My brother for several reasons is volunteering to deploy early to Afganistan. While processing his paperwork he updated his will & increased his life insurance to as much as he could get & even got extra from outside the military. He also included his will set aside part of his "estate" to set up a trust fund for his ex's son from a relationship before him. He still cares for both & the father of the son is a deadbeat. Anyways he figures if he dies while deployed or whatever that setting alittle aside would help him go to school maybe even beyond while also help her by not making her have to worry so much about saving as she is struggling to get back on her feet after kicking out her latest guy.The opinion finally is would you inform her ahead or wait & have her find out only if something happens. I personally think he should wait but thats me. He feels he should get her input as it put her into a guilt trip of sorts since he would be gone.
2007-03-09 20:53:10 · 8 answers · asked by bpeter3196 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I trust my brother & it's he's desicion. I do see his point of sort of preparing her for the worse kind of thing but at the same time neither of us want "it" to influence her feels. She's tried to reconnect with him even apologies for not being there for him even as just friends let alone some of her choices while they were together but again & most of you kind people seem to agree that it just would best not to & might even put false feelings or "guilt trip" her into feeling that she has to like him agian or something when he's happy content being friends & really just wants her happy something that she has find very little during her life. I guess he can't win either way... Thanks again for your time.
2007-03-09 21:12:18 · update #1
Sorry if the last sentence in the first part was confusing no he is hoping not trying to quilt trip her which is why he thinks he should tell her before so that if he dies it isnt a suprise. As for the will my father will have the orginal as he's the executor.
2007-03-09 21:18:39 · update #2
No he doesnt have a death wish LOL they been friends for like 5 years since they split. As for the volunteering its only a difference of a few months & he's 24 & still be all you can be.
2007-03-09 21:22:32 · update #3
you got it man don't tell her. your brother just wants her back. so you see hes not thinking good at all
2007-03-09 21:02:11 · answer #1 · answered by freeman3905@sbcglobal.net 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would recommend waiting. He may change his mind or find someone new. He should give a copy of his will to a trusted family member with the request that his ex be told upon his death. Your last sentence is confusing. Does he want his ex to feel guilty? If so, he must have some unresolved feelings for her. Also, does he have a death wish? I suspect there is more to this decision to volunteer and the gift. See if you can draw him out. He might want to examine his feelings.
2007-03-10 05:10:23 · answer #2 · answered by NeNe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he should wait and see if he doesn't come home safely. If he does come home safely and i pray he does, he'll have he chance to explain what he's done in person and might be able to have a second chance with her and her son.
She doesn't need to know he's setting money aside for her as it may change her feelings toward him.
Give your brother my best wishes and hopefully he returns home safely.
2007-03-10 05:04:28 · answer #3 · answered by Alyeria 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being someone who is here, my advice is to tell her before. She will be worried about 100 different things and financial stability in the event of his death is something very heavy to think about. It will be a big chunk of the worry removed.
2007-03-10 05:07:51 · answer #4 · answered by dude0795 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I personally wouldn't tell her! Maybe your brother has a reason that he wants to tell her.
2007-03-10 05:01:40 · answer #5 · answered by australiangemstone 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust your brothers' judgement - he knows exactly what he is doing & why.
2007-03-10 05:00:16 · answer #6 · answered by Mishell 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ask him not to tell her
2007-03-10 04:57:15 · answer #7 · answered by defragmentedbrain 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would not tell her. God bless****
2007-03-10 05:00:29 · answer #8 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋