qwestion: I neeed help I need a job that isent off and on
to get money and I'm trying so hard to go back to school and I want to get a steedy job because the off and on thing isent enought to live on really. Now we moved 3000 milles for my my sister, she lives with her husband, and now after all that she acts so evil and says we bug her when we dont go over there anymore becaue of the way she acts! The problome is that she want's me to watch her 1year 7 mounth old son but I can't do that and get a job and she knows that. And says she will pay me in fast food LOL I need the money to get thing I need. How do I deal?
I don't have a back bone I bairly can stand up to people but yet she knows that and is still bugging me. She is selfish and knows I wanna help her. She just wants me to put my life on hold so that she can start hers. I feel traped and starting to get depressed someone help PLZ!
2007-03-09 18:17:36 · 10 answers · asked by Jazz 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Start looking for a job. Make yourself busy by going and physically looking by walking if you have to so that you can have a real excuse and an explanation as to why you can't help your sister. Your both adults now I am assuming, so you don't need to take care of her if you ever "needed" to. Make it clear that you didn't *&^% up her life by making her have a child when she so obviously isn't prepared and that your not paying the price on her behalf. Just because you don't have a back bone as you put it doesn't mean you have to take everything lying down. For Pete's sake just get pissed and let that fuel you on your job search.
Good Luck finding a job and stop trying to make everyone around you have a better life. You need to be selfish for a short while so that YOUR life will be on track.
2007-03-09 18:24:18 · answer #1 · answered by espressoaddict22 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Say something nice to her like, "I'd really love watching that baby! He is so precious! And we'd have so much fun! But I really need to work at a job where I can make some big bucks with all the bills I have and stuff. You know how it is, Sis. I know you understand." And then get away quickly before she has a chance to start going off on you or whatever she does. She is entirely too selfish and is trying to take advantage of your niceness. Paying you with fast food? That's bull sh**! She sounds like she thinks you are a real pushover. Don't get caught up in all that! If you don't look out for #1, that' s you, then nobody else will. Don't let her get you like that. It is not your responsibility to provide free child care to her for any reason. She can get some help from DSS for that if she wants it. That's what they are there for, not you. Hold up to it and sneak it in on her like I said. She won't be expecting that to come from you and it will work. If not, then don't do it any way! She needs to be responsible for her own!
2007-03-10 02:33:33 · answer #2 · answered by froggsfriend 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to go to the local employment office and get a job. That means going to the employment office, filling out forms, talking about your skills and using their advice to take the first full-time job you are suited for. Then do a good job, be a good employee.
Your sister is going to want you to babysit because you can't seem to get it together to apply for and hold a job. She doesn't want to pay you a decent wage either. It's not a question of putting your life on hold for her - it's a question of moving your butt and starting employment. Did you think a job was going to come to you without you even trying?
Do you have any skills at all? Go to the local hospital and see if you can get a job in their cafeteria. Or in an office. Or try working for a temp agency. I have a feeling your problem isn't that you lack a backbone - it's that you lack energy and commitment to working a full-time, get-dressed-everyday, show-up-on-time job! That is what your sister notices.
2007-03-10 02:37:56 · answer #3 · answered by kathyw 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She is trying to take advantage of the fact you are her sister & in need of a job! HELLO.?! YOU ARENT A DAYCARE CENTER, thats what those are for.! Babysitting- if she needs someone to watch over her children then she's going to have to pay big bucks unless she can bribe some stupid teen for fast food. Dont let her do that to you, you have a life too! Maybe not a job- but nonetheless a life & soon the right job WILL come along- it just takes time. So let her know you wont because you have things to do & havent the time to watch children right now.
2007-03-10 02:26:07 · answer #4 · answered by CuRiOuS1989.! 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
To keep same living arrangements ,you're going to have to tell her the truth, which pretty much sounds like this - " I love you and your son, but you're gonna have to pay me by the hour and in " CASH " if you want me to continue to babysit!!" There's your job and her freedom ! Two birds with one stone as they say. Ya never know , she may be so surprised you finally got a backbone she may just take you up on that offer. If she doesn't ,babtsit for someone else ,soon she will want to go out and she will want you to babysit and you can try that new spine out again and tell her to get bent. You will have your own money and won't need her "french fry charity" Sure , she can get a new sitter but who do ya trust with your kids now days and she would have to pay them too. Good Luck!!
2007-03-10 02:41:21 · answer #5 · answered by K.Heat 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Pull yourself up by your limp backbone & get a real job with a real paycheck. Quit whining & expect others to help you. Go back to school & get grants to help with tuition. books & housing. You sound like you're barely out of high school so this shouldn't be difficult. Learn the word "NO" concerning your sister taking advantage of you. If you want to babysit she must pay you the going wage as a daycare worker. If she isn't willing to do so, walk away. You can do it. Good Luck!
2007-03-10 03:49:18 · answer #6 · answered by Little sis 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your sister has her own life, so she needs to take care of her own problems with her husband! Her problems aren't your responsibility, neither are her childcare issues. She is selfish and manipulating you, by making you feel bad! What a hateful person!!! You are obviously a nice person, but you must not allow her to do this to you, anymore! You need to be good to yourself, try being selfish and take care of your life for a change! You have your hopes and dreams ahead of you to achieve and you can do anything you want in your life, once you set your mind to do them!!! Don't let your selfish, miserable sister sabotage your plans for a happy and successful life, just because she's unhappy with the decision's she made in her own! Follow your dreams and good luck to you!
2007-03-10 02:37:16 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
maybe try helping her at certain times and working a schedule that allows that working together you can make sure the kids are cared for and both move on with your lives. there are different job opportunities available and you should really check around to get the best job that offers growth yet makes you whole and happy as well. i think you can do both things. i mean this good luck and grow toward happiness.
2007-03-10 02:27:31 · answer #8 · answered by me 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Be honest with her. I mean you traveled 3000 miles to be with her. She should be grateful. I know you're shy(I am too), but sometimes you really just got to stand up for yourself. Tell her you can't watch her son because you're looking for a job and trying to get back to school. I'm sure you're always there for her, just tell her that. Tell her that it's her turn to be there for you. She might be mad at you, but I'm sure she will understand eventually. Hope that helps. Good luck!
2007-03-10 02:27:46 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
sound like you need to run away from your sister and do you the best way you know how she isnt good for you you dont need to be tied up you need to live your young life to the fulliest gl
2007-03-10 02:53:50 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋