I feel like people walk all over me all the time........ it affects my self esteem and confidence. I want to not let people say any old thing they choose.....got any practical suggestions?
2007-03-09 18:53:15 · 4 answers · asked by louise c 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Being assertive comes easiest when you KNOW you are right about something. If someone has wronged you in some way... be able to PROVE your case... don't just whine about it. People have often told me how assertive I am... but it has never been said in a rude manner. It is just that I pick and choose my 'battles' and only go for the ones I know are important enough for me to stand up and be heard. Just keep in mind... while people are saying just any old thing they want to that is offensive to you... you do not have to listen to them or to put any stock in what they say. Sometimes being assertive does not require you to put them in their place but merely to IGNOR THEM... trust me... they get the hint after a while when there is no one there for them to bark at.
2007-03-09 19:17:13 · answer #1 · answered by wonderful1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Speak honestly.
If someone insults you ask them if they intended to insult you. and why they would do that to someone
This is verbal aikido. You defend yourself by putting the attention on them where it belongs, but you must do it from your heart, put your attention on your heart, otherwise it will be revenge and it will keep coming back at you.
don't worry about self-esteem. Doing things that challenge you in your comfort zone will automatically give you self-esteem. Be a Peaceful Warrior( a good book by Dan Millman, by the way.) You are no doubt subconsciously inviting people to walk all over you. It's so you can overcome this lack of assertiveness.
You can get out of worrying about this by putting your attention on your breathing and perceptions and bring yourself into present time. You will feel better, too.
my best to you
2007-03-09 19:38:29 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I find looking people in the eye, speaking clearly and having open body language works. The hard bit about being assertive is telling people how you are feeling, especially if they have upset you.
2007-03-09 20:55:09 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look people directly in the eyes and stand REAL close to them.
2007-03-09 20:46:36 · answer #4 · answered by Iron Wolf 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋