How can I stop being so critical of people ?

Question

I seem to be too judgemental when it comes to other people's values. Somehow I have convinced myself, my values are of such high Value :) that I often show disrespect for people who don't have them- like people who are hypocritical or polygamic or offensive to other people. I believe that if they don't show respect to other people- they don't diserve any. Yet this causes me great discomfort as I am almost always at disconsent with smb. The problem is my feelings are so intense I can't usually control them - I end up falling out with friends and colleagues and this is hurting me and it is hurting them as well.
I know I' m not perfect, although i'm obviously trying to be ;) - I dont know why i want the others to have accomplished perfection....My expectations have sky -rocketed ...I can't place them on Earth. Does anyone have some useful advice on what to do.
Thank you ...

Answer 1

I couldn't tell you what you could do really, maybe just try to understand that people aren't perfect. Everytime someone is doing something that you don't agree with, just remember that you WANT to change. If that doesn't work... try therapy. Maybe you have some sort of OCD.

Answer 2

Not to push any religious view, because I in turn am not very religious, but I do believe there is no such thing as perfection as far as humans go. The only thing perfect known to man is God. Gods word is infallible and only he reserves the right to judge anyone because I believe he created us. The problem with the human race is that everyone swears they know the way things should be done, but as the old saying goes there are a lot of way to skin a cat. Everyone (I should stop saying everyone but it easier to type than "most people" and I'm just being lazy) should have high expectations but never let them control who you are as person or affect others in a negative way. A lot of your expectations may be subjective opinions that the person you expect things from may just not agree with. Doesn't mean either one of you are right or wrong, you just have differences. Don't ever strive to be perfect, you WILL fail every time. It is great to you actually recognize your self-centeredness and a willing to received help, but at some point you have to realize that imperfection is really what make the world go round and that you best trait is accepting people for who or what they are and either just dealing with them or ignore them because that the only thing you can rightfully affect in a relationship between to 2 people.

Answer 3

Maybe you may learn the secret of the song, "Let it be" by the Beatles many years ago. I also think we need to honor other people by letting them behave or do something in their own ways on the condition that their behavior or action should not interfere with the others' affairs. I think it is all right not to judge people all the time, I used to be critical like you years ago but some good and great friends advised me not to for a simple reason: unless you need criticism, you should not criticize others without invitation or permission. I have long felt relieved and happier ever since.

Answer 4

Well, if you recognize your problem you are on the way to recovery. You should always wonder what is perfection. What is it really? Can you take into account other people's points of view? Their feelings.
Good luck.