i have a friend who is going through this and its slowly killing her inside. she is trying to move on and wants everything to work out and is happy as she can be with what she knows about her husbands affairs. i wanted to try to help her with some advice on how to forgive and move on for her sake and sanity.
2007-03-09 18:14:58 · 19 answers · asked by manningsmommy 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If that is behind them, let it stay there. You said she is happy. Let her be happy. The best advice comes from a professional who can give them an objective viewpoint. She may want to seek one of the church elders that she trusts.
2007-03-09 18:19:34 · answer #1 · answered by the Goddess Angel 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I found out my husband was cheating on me, we are now divorcing, it was a deal breaker, there was no way I could forget let alone forgive what he had done. If she believes she can truely forgive and move on than I say the marriage is worth fighting for BUT he must be sincere that he will never do it again. I would say time will tell if she can really forgive, she will never forget though. Give her as much support as she needs right now and just let her talk her feelings out, I was so glad when I had my friends to lean on, you are a great friend for caring and being there for her when she needs you the most, which is now!! I wish her all the best.
2007-03-09 18:23:39 · answer #2 · answered by Sunny 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no easy way to get over a cheating spouse. First of all has her husband admitted that he's in the wrong for doing this to her. For her to really forgive him is going to be so difficult as he has betrayed the woman he promised to love and cheating on her isn't showing love that is showing disrespect. Maybe she should do some counselling on her own and as a couple, this may help her find the words she needs to tell her hubby how much he hurt her. My bf cheated on me and it took me so long to get over it. I forgave him but you can't forget as quickly, it stays with you for a long time. The only thing you can do as a friend is let her blow off her steam and i know you may get sick of hearing it after a while but that's what good friends are for.
2007-03-09 18:50:27 · answer #3 · answered by jimmy_chick78 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is she still in the marriage? If so trying to forgive a cheating husband is a HUGE load to take on. Marriage counseling is a MUST. It would be very hard to overcome without it. If she left then I still say counseling. Counseling is a powerful thing and can help so much. When someone you love betrays you its not an easy thing and with or without counseling it is going to take TIME...time heals all wounds (or something like that, lol). But really time is the key factor. She needs to know why her husband done this and that will be her starting point. Because most likely it wasnt something she done, he is a flipping idiot man and they do ridiculous things.
2007-03-09 18:24:15 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your friend should seek counseling. I don't think there is an easy way to get over a spouses affair. I think it is going to hurt like hell for a long time. I was cheated on by a boyfriend and I was devastated. The idea of being cheated on by someone who made a vow to me, I assume, would hurt much more.
Is her spouse willing to talk with her about this, because his support in this is really vital to her moving on. I don't think this is something she will easily recover from, but knowing she is not alone can help.
2007-03-09 18:24:09 · answer #5 · answered by kalea_kane 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry for your friend, but I don't believe in second chances. If two people love each other and make a commitment as sacred and serious as marriage, THEY DO NOT COMMIT INFIDELITY!!!!!! There is no justifiable reason for such a break of trust regardless of the excuse of being human. If she takes him back she should think about every time she gets into bed to share any intimacy with him she might as well be intimate with his mistress too. If he promised to love, honor and cherish and didn't care about that - what's to say that if she is terminally ill he would stand beside her? I would say throw the dirt bag out into the gutter where he belongs and find someone that will treat her the way she deserves to be treated!
2007-03-09 18:34:52 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would think a hurt and betrayal like that would take years and years to "get over". However, not knowing their personal situation and story, I would need to know if she contributed to her husband going outside their marriage; afterall, it is a two way street. Does he want the marriage to work? Was this somthing that could have been avoided by taking better care of each other as spouses should do?
2007-03-09 18:43:07 · answer #7 · answered by Puddles 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When I was married to my ex husband, he had ceated on me several times. On a couple such occaions, he had given me the details on what went on between himself and the woman he cheated on me with....
In my opinion, there really isn't anything you can tell her that will actually help her get over it sooner then it usually takes someone to get over a betrayal like that.. The only thing you can do, is be the best friend you can and support her in any decision she makes when it comes to the relationship in question..
What I did to get over it, well eventually I got enough of it and realized I was selling myself short by being with such a bonehead.. Tell her that she should re evaluate where the relationship is going and figure out whether or not she is willing to deal with being cheated on for the rest of her life with a guy like that.. Because once they do it 1 time, they WILL do it again.. I hope everything works out for your friend.. Tell her that she's not alone..
2007-03-09 18:24:33 · answer #8 · answered by mandipoo4u 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If both of them have kids, it would be the best interest to 'close one eye' to his affairs.
It's all in the mind. However, having said that, she probably would want to keep a clear line in her relationship with her husband.
What I mean is ... make sure she get her share of his monthly maintenance for the family. Have him pay for every home necessities. Her husband should now be a low priority in her life. Looked after her children well and have her own personal time (forget about togehter with husband).
Go on with her life and try to enjoy without him.
2007-03-09 18:37:45 · answer #9 · answered by Phantom of the Opera 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All you can do is to tell her to concentrate on taking care of herself so she can become the best person she can be so when the real Mr. Right comes along she'll be ready to share her life with him. She is going to have many ups and downs for a long time, let's face it ...her heart is broken. There will be times, she will need to be busy and there will be times when she feels like she just needs to be alone and be sad. Be there for her when she needs you, and give her space when she needs space. She is very lucky to have the love of a good friend. Getting over a bad relationship is never easy, and there isn't any quick fix...just time.
2007-03-09 18:37:10 · answer #10 · answered by Cynthia 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋