust that kind of people if they did that to you once they can do it to you again and again even a hundred times.
2007-03-09 22:35:58 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋