I just found out last tuesday that i'm pregnant and i don't know what to do. The father knows and says he's not ready to be a dad and says i'm not either. But i'm not sure if i can get an abortion. Can anyone suggest on what i should do? Should i tell the father that i'm thinking about keeping the baby. And i'm only on the dole and just confused on the best thing to do. I have people telling me to keep it and get an abortion. What do i do.
2007-03-09 20:57:40 · 16 answers · asked by mikki22lovable 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
I found out when I was 22 that my boyfriend of only 3 months and I were having a baby. It was a shock, and my boyfriend seemed a lot like your babies father at the time. I couldn't even contemplate having an abortion, and told him so. He was good about it, supported me and we stayed together. We are now married and have 3 beautiful kids together. He now says me getting pregnant was the best thing that could happen, as it enabled us to realise we were meant to be. Don't worry about what other people think, this is your baby, your body. If you want to keep him/her there is help and support out there. You do what you truely want to. Good luck to you, email me if you want to.
2007-03-09 21:09:31 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well 22 and pregnant, I was 20 when I had my daughter and of course having a baby did not make life any easier but with faith and determination I was able to pull off working full time, going to school, and being mom. I am not really sure anyone really knows if they are ready to be a mom. My daughter just turned 4 and let me tell you looking back on it I would do it all over again. My daughter is my life with or without the father in the picture someone your age is totally capable of having a baby and being a great mom. I work in a hospital in the NICU and see moms younger than you do it everyday. I also see girls who have had abortions having man complications when they do decide they want to get pregnant and have miscarriages left and right. If you do decide that you can not raise a baby there is always adoption. There are many people out there that wish they could have a baby. There is even the option of an open adoption where you could still see the baby. Hope this helped =) Good luck !
2007-03-10 05:59:36 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was 17 when I got pregnant with my son, and the father didn't want the baby either, and for a long time after didn't want him, but because he really loves me he stayed with me, and has helped me raise him, and today we have a beautiful baby boy that we both love the heck out of. I had him at 18 and i'm 19 now- he's 17 months old. If i could do it practically alone (i got up all night and day, diapers, care, bottles, etc. i did everything alone whether my bf was there or not) then you can do it- you are older and more mature than i was at 18. It is ultimately up to you to decide what is best. If you do not love the father of your baby, and he doesn't love you and will leave you if you keep it, and you are not ready for a baby alone, then you can still consider abortion... it usually costs around $500 ( i did consider it, but i couldn't.) and there are a ton of couples out there that are fully financially stable, and loving and cannot have a baby that would love to adopt yours. If you do decide to keep it, just take in all the factors... costs of clothes, cribs, doctor visits, bottles, formula (if you decide not to breastfeed), diapers, wipes, sheets, toys, baby products, etc. It does add up quite fast, and unless you can get help from a church or family to help out with items, it can get very expensive to have and raise a child. Remember if you decide to have him you can never just give him back on the days that they scream for hours on end, when they get sick, when they are hurt, etc. I'm not trying to scare you, but these are all things i really didn't even think about when i had my baby and were all a shock afterwards, but i would never change my mind if i could go back... i love my son so much! even the daddy loves him to death and couldn't give him up. also, i was with my bf for 5 years before we got pregnant, so i knew he would stay and he left the final decision to me. How long have you been with this guy? if it's not someone you want to be tied to forever, just leave him and raise the baby alone or look into adoption or abortion. Good luck sweetie and I hope you find your way. if you need any help or have any other questions, just email me! i am here if you need me. Best wishes! things will get better! â¥
2007-03-10 05:25:50 · answer #3 · answered by lynn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The real question is do you feel like taking on the responsibilities that come along with having this baby.
Honestly if you really think you can handle this on your own, then by all means.
It is a wonderful thing having a baby, but just make sure you have good support from family and friends.
and its pretty much too late to get an abortion.
so if anything you might have to look into adoption if you chose not to keep the baby.
2007-03-10 05:08:29 · answer #4 · answered by babiimamii 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to do what you feel is best in your heart. While I don't believe that anyone should get an abortion based on their own decision to have unprotected sex, its not my life and not something that I would have to live with for the rest of my life.
I am 26 and pregnant with my first. My spouse and I are ready for children, but that doesn't mean that it is not scary. It is life changing, but I think only for the better.
You can't let anyone make decisions for you. It only builds resentment in the long run if in the end you think you made the wrong decision.
You chose your actions to begin with and now you need to make an adult decision.
2007-03-10 05:06:46 · answer #5 · answered by hollilynn 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your family. Since you are confused on what to do, an abortion is most likely not the best choice for you. Adoption is always an option. Remember there are more people who support you than you know.
2007-03-10 05:58:17 · answer #6 · answered by kittenbrower 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you decide to have the baby you can always put it up for adoption...There are so many couples that are waiting for a baby in the adoption pool...I am one of them...Good families that are financially solid, yet conceivably unable...Think about this route...and if you want to know a really nice family, contact me...Good luck in your decision...but I think it's best to have the little bambino...after all, wasn't this baby made in love? So why punish the baby because you or dad aren't ready to be parents yet...Don't be afraid...there are options out there...Best wishes...
2007-03-10 05:10:03 · answer #7 · answered by ♥Minnie Mouse♥ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why not look into adoption? There are so many families out there who are ready to love your baby. You could meet them and decide on the best ones. They'll pay your medical and legal expenses too, and you may even negotiate to see your child or to get pictures and updates if you want. Oh, and next time, use birth control and date men who are reliable.
2007-03-10 05:03:29 · answer #8 · answered by Katherine W 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
If he's not ready to be a father..then, really..the choice is still yours..as long as he pays child support..thats all you can do. If you want to have the baby and you feel you are ready and able then go for it. If not, there are alternatives.
2007-03-10 05:05:59 · answer #9 · answered by Minty 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try not to worry about it, from what ive seen alot of guys are nervouse with their first child, ive seen and heard alot say they arent ready. but just give him sometime, alot of guys grow out of that 'i dont wanna be a daddy, you cant make me grow up!' stage and then they realize they created life and take a stand and help out and come around and decide they are ready.. its just a big shock to them i guess. and if your thinking about keeping the baby tell him. he cant make you get rid of it if you want it. it IS still yours, try not to let others talk you into getting rid of it if its not something you want to do. and if he doesnt think either of you are ready to be parents thats his fault. you did the act you take care of the result... so to speak.. hehe.. hope that helps. just try to stay calm, relax and enjoy in the knowledge that maybe around this time next year, youll have a beautiful baby to love and adore.
2007-03-10 05:20:58 · answer #10 · answered by Angel D 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋