I have a friend who lies. These lies are starting to take a toll on our friendship. Examples:
1. He'll say the 1st thing that pops in his head even if it isn't the truth. (What did you have for lunch today? Him-Burger King. Me-Well why do you have a reciept for Taco Bell dated for today?)
After being caught, he still won't admit to his lie. He keeps defending it and eventually gets mad at you for something (why are you making a big deal)
2. He'll lie to get out of trouble.
(Me-Did you...?
Him-No
Me-Well why is...)
The thing is he can't keep up with his lies so the next day I'll ask the same question and he'll give a different answer. Then he'll get mad b/c I question him.
3. He says he said things he didn't say.
(I'll say are you hungry? He'll say I just TOLD YOU I already ate.) But in reality, he didn't say that at all.
4. His lies are usually really small, insignificant, and pointless. His mom and other friends know he lies but everyone just deals wit it.
2007-03-09 20:49:01 · 5 answers · asked by So_many_questions 3 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
I had a friend just like that! Honesty is the best policy, have a talk with him, and tell him that its getting out of hand and its compromising your friendship, or at least tell him that you are not comfortable with the whole thing..of course if he never admits the lies it's not gonna be helpful.
2007-03-09 20:57:52 · answer #1 · answered by HypNotikA 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Realistically: If you aren't a psychotherapist you don't. The best you can do is to ignore or not give any credence to his lies. You can call him on his lies but if he feels you are being confrontational (even when you are not) he will only become defensive.
Lying the way he does usually suggests that he feels very insecure about himself. It is, definitely, something to be concerned about. Without knowing a lot more about him it isn't really possible to say exactly why he lies the way he does.
If you feel comfortable enough with it you can talk to one or both of his parents about it. Let them know that you are concerned for him and don't want to see this pattern of behaviour interfere with his life. Be sensitive about it, though. He is their son and they may find it difficult to accept that he needs to change.
You need to make some decisions for yourself, though. It is good to want to and try to help others but it is also important to realise your limitations in this. If his behaviour is having a negative effect on you it might not be healthy for you to maintain this relationship. There's no easy way to tell you how to decide that but it doesn't mean you have to stop being his friend altogether. Maye it'll be enough to just spend less time with him. Maybe no change needs to be made. It is for you to evaluate and decide.
No matter what it is a good friend that takes such concern.
2007-03-09 21:18:37 · answer #2 · answered by ophelliaz 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call him on it, as you already are, suggest that he see a counsellor/therapist, tell him if it continues, you want no part of it. A true friend doesn't lie. But follow up on the therapist idea first, there may be a pathological reason behind the lies, in which case he needs your support and understanding. the worst thing you can do is condone and feed into his lies.
2007-03-09 21:16:18 · answer #3 · answered by presumedduggy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would agree with Hypnotik honesty is the best policy. I might also ask whats going on in his life that he feels he cannot tell people the truth. Maybe he's wanting attention or approval from those around him, but won't know unless you ask. Good luck.
2007-03-09 21:03:42 · answer #4 · answered by caz 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You can't and should not have to fix it for him -- And with you staying in that situation you will start feeling drained -- I believe you all ready are -- You are letting that person take away your energy -- He has to seek the help -- In order to continue your relationship -- That's what you need to say and mean it --
2007-03-09 21:01:30 · answer #5 · answered by pattijohughes 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋